Celeste.Carol Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Hi, this guy and I have had a pretty fiery relationship. He started texting at 6 am yesterday. He was really seeming to want to get into good graces and hesitantly asked me out for Sat., because he was not sure if I would say Yes. His behavior has been flakey in the past. We texted all day and I finally said okay and changed some plans to meet a friend out for Cab, which was fine because they are laid back and will have spirits with another. Well the plans at first were for him to come to my town, and I think he wanted me to cook, we both have very large gas stove kitchens, great for wining and dining, but have only been on one out date, so I wanted to go out and then back to my place. So the convo ended up going back and forth about what we do, THEN later he was questioning were one of his young teenagers would be, no other explanation. This was a reason for a flake last weekend. I wrote that he always confuses me, then the convo turned to I would be coming to his city and he would love to cook and show off his skills. Then it was up in the air where it would take place and at 8 pm, he writes, Let's talk about it tomorrow and decide. Ugh????? I did not hear anything else last night, my last text before I went to sleep early because I have personal training early, was Hey, I am not in some girl shuffle and having make or break plans according to better or easier offers. Am I ok for asking that? I mean really this flaky behavior has been going on. I am a planner and organizer, so maybe I am being too sensitive? Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 (edited) His mood about having a date with you seemed to suddenly change when you made the determination that you wanted to go out. He obviously had his mind set on staying home with you. Was this the case last time he flaked on you? Or maybe he wanted to be with you but didn't want to make the effort to come to you. Is there great distance between your cities? Edited September 12, 2015 by madjac74 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 Well when I confirmed he could come to my town, he wrote back, "You not cooking," which I thought was a joke, do not people cook when they are more in a steady relationship. Or he does not want to go out public, playing me. I take offence to this because I am highly attractive, great catch, and what the heck. Another possibility since we have been talking awhile and he was the one to come back asking for good graces again, is he wants to get closer, just us, cooking, conversation then maybe . I do not know but I will not be happy that I broke plans because he was so bummed I had other plans over Labor Day, so I switched plans around only for him to say he had his kid and was doing boys night with his son and friends?! Then now if he cancels after wooing me all day and I changed plans again! Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 How long have you been dating? You have actually been on a date together right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 I think a plus is that I share my plans for weekends with family and friends, so this will be embarrassing since they have already expressed their distaste with all this. I will feel totally foolish! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 How long have you been dating? You have actually been on a date together right? Yes we had a date and it was crazy good, like we have known each other forever, like we had never not met. We have continued contact. It was really fun, but I am getting the feeling he is a player and juggling which makes my pride go bing! We have been up and down because I am a pretty strong female who will call him out. He mentioned he liked this when we first started talking, but I like direct confirmation of plans especially when I cancel others! Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Yes we had a date and it was crazy good, like we have known each other forever, like we had never not met. We have continued contact. It was really fun, but I am getting the feeling he is a player and juggling which makes my pride go bing! We have been up and down because I am a pretty strong female who will call him out. He mentioned he liked this when we first started talking, but I like direct confirmation of plans especially when I cancel others! It doesn't necessarily mean he is juggling a bunch of women. Some people have difficulty keeping plans especially when they have kids. I know this well. BUT...until you can get to know him and his situation better, proceed cautiously and don't bother breaking any plans you have already made with others. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 It doesn't necessarily mean he is juggling a bunch of women. Some people have difficulty keeping plans especially when they have kids. I know this well. BUT...until you can get to know him and his situation better, proceed cautiously and don't bother breaking any plans you have already made with others. Yes I understand, but when you consciously make a decision to ask someone out and they change plans, you would think they respected you enough to KNOW they have a clear schedule in advance. Do you think he will be upset that my last text was, I hope that I am not in a girl shuffle, and you are making and breaking plans according to better or easier? He did not follow up after that or say night...nothing. This relationship feels to me difficult...not fun to feel like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 It's very simple. He wants to have sex. He's not interested in going out. When you mentioned going out suddenly he came up with reasons to change plans. You said you're very attractive, so dump that flake and go get yourself another man. One that is worth your time and will stick to plans. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I agree, pass on this guy. For one thing you just sound stressed out about it, so what do you suppose your future holds here? More stress. Also this is at least flake #2 from what I gather? Personally I allow that to happen exactly once, and you sound a lot like me that way, so ....out. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Well when I confirmed he could come to my town, he wrote back, "You not cooking," which I thought was a joke, do not people cook when they are more in a steady relationship. ***Or he does not want to go out public, playing me. I take offence to this because I am highly attractive, great catch, and what the heck. *** Another possibility since we have been talking awhile and he was the one to come back asking for good graces again, is he wants to get closer, just us, cooking, conversation then maybe . I do not know but I will not be happy that I broke plans because he was so bummed I had other plans over Labor Day, so I switched plans around only for him to say he had his kid and was doing boys night with his son and friends?! Then now if he cancels after wooing me all day and I changed plans again! Quote above in asterisk - if he is playing you (which appears to be the case), yes you **should** be offended but not because you are highly attractive. Being highly attractive does not give you some sort of immunity from being played. Many super attractive women get played every day. Being highly attractive does give you more options though, so dump him and go out and exercise those options... :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts