cancelled date

[fred123]

I had a fourth date planned for tonight. She was coming to mine for a takeout and dvd. She even knew i told my parents to give us a few hours space to chill.

She t3xted me an hour ago saying shes tired and shes sorry. I now have no plans for tonight. She said she is free tomorrow or tuesday but clearly shes not interested. She lives 5 mins away.

 

Just venting and sad. Had things planned for us tonight.

[ScienceGal]

Was this the first date not in public?

[SoulCat]

Come on Fred, why do you not give her the benefit of the doubt?

 

She's already been on 3 dates with you so clearly there is something she likes about you. Otherwise things would have fizzled out after the first or second date.

 

The fact she told you she's free tomorrow and Tuesday seems to indicate she would like to see you again. It's quite feasible she really was tired this evening.

 

 

Why don't you text her to say you're sorry to hear she's not coming over, but maybe you two could meet up for a nice Sunday brunch tomorrow?

[fred123]

Yh its first time meeting not in public. Im busy working all day tomorrow and finish work on mon and tues at 9pm then heading off to florida. So have no time and personally i think she isnt interested. Just want attention maybe.

[SoulCat]

Yh its first time meeting not in public. Im busy working all day tomorrow and finish work on mon and tues at 9pm then heading off to florida. So have no time and personally i think she isnt interested. Just want attention maybe.

 

 

Any chance you can invite her for a bite to eat or coffee after you finished work tomorrow?

 

 

Don't throw in the towel too quickly mate!

[LostOnes05]

DVD and chill didn't work?? Sorry Fred, but I wouldn't invite her anywhere after that. Let her come to you, if she has any interest.

[fred123]

DVD and chill didn't work?? Sorry Fred, but I wouldn't invite her anywhere after that. Let her come to you, if she has any interest.

 

 

Did i do something wrong?

[TunaCat]

Why are you so willing to write her off after this ONE incident?

 

It's a 4th date, not a first so I wouldn't immediately jump to "she's not interested" Is there any reason to suspect that she's not comfortable coming to your place for "takeout & a dvd" We all know what that's generally code for.

 

She immediately had a counter offer, so clearly she wants to see you.

[fred123]

She was ok with it this week and upto a few hours ago we decided to have a pizza takeout. She seemed ok with coming to mine i thought

[SoulCat]

Come on buddy, give the girl a break.

 

Maybe she was really tired, maybe she finds the first date 'in private' a bit intimidating.

This doesn't mean she's not interested.

 

Just take it down a notch, move a little slower.

 

If you really like this girl, make her feel safe. Don't be pushy. Roll with her at her pace.

She respect you for it.

[GemmaUK]

I had a fourth date planned for tonight. She was coming to mine for a takeout and dvd. She even knew i told my parents to give us a few hours space to chill.

She t3xted me an hour ago saying shes tired and shes sorry. I now have no plans for tonight. She said she is free tomorrow or tuesday but clearly shes not interested. She lives 5 mins away.

 

Just venting and sad. Had things planned for us tonight.

 

Maybe she thought you were after sexy time and she wasn't up for that so quick.

You had a takeout and DVD planned so was there 'other' things you had planned? Kinda sounds like it from your last sentence....?

 

As it is you're off away so it's no biggie and dating would have to wait until you get back anyway.

[Madame_Noire]

I agree with GemmaUK. It sounded like 'Netflix and chill'

 

Maybe with you going off to Florida, she probably thought you would have slept with her and then lost interest by conveniently going away for a while.

 

Just keep chatting/texting in the meantime if possible. As someone else suggested, maybe if you meet up after work for a quick coffee or something?

[ScienceGal]

She likely isn't ready to meet with you in private. Since you seem to want to know, why not just ask her?

 

IMO though, if that is the case, she should've just been up front about it.

 

Also, to me, "Netflix and chill" equals at least cuddling and making out.

[GemmaUK]

'Netflix and chill' has actually become a UK joke/synonym for sex!

 

It used to be 'fun' on an OLD profile now it's either 'fun or NF&C apparently...

[MissBee]

Why are you so willing to write her off after this ONE incident?

 

It's a 4th date, not a first so I wouldn't immediately jump to "she's not interested" Is there any reason to suspect that she's not comfortable coming to your place for "takeout & a dvd" We all know what that's generally code for.

 

She immediately had a counter offer, so clearly she wants to see you.

 

I agree.

 

Maybe in the end she wasn't comfortable with your plans...i.e. the elephant in the room of sex. It's quite possible to think you're okay with something or feel pressured then later decide you're not fine. Or she could actually be tired. I think her offering up other options is a positive sign. If a guy gave up on me after I'd think he was just in it for sex and the minute I didn't come over to his place for sex he threw the towel in.

 

As others said, offer her something else, even after you get in from work , which shows you actually want to see her and spend time with her not just hook up. If she also declines that then sure, I'd say she's not interested.

