JasmineJones Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 One of my friends told me her new man really inspires her in his zest for life, the way he lives his life and chases his dreams and his plans for the future. She also said that there'd be no point dating a man who doesn't inspire you. She said being around her bf makes her feel like life is full of possibility This got me thinking. My current bf does not inspire me. He dislikes his own life and is very dissatisfied with where he's at. He is a gentle, loyal person but I do not feel in the slightest bit inspired by him. are you inspired by your partner?
Guyouthere Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 One of my friends told me her new man really inspires her in his zest for life, the way he lives his life and chases his dreams and his plans for the future. She also said that there'd be no point dating a man who doesn't inspire you. She said being around her bf makes her feel like life is full of possibility This got me thinking. My current bf does not inspire me. He dislikes his own life and is very dissatisfied with where he's at. He is a gentle, loyal person but I do not feel in the slightest bit inspired by him. are you inspired by your partner? I wouldn't be with anyone who didn't inspire me. I am too full of life and ambition. Having someone who didn't share that, at least to a major extent, is not someone to be with at all. It is critical in a relationship, and if one lacks itm it ail eventually catch up and spell disaster. This was a major issue in my previous marriage. My ex wife wasn't as ambitious as I am, and it caused stress. It led me to continue to do the things I did, but she couldn't/wouldnt keep up and it led to us spending less time together. 1
Author JasmineJones Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 I wouldn't be with anyone who didn't inspire me. I am too full of life and ambition. Having someone who didn't share that, at least to a major extent, is not someone to be with at all. It is critical in a relationship, and if one lacks itm it ail eventually catch up and spell disaster. This was a major issue in my previous marriage. My ex wife wasn't as ambitious as I am, and it caused stress. It led me to continue to do the things I did, but she couldn't/wouldnt keep up and it led to us spending less time together. Did your wife not have any goals or dreams then?
Guyouthere Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Did your wife not have any goals or dreams then? Its hard to say. I know, sad for 15+ years of marriage, but I have to go by what we experienced…. We worked together to achieve what we both had, in careers, etc., and did well. As she got older, some inner things came out from her past, and basically lying and cheating ruined our marriage. I always knew what I wanted, and still do.
Blanco Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I've only had one girlfriend who remotely inspired me. Perhaps not unrelated, but that was easily the relationship I found the hardest to get over after it ended. She turned something as mundane as returning bottles into an event thanks to her thirst for life. In my last relationship, my now-ex's son inspired me. Even at pre-school age, he was so full of enthusiasm and positive vibes that I found it infectious. She, however, had no real enthusiasm for much. She was incredibly charming and could be engaging, but she didn't seem to desire much from life or have much of a spark about anything. I'm of the mind that even if it's a silly hobby or interest, everyone should have at least one thing that really makes them pep up.
Ami1uwant Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 What exactly is meant by inspire? Motivate? Or is it something else? In my eyes a leader inspires you...in a relationship you should be equals snd not one be dominant over the other.
Buddhist Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Hell yes! I recently met someone, he is not my partner yet. But we'll get there. But from the very first meeting I was inspired by him. He has a way about him that just screams I take on life in a meaningful way and I win. I can't get enough of that fighting spirit and ambition and desire to achieve. Now it doesn't matter to me if he win's or not, what matters is that sense of internal empowerment. I could not be with a sad sack who sits around feeling sorry for himself. It's just such a drain. I can handle people's regular ups and downs. It's no-ones job to be constantly on a high. But people who habitually make excuses for not living life? No way. My last boyfriend was very low on ambition, although he wasn't a depressive type. He just had this ridiculous fantasy about living some kind of charmed life but not actually doing anything to bring it about. It drove me bonkers because I could clearly see he was going to coast through his whole life in this state of wishful thinking while doing f-all about it. Can't handle that. 3
Author JasmineJones Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 Hell yes! I recently met someone, he is not my partner yet. But we'll get there. But from the very first meeting I was inspired by him. He has a way about him that just screams I take on life in a meaningful way and I win. I can't get enough of that fighting spirit and ambition and desire to achieve. Now it doesn't matter to me if he win's or not, what matters is that sense of internal empowerment. I could not be with a sad sack who sits around feeling sorry for himself. It's just such a drain. I can handle people's regular ups and downs. It's no-ones job to be constantly on a high. But people who habitually make excuses for not living life? No way. My last boyfriend was very low on ambition, although he wasn't a depressive type. He just had this ridiculous fantasy about living some kind of charmed life but not actually doing anything to bring it about. It drove me bonkers because I could clearly see he was going to coast through his whole life in this state of wishful thinking while doing f-all about it. Can't handle that. That's so hot
