Celeste.Carol Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Hi I thought things were going really well with a new guy and he came back full force with the sweetest apology and NOW this after. Backstory: When we first started speaking, he knew I was busy with kids school starting and some other huge projects and he sent no less than 50-100 texts a day and at times if I did not reply back in 10 minutes I would get a follow up to his text of what are doing and it would be guess you are ignoring me. Well I DO NOT over initiate with texts etc. with him...of course after the initial wooing his texts fell back dramatically. It has been twice now that I initiated convo (everything seems to be on his terms) and he has turned and twisted things like I was not understanding his child jus started school and this last time was they were doing boy's night with friends etc. I do not know this guy's exact schedule, family dynamics and such. Yes, I can be assertive when I feel someone is duping or playing games. I apologized the next day and I got this text: NO ONE talks to me the way you try to and if that if a habit you cannot break I simply walk. I live in a drama free zone and not changing. Making this up to me would have to start on your knees in front of me really showing how sorry you were followed by learning how to talk to me in a respectful manner and this is NOT an negotiation. I was shocked and did not reply for a few hours and do not need drama in my life so I simply stated that I apologize if he took my assertiveness as disrespectful but I found his text to be so and implying that I was not of value and would even consider to lose my integrity and self respect ect. He shot a text back so fast I thought it must be auto text and said: I just sent that because I thought it would be HELPFUL to you to get a disrespectful text from me. I am completely numb today and have no desire at all to continue this. There were too many inconsistencies with what he has said esp. to the drama free zone when a few weeks prior he was speaking of an off and on again relationship that they fought so much and then broke up BUT the make up sex was amazing and fun. That to me DOES NOT sound drama free to me. I think I may just date a tree, seems less complicated.
Lois_Griffin Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Another lunatic. There are plenty out there. Not a surprise at all. Yeah, I'd be dumping this nasty douche canoe immediately. 7
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Yes I agree. I had an event yesterday and was asked out for this evening by a nice gentleman, but I feel shell shocked from this whole dating experience from this other man, that I think I will take a rain check. I need to take time for myself, my inner core feels depleted. It is difficult to explain the feeling.
Jules Dash Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Yes I agree. I had an event yesterday and was asked out for this evening by a nice gentleman, but I feel shell shocked from this whole dating experience from this other man, that I think I will take a rain check. I need to take time for myself, my inner core feels depleted. It is difficult to explain the feeling. Take the rain check but don't let that guy ruin potential candidates who have their eyes on you. He may be carrying residual and frustrations from a previous relationship and it may be easy for you to carry something negative forward from this. 2
Strahatmak Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 What did you text him? You said you feel he might be playing games. There's a possibility that your text might sound offensive to him. But nonetheless, he's not a man who can keep his cool. You may as well go for another one instead.
Art_Critic Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 That to me DOES NOT sound drama free to me. That was the first thought that came into my mind... you know what to do... 2
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 Thank you for the replies. I feel terribly down today, I guess abusive ways would tend to do that. I dodged a bullet because even in anger I cannot think of anyone else who would say that in those words to anyone!
misspond Posted September 6, 2015 Posted September 6, 2015 Don't take it personally, he sounds like an a$$. 1
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 Grrrrrr....we are talking again. I do not know what it is about this man that I am into so much. He runs his own large company and is used to being in control so his abrasiveness is normo for him. It is such a complex thing between us both fighting for some control. I have never seen nor read the book Shades of Gray but have heard bits enough and feel like it is similar in some fashion, *some of the dynamics. He did say he was on uncharted territories with me. I believe not sure if he is circular dating...I know he was dating others when I came in the picture. Does anyone know what he may have meant by uncharted territories? We are both stubborn and have clashed many times BUT end up talking again. We texted yesterday a small bit until 4, he could not drive up because of his son, but asked to take me to lunch before he leaves the country for a few weeks. The thing is he did not initiate any texts, night, nothing since 4, so I am not sure if he was on a date and has other interests. I will not initiate and see if he does any of the work. Dating is difficult...was so much easier when I was taking time to myself and not.