[katiegrl]

I had a fourth date planned for tonight. She was coming to mine for a takeout and dvd. She even knew i told my parents to give us a few hours space to chill.

She t3xted me an hour ago saying shes tired and shes sorry. I now have no plans for tonight. She said she is free tomorrow or tuesday but clearly shes not interested. She lives 5 mins away.

 

Just venting and sad.

 

 

**Had things planned for us tonight***.

 

I'm sure you did! lol

 

She's no dope, she knew exactly what you had *planned* too.

 

Did she also know you would then be busy every night until you took off for Florida?

 

How convenient. Have sex then be busy until you leave town.

 

No wonder she cancelled!

 

She was on to your game, err "plan" and wanted no part of it!

 

If you are genuinely interested in her, contact her when you return from Florida and take it from there.

 

And next time you *plan* to have sex with a chick for the first time, *plan* to stick around for awile afterwards.

 

There is nothing worse than having sex with a guy for the first time, and then him announcing he will be *busy* and then out of town for the next couple of weeks... how convenient. Lol ugh

Edited October 17, 2015 by katiegrl

[MissBee]

I'm sure you did! lol

 

She's no dope, she knew exactly what you had *planned* too.

 

Did she also know you would then be busy every night until you took off for Florida?

 

How convenient. Have sex then be busy until you leave town.

 

No wonder she cancelled!

 

She was on to your game, err "plan" and wanted no part of it!

 

If you are genuinely interested in her, contact her when you return from Florida and take it from there.

 

And next time you *plan* to have sex with a chick for the first time, *plan* to stick around for awile afterwards.

 

There is nothing worse than having sex with a guy for the first time, and then him announcing he will be *busy* and then out of town for the next couple of weeks... how convenient. Lol ugh

 

I didn't think about this. Yea that makes it even less likely she'd want to go ahead with this plan if she knew you'd be gone for a while after.

 

Many women are wary of being used for sex so you have to understand that it's in her best interest to play it cautious, even if she does like you, and the situation you set up isn't one that would make most women who like you comfortable.

[fred123]

I had no plan to sleep with her. Shes a great girl. I liker her. I like spending time with her.

[Lois_Griffin]

Are you guys teenagers? I ask because you said you asked your parents for some privacy. Blech. Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of hanging out at your parent's house.

[katiegrl]

I had no plan to sleep with her. Shes a great girl. I liker her. I like spending time with her.

 

That's interesting.

 

It's been said on this board many many times that if a guy invites a girl back to his place, it's to have sex. That if a girl isn't ready or does not want to have sex yet,, then it's best to decline.

 

Now here you come saying you invited her over to only watch movies and chill?

 

Or maybe it was *hoping* to have sex, even though that wasn't part of the *plan"?

 

Anyway, like I said, if she's as great as you say, then call her when you return and take it from there...

[mrldii]

OP, if "Netflix and chill" wasn't code for "let's have sexy time",

 

why are you so willing to write her off when she declined the offer and suggested something else, at another time?

 

For someone who's now insisting that you had no plan to sleep with her and that you [just] like spending time with her,

 

your conclusion that it's time to let her go comes off as if you've lost interest once she denied you a cookie on the first *magical* date after the prerequisite three dates.

 

 

Jus' sayin'.

 

 

Enjoy your trip to Florida...

[fred123]

No thats not the case. I just dont want to be played or humiliated or waste time with a girl who isnt into me thats all.

 

she told me an hour before she was going to come and people have said that if she was into me she would have still come. I dont want to pursue a lukewarm girl esp cos i think shes a great girl. Is possible she is out of my league.

[Gaeta]

No thats not the case. I just dont want to be played or humiliated or waste time with a girl who isnt into me thats all.

 

she told me an hour before she was going to come and people have said that if she was into me she would have still come. I dont want to pursue a lukewarm girl esp cos i think shes a great girl. Is possible she is out of my league.

 

And that's why men lacking confidence don't end up with the hot sexy girl.

 

Your job is to pursue her till she tells you to not pursue her !!

[Guyouthere]

When and if I invite a girl over, it won't be for sex (not until we are established).

 

So it is very wrong for women to assume all guys want only that.

 

The last woman I had here in this house, I invited her over (then she began inviting herself over), and the first time she was here, I cooked her a fish dinner, we watched a movie, and talked until 3 AM.

 

Second time, she wanted a massage, so I gave her one. I had her mostly naked under my hands and fingers only an inch away from her goods, but I respected her too and she appreciated it.

 

Only later she came to me on her own and then specifically said she wanted me to ravage her.

 

I didn't because it wasn't right.

[fred123]

And that's why men lacking confidence don't end up with the hot sexy girl.

 

Your job is to pursue her till she tells you to not pursue her !!

 

Iv been that confident guy before and women have screwed me over. I dont want to be that guy that doesnt get the message to back off.