pcs13 Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 (edited) Broke up with my ex 6 months ago, I got over it kinda quickly and met a really good-looking, funny and sweet guy. We've been seeing each other exclusively (but not gf bf) for 3 months. I've met all his best mates and we spend every weekend together. Basically we're like bf gf without the title. The problem is I can't seem to feel connected to him emotionally. All we do is hanging out, having sex and just being silly together.. He likes to make jokes and never fail to make me laugh but can be serious when needed. He is also very caring, he takes care of me when I'm tired and asks about my problems. For whatever reason we just can't take things to a deeper level. We don't talk about our feelings, secrets, dreams and desires or discuss about things, sharing our opinions (we are both very chilled and laid-back and don't really have many strong opinions about things though) I was always happy with how things were processed. But lately because of my coming period I feel really emotional and sad about it. I can't see how we could become bf and gf in the future and him be someone I can share everything with. I told him that and explained how I feel. Unsurprisingly he felt the same way but looked really sad when I told him that. He said "I ****ing adore you and am really attracted to you but it feels like something is missing and I can't explain it. I don't feel like it will process any further, as in a relationship". I asked if he thinks we could fix it or that's just how thing is. He said we can't force how we feel which I agreed. I then asked if he wants to date other people and suggested being friends since it's not going anywhere anyway. He said he doesn't want to date anyone else (I'm the first girl he actually date after his first gf whom he broke up with 3 years ago), can't think of me as a friends and would still think about me if we broke things off. We kinda just dropped the topic there, kissed some more then sex then coffee date like normal. But we talked more and I asked him some personal questions which he answered genuinely and we both opened up more about ourselves. I asked him to tell me more about himself and he asked me to do the same thing, he said I'm distant when we're away, I told him I can only open up when the other does the same thing, he agreed. Seems like we were trying to fix it. My last relationship didn't work out for the same reason (guy claimed to love me but felt something is missing). He said my problem is I always try to be the cool girl. I never complain (I always try to rationalize things and ignore my own feelings), never get annoyed/jealous (but really it takes a lot to annoy me), always are chilled and happy (that's actually how I am). I'm also confident, independent, loving and good at communicating. I do let guys know when something bothers me but won't stay sad for long. I give guys space and freedom etc basically I've learned to be the girl every dating article tell you to be. Guys adore me, think I'm perfect but those who I'm interested in and serious about just can't fall in love with me or leave me for someone more "real". I'm honestly scared that I will never be someone's "the one". I really like this guy and I want him to be my bf but I need to feel like one day we can love each other. I think I can fix it by trying to express my feeling for him more, let him know I'm actually crazy about him, initiate texts more... My question is do you think it's worth fixing? He said he doesn't think it could get any further so basically it's like saying we could never be gf bf. Should I keep dating him and see how things change? I'm actually quite happy with where I'm standing now but isn't it supposed to go somewhere? Sorry for the long post and thanks for spending time reading it Edited October 18, 2015 by pcs13
Yookie Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 He said "I ****ing adore you and am really attracted to you but it feels like something is missing and I can't explain it. I don't feel like it will process any further, as in a relationship". My question is do you think it's worth fixing? He said he doesn't think it could get any further so basically it's like saying we could never be gf bf. You can't fix it if he's not on board with fixing it. He already gave you his answer.
Author pcs13 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 Yeah but it seems like he wants to fix it. He agreed to be more open with me and we talked about our feelings after that. I haven't fall in love with him and hoping we can do that at the same time.
Toodaloo Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Yeah but it seems like he wants to fix it. He agreed to be more open with me and we talked about our feelings after that. I haven't fall in love with him and hoping we can do that at the same time. Now your dreaming... Your going to end up hurting yourself.
hippychick3 Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 When a guy tells you something is missing, it's time to move on. That can't be fixed. The right guy won't feel something is missing.
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