TheRock Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 I went on a date with Jen Dec. 22, 2 1/2 weeks ago and it went well. We said we want to see each other again, but haven't had a chance yet. We'd been talking almost every day since the date, up until New Years. We invited Jen to my friend's party and she invited me to hers. I had committed to my friend weeks before and told Jen this. So, we went to our own parties. After a few drinks, I decided I wasn't going to drive, so we never met up, but called & texted each other at Midnight. She called me the next day, Sunday and then on Monday. Then things went cold...Monday night I asked her out for during the week. She said she has a busy week and didn't know what night she'd be free. Prior to last Mon, she'd end her calls with "I'll talk to you tomorrow?" expecting me to call. We texted eachother once on Wed night and she said she was out w\her friends. I didn't talk to her on the phone since Mon to avoid seeming clingy I finally called her on Saturday. She returned my call. We talked, but I didn't ask her out again yet, so she wouldn't think that's the only reason I called. The attitude was cool. I don't know if she's mad about New Years, losing interest from too much phone contact or what....Does she expect me to keep chasing her\asking her out?? I don't want to seem insecure and ask her what's up or should I?? QUESTION: When should I call her again? Should I ask her to meet up for drinks one night to keep it informal or try to get a "real" date to a play or basketball game? Link to post Share on other sites
iamwalrus Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 well... you say she said she wanted to see you again... if a girl says that, it's true... unless she just SAID it, and didn't mean it... what was her "context" about seeing you again? was it phony? 90% of communication is nonverbal, they say. and... did anything happen on the date? kiss, hug... etc. cuz if she kissed you or anything, she probably wants to see you again. picture yourself in her shoes. if you willfully kissed a girl, and liked her, a few weeks later would you say screw it? and what kind of girl is she? is she sweet, nice... or is she "promiscouis", and doing it the "if you don't do what i want it's over" way? i mean, there's love, and then there's lust. if i were you, i'd ask her to hang with out w/ friends... not alone ... to see if she is just "shy" or so to speak. and when you call her... ask her to "hang" rather than "date"... or that's what i would do at least and one more thing... yes, guys and gals are different, but we all are humans. so try to put your self in her spot, and her in yours. it may help... for example... if you were her, would you feel weird if you (or she) called you? if not, then call her and ask her to hang/ whatever. also, all of the times when she said "im busy" was she just hanging with friends? because if she really likes you, would she still hang with her friends and not you? again, picture youreself in her shoes. if you were hanging with friends, and a girl you really liked called you, would you say... "Sorry, i'm hanging with friends" or would you say "guys, i gotta go, the love of my life wants to hang out." for me it would be the latter. but that's just me. just do some "studying"- (body langueage, etc.) i'm not a love expert, but thats my advice for you Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRock Posted January 10, 2005 Author Share Posted January 10, 2005 Thanks for the advice. I just find it really strange that she was very HOT for me up until last Monday night. She called and spoke w\me 3 times on that Sunday the 2nd just to talk, then Monday Night we spoke for about 30 min. and that was it. Our talks have been pretty good- A lot in common, we both laughed, the conversations lasted for 30-40 minutes each, etc. Then, all of a sudden I didn't hear from her for a week. I called her on Sat the 8th, left a VM and she called me back. The conversation seemed cool. Should I call her tomorrow ask her what's up or if something's bothering her or just wait for her to call me? I'm not good at playing "the game". I don't want to not call and have her think I'm not interested or a jerk for not calling, esp. in these days of Cell Phones. There's no excuse for not calling. Is she "Playing the game" to get me to chase her??? UGGGGHH!!!! HELP! Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 I would give her a call and ask her out for a specific date, like would you like to go out to dinner on Friday night, if she wants to go she will either say yes or say I have plans Friday night, but I'm free on Saturday. If she says something like, well I don't know I'm kind of busy lately. Then I would just say to her. Well why don't you call me when your schedule is more free and maybe we can go out then. If I really liked a girl I would find some time to go out with her no matter how busy I was. If she's constantly busy then she's probably just trying to let you down easy, or maybe try to string you a long to have a back up guy. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 you went out with a woman ONE TIME and you are calling her and texting her every day?? Have you lost your frikking mind? WTF? are you two already married so that you have to call her every day. once again a dude comes of as clingy, desperate and insecure and subsequently loses the girl. tsk tsk tsk Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRock Posted January 10, 2005 Author Share Posted January 10, 2005 So how do I fix the situation??? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Give her some time....Let her miss you and call you now. I kinda agree with Alpha...It's abit much after one date...Feelings or no feelings, 3 times in one day is ALOT but hey, if you both were into it that's great...Just give her afew days to herself...Let her think about you! I'm sure if she does really like ya and is interested she'll call. And don't ask her 'are you mad at me or avoiding me' that will just be too intense too fast and that is what scares girls off. And I'm talking from past experiences in my life as well. Open and honesty is good but not clingy and needy. Hang in there, keep busy, make a guys night out and have fun until she calls ya. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 "So how do I fix the situation???" Too late with her. You ruined it. Find someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob "So how do I fix the situation???" Too late with her. You ruined it. Find someone new. It's not ruined. Just back off and give her space. I don't think significant damage has been done here. Link to post Share on other sites
MafiaGal4984 Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Ok so she might have been freaked out a little by all the communication, and if this girl is anything like me, she was probably wondering where it was going...and if it was going anywhere at all... ...what i say is ...maybe take a day or 2 off from calling her- (i know, its hard) but trust me, when a girl thinks a guy no longer likes her, she panics...or at least wonders what has him so busy that he didnt call... ...in 2 days - call her- see what is new, but dont talk fora long time - then toss in casually - hey we should meet for drinks after work on (insert day here). You can do the rest depending on her response Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Originally posted by MafiaGal4984 ...what i say is ...maybe take a day or 2 off from calling her- (i know, its hard) but trust me, when a girl thinks a guy no longer likes her, she panics...or at least wonders what has him so busy that he didnt call... a day or two??? WTF!! try two or three weeks Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Originally posted by MafiaGal4984 Ok so she might have been freaked out a little by all the communication, and if this girl is anything like me, she was probably wondering where it was going...and if it was going anywhere at all... ...what i say is ...maybe take a day or 2 off from calling her- (i know, its hard) but trust me, when a girl thinks a guy no longer likes her, she panics...or at least wonders what has him so busy that he didnt call... ...in 2 days - call her- see what is new, but dont talk fora long time - then toss in casually - hey we should meet for drinks after work on (insert day here). You can do the rest depending on her response Good Luck I totaly agree with mafiagal. If she is interested she will call you and see why have you not called. Link to post Share on other sites
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