Guy pulling away or really just exhausted with work?

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

So I started talking to this guy on a online dating app, we hit it off pretty well conversation was fun, light etc. I felt like I could be myself around him. I think 3 days off talking I asked if he wanted to do something that night (he had mentioned if I ever wanted to do something just let him know). He said yes and we went to go play pool and have a few drinks! It went beyond great! By the end of the night we had inside jokes & like we had known each other for years.

 

We only kissed that night, he did mention about coming in I said I'd love to but didn't think it was a good idea and that there was always next time. He messaged me first and in great detail told me how much he had enjoyed my company, telling me that he had more fun then he would have if he had went out with the guys (he blew pub time off with the guys). We spoke a bit the next day as we was both busy but it was all still good, he told me he liked me & I told him it was mutual. Even when I brought up a cafe I really wanted to go too he suggested we go. He invited me round his that night, even though he had work in the morning.

 

The night went great again, we joked about and more inside jokes were made. He has a thing with mimicking my phrases. A lot of eye contact, smiling, making out and heavy petting ... Even some dry humping. But no sex! He could have easily made the move too, but he held back which I was grateful for. The next day texts were a little slower as he was at work but he did bring up 'next time' however since then his replays have taking longer & he isn't as involved in our conversations anymore.

 

I've given him space, waiting for him to reply (no double texts) being the one to close some conversations down as he's been extremely tired from work & ive said to him to get an early night. He works in trade so it's a very hands on job, which includes early mornings such as 4.45am. I'm not sure if this is the reason he's being distant (when i said he seemed exhausted & run down he said he was shattered.) or if it's just a easy way to slowly fade away & if he's lost interest.

 

He hasn't been on much social media either & hasn't been on the dating app since Sunday (however went on a few hours ago.) he also sent me a message when he woke up last night when he couldn't sleep. It didn't make much sense and just told me about his situation of not being able to sleep & how he hopes I was & that his message hasn't woken me.' Which a lot of my friends say was sweet as I was the first person he thought about.

 

I've asked him if he wants to come over Friday for a take away & a chilled night, mostly to try gauge some sense if he's still interested. He said if he isn't going out with the guys, then yeah it would be really nice. (Friday's are normal pub nights with the boys). Any help I can get on this situstion? After my last relationship I'm always a bit worried if I'm reading a guy wrong. Could it be things were moving too fast for him? Or I came on too strong (I have let him know that I like him & have complimented him a bit). How do I go about this now?

[Tobin]

On your second date he could have easily made the move?

 

You need to develop some self restraint and boundaries if you want to meet a guy with whom you'll develop a lasting relationship.

 

Guys don't respect girls who are that easy.

 

Maybe he picked up on that, who knows?

[h0000]

I think it's too early to tell. So far I didnt see anything that can mean anything.

Chill.

[Redhead14]

So I started talking to this guy on a online dating app, we hit it off pretty well conversation was fun, light etc. I felt like I could be myself around him. I think 3 days off talking I asked if he wanted to do something that night (he had mentioned if I ever wanted to do something just let him know). He said yes and we went to go play pool and have a few drinks! It went beyond great! By the end of the night we had inside jokes & like we had known each other for years.

 

We only kissed that night, he did mention about coming in I said I'd love to but didn't think it was a good idea and that there was always next time. He messaged me first and in great detail told me how much he had enjoyed my company, telling me that he had more fun then he would have if he had went out with the guys (he blew pub time off with the guys). We spoke a bit the next day as we was both busy but it was all still good, he told me he liked me & I told him it was mutual. Even when I brought up a cafe I really wanted to

go too he suggested we go. He invited me round his that night, even though

he had work in the morning.

 

The night went great again, we joked about and more inside jokes were made. He has a thing with mimicking my phrases. A lot of eye contact, smiling,

making out and heavy petting ... Even some dry humping. But no sex! He

could have easily made the move too, but he held back which I was grateful

for. The next day texts were a little slower as he was at work but he did bring

up 'next time' however since then his replays have taking longer & he isn't as

involved in our conversations anymore.

 

I've given him space, waiting for him to reply (no double texts) being the one to close some conversations down as he's been extremely tired from work & ive said to him to get an early night. He works in trade so it's a very hands on

job, which includes early mornings such as 4.45am. I'm not sure if this is the

reason he's being distant (when i said he seemed exhausted & run down he

said he was shattered.) or if it's just a easy way to slowly fade away & if he's

lost interest.

 

He hasn't been on much social media either & hasn't been on the dating app since Sunday (however went on a few hours ago.) he also sent me a message

when he woke up last night when he couldn't sleep. It didn't make much

sense and just told me about his situation of not being able to sleep & how he

hopes I was & that his message hasn't woken me.' Which a lot of my friends

say was sweet as I was the first person he thought about.

 

I've asked him if he wants to come over Friday for a take away & a chilled night, mostly to try gauge some sense if he's still interested. He said if he isn't

going out with the guys, then yeah it would be really nice. (Friday's are norma

l pub nights with the boys). Any help I can get on this situstion? After my last relationship I'm always a bit worried if I'm reading a guy wrong. Could it be

things were moving too fast for him? Or I came on too strong (I have let him

know that I like him & have complimented him a bit). How do I go about this

now?