DKT3 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Its important that you have someone that can find a balance. My wife would say my drive inspired her, yet it was the same drive that put our first marriage on the road to divorce. Having a partner that can motivate you (not inspire), along with support and understand you can take your relationship a long way. Drive in the right direction over time can become the wrong directions. Most importantly, never EVER allow someones story of how great their relationship is (often they are misleading) change the view of your own. You have a good loyal man who cares for you, isn't that what's important? 2
h0000 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 (edited) Together with your other thread, that your bf is a 4 but you are a 9. You just made your bf sound like a loser and you just have so many doubts (Low self-esteem, doesn't inspire you, doesn't look good, dissatisfying career, divorced, single dad etc. etc.) If they were all true, I don't understand why you are with him. Certainly you can find someone better, right Edited October 2, 2015 by h0000
ManyDissapoint Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Together with your other thread, that your bf is a 4 but you are a 9. You just made your bf sound like a loser and you just have so many doubts (Low self-esteem, doesn't inspire you, doesn't look good, dissatisfying career, divorced, single dad etc. etc.) If they were all true, I don't understand why you are with him. Certainly you can find someone better, right Don't discourage her! We are seeing a live example of the rationalization process for dumping her boyfriend.
DKT3 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Don't discourage her! We are seeing a live example of the rationalization process for dumping her boyfriend. I was thinking the same thing. I mean what she is doing here is looking for people to confirm the decision that she has really already made. My second thought was, who is the other guy she is interested in.
h0000 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Don't discourage her! We are seeing a live example of the rationalization process for dumping her boyfriend. Maybe he will dump her first because "It's not you, it's me. And you deserve better" Bammm! LOL
h0000 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I was thinking the same thing. I mean what she is doing here is looking for people to confirm the decision that she has really already made. My second thought was, who is the other guy she is interested in. hmmm someone who scores more than 4 ?
Author JasmineJones Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 Together with your other thread, that your bf is a 4 but you are a 9. You just made your bf sound like a loser and you just have so many doubts (Low self-esteem, doesn't inspire you, doesn't look good, dissatisfying career, divorced, single dad etc. etc.) If they were all true, I don't understand why you are with him. Certainly you can find someone better, right My bf is a single dad? Really? That is certainly news to me.
SSM3 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Good question. My ex didn't inspire me at all, she actually made me bloody depressed. I never actually thought about this before I stumbled upon this. She had no drive, no real ambition or passion. Just a plodder really. My new partner, however, does. She is full of energy, zip and she definitely inspires me. She is a driven and passionate person too. If she didn't have the above, would I find her attractive? It's difficult to answer that one because she is who and what she is. But I do find her drive and energy quite refreshing. 1
regine_phalange Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I don't find it important to be inspired by my partner. If I'm happy I'm inspired. But I do need to admire them for something. Either for their personality, hobbies, skills.. especially if it's something I don't have or I can't do. 1
xxoo Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Yes, he does. It's a mutual thing, each deriving inspiration from the other. Our children inspire us, too. It's an active household with a lot of challenges and ingenuity on a daily basis. 1
BluEyeL Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 One of my friends told me her new man really inspires her in his zest for life, the way he lives his life and chases his dreams and his plans for the future. She also said that there'd be no point dating a man who doesn't inspire you. She said being around her bf makes her feel like life is full of possibility This got me thinking. My current bf does not inspire me. He dislikes his own life and is very dissatisfied with where he's at. He is a gentle, loyal person but I do not feel in the slightest bit inspired by him. are you inspired by your partner? Yes, I am. He's so smart and ambitious and is doing great with his career and he makes me want to do well too, so I'm pushing myself harder every day, to achieve more so he's proud of me. He also never complains, which I LOVE. Well, unless he has a cold...then he complains
MoreAmore Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I admire my boyfriend for who he is... But inspired by? I'm not sure I've ever met another human being I would say I feel inspired by. I don't feel I'm missing out. That motivation isn't ecternal and doesn't need to be, for me. I don't really want to inspire anyone, either.
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