madjac74 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Too much clashing like you are trying to force those puzzle pieces into place when they obviously don't fit! Take a step back. Take some time to yourself and see how he reacts. If he is the "big bad boss of a large company" then he will most likely show his true colors when you take a break. 2
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 Hi madjac, yes I am definitely taking a step back, great advice. I am not looking for an insta hubbie or boyfriend, but want to take it slow and really see if there is substance. I have never asked him any questions as to where we are in the relationship or if he is dating others. He told me in the initial wooing stages he only focuses on one girl at a time but that may have been baloney. It seems like he goes in and out with communication, some days getting the good morning and goodnights...texts about what he is doing...then out and I do not get any. I believe maybe he is circular dating or in contact with others, so I am going to focus on my own things and see if he does any of the work. I will not focus on any 'ifs' if he likes me, if if if...but focus on what 'I accept,' when it comes to interest etc.
joseb Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 "NO ONE talks to me the way you try to and if that if a habit you cannot break I simply walk. I live in a drama free zone and not changing. Making this up to me would have to start on your knees in front of me really showing how sorry you were followed by learning how to talk to me in a respectful manner and this is NOT an negotiation." Honestly, unless you sent him something truly abusive, it sounds like he is a bit unstable. Stay away from him. Or maybe he has watched 50 shades of shyte and thinks that kind of line passes for flirting. Even more of a reason to avoid him. That movie was, without a doubt, the worst movie i have ever seen. 3
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 "NO ONE talks to me the way you try to and if that if a habit you cannot break I simply walk. I live in a drama free zone and not changing. Making this up to me would have to start on your knees in front of me really showing how sorry you were followed by learning how to talk to me in a respectful manner and this is NOT an negotiation." Honestly, unless you sent him something truly abusive, it sounds like he is a bit unstable. Stay away from him. Or maybe he has watched 50 shades of shyte and thinks that kind of line passes for flirting. Even more of a reason to avoid him. That movie was, without a doubt, the worst movie i have ever seen. No I was not abusive but very assertive. The man is blowing hot and cold and I am not up for these games. I am not going to be desperate and hang on. I will do my own thing if he likes me enough then he will step up his game and step up to the plate.
Lansing Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Did you get down on your knees for him? This guy sounds like bad news. YOU aren't going to make him into a respectful gentleman. Even if he started acting nice to you I feel like it would be an act until you get comfortable again with him then he would withdraw it. I think you should step back completely. 2
Omei Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 You still havent answered the question of what it was you texted him before he sent the text in your original post. I agree he sounds like a loony but I see now you've chosen to talk and connect further dispite what hes said and shown you so whatever I guess drama ahead you know what you get with him now so dont be surprised if it continues.
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 You still havent answered the question of what it was you texted him before he sent the text in your original post. I agree he sounds like a loony but I see now you've chosen to talk and connect further dispite what hes said and shown you so whatever I guess drama ahead you know what you get with him now so dont be surprised if it continues. Hi, no I understand your question, and I am not really sure exactly that it was anything I said but how direct I came across. I do not put up with any bs. He was pulling way hot and then cold and double standards with me contacting him then with him contacting me. I said nothing like what he said to me. I felt we had a connection, but maybe it is games to him. I need to move on. I tried online dating for a whopping 2 weeks, NOT FOR ME, it felt like a meat market...100 likes on just one pic, dressed not made to look sexy, with men saying whatever they choose to like HOT...so on. Too many messages to take time (I do not have hours and hours to pour and decipher all that). I am new back in the game of dating, this one was exciting, we really hit it off with meeting, like we never unmet, but maybe I should look elsewhere. I really like him but he may be playing the entire field, I need to hold my value and just let it be. He will work for it and if not then it is what it is. I hated being this confused.
clam Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 He sounds like a psycho. And a narcissist. You're better off moving on from him. 1
autumnnight Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 This is the kind of man who will be standing over you one day after stabbing you, saying something like, "Look what you made me do." RUN fast. 3
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 The guy was a player and was trying to play me plus of course with all the other issues he had, I had it! I cut loose some last words texts of pure venom and turned all his sh*t around on him. It was terrible of me, but I feel great! Redemption at it's finest hour.
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