 

Dont try to read or anticipate. Sit back and observe. It does no good to try to be in his head. That is when you make " mistakes" and get panicky. He knows you are interested in seeing him on Friday. If he calls you wednesday or Thursday for Friday great. Hopefully even if the guys are getting together he will opt to see you instead. If he calls you last minute on Friday, it may mean that the guys didnt get together and you are the fall back. If he calls last minute with acceptable reason and you want to go, go ahead but dont accept another last minute date for quite some time. Dont reach out to him first now at all for any reason. Since you seem to think maybe it was moving too fast. Let him lead.

[Maggie4]

Yeah, Tobin upstairs ^ is right. If he could have, and he knows, then it's as if he did.

[SycamoreCircle]

I don't think you did anything wrong. You feel that he's pulling away. Probably because he is...pulling away. Why? No telling. Unfortunately, the ball is in his court. Try to gather some emotional distance from this---you've been on a few dates. That whole we had inside jokes by the end of the date is nonsense. I can have an inside joke with a co-worker if I set my mind to it. It's all about passing the proverbial ball around. Lately, it sounds like this guy isn't down to play. Put your emotions in check.

[HeBrokeMyHeart]

On your second date he could have easily made the move?

 

You need to develop some self restraint and boundaries if you want to meet a guy with whom you'll develop a lasting relationship.

 

Guys don't respect girls who are that easy.

 

Maybe he picked up on that, who knows?

I said he could have made a move but he didn't. I didn't say I would have accepted his advances, I just stated that he held back himself.

[angel.eyes]

Then why is your next dating suggestion come over to my place for takeout?

 

Does that sound like you're trying to resist anything?

[Leigh 87]

He's just not that into you.

 

If he was excited about you he would arrange a weekend date during the week...AKA, NOT Friday! He'd pre arrange a date for Saturday or even just during the weeknights of he was into you.

 

Men don't act chill or lukewarm or nonchalant about a woman they're truly into. They aren't always over the top either and in fact men who want to go in full blast are just as dubious in their intent as the laid back men who treat you like a casual option.

 

If he was as excited about you as he said he was after that first date in his text, he'd male it known and he wouldn't just let the week pass him by without initiating plans for a week night date or w weekend date.

 

He either lied about how interested he was in you, or after you fooled around he realised that you didn't really turn him on the way he hoped for. So... He either lied or he lost interest.

 

If he lied, about his level of interest, this is very common and I've had guys who pretended to think I was so amazing just so they could get sex and then they disapeared after they either got sex or I held off and refrained from early sex.

If he feigned interest then he'll do the slow fade but throw out out a hook just often enough to keep you interested so that he can come and get laid at his convenience. Then he'll go back to acting distant yet not totally it ignore you all of the time since he wants easy sex again.

 

If he was genuinely feeling you to start out with, then sorry but the fooling around either turned him off or he just didn't feel much chemistry when it came to making out and fooling around.

 

There is a very low chance this guy is very excited about you. You know, these same guys who are all tall and fail to deliver WILL meet a girl one day who they WILL be smitten with. They will feel the instant chemistry and connection and they will be excited about this girl enough to immediately make plans with her for once or twice a week dates. He won't make make too may sexual advances early on with the girl who he falls hard for.

 

You can stick around but I guarantee thus guy is lying or he's lost interest. INCONSISTENT behaviour is the number one indicator that a man ( or woman!) is all talk but no action. He said how great you are yet has failed to set up another date. I get that he needs to see his friends, but I believe that if he truly felt it for you, he'd ask to see you Saturday or even Sunday or during the week sometime and her take you out for a date soon.....not just DVD s and " cuddles "

[katiegrl]

He's just not that into you.

 

If he was excited about you he would arrange a weekend date during the week...AKA, NOT Friday! He'd pre arrange a date for Saturday or even just during the weeknights of he was into you.

 

Men don't act chill or lukewarm or nonchalant about a woman they're truly into. They aren't always over the top either and in fact men who want to go in full blast are just as dubious in their intent as the laid back men who treat you like a casual option.

 

If he was as excited about you as he said he was after that first date in his text, he'd male it known and he wouldn't just let the week pass him by without initiating plans for a week night date or w weekend date.

 

He either lied about how interested he was in you, or after you fooled around he realised that you didn't really turn him on the way he hoped for. So... He either lied or he lost interest.

 

If he lied, about his level of interest, this is very common and I've had guys who pretended to think I was so amazing just so they could get sex and then they disapeared after they either got sex or I held off and refrained from early sex.

If he feigned interest then he'll do the slow fade but throw out out a hook just often enough to keep you interested so that he can come and get laid at his convenience. Then he'll go back to acting distant yet not totally it ignore you all of the time since he wants easy sex again.

 

If he was genuinely feeling you to start out with, then sorry but the fooling around either turned him off or he just didn't feel much chemistry when it came to making out and fooling around.

 

There is a very low chance this guy is very excited about you. You know, these same guys who are all tall and fail to deliver WILL meet a girl one day who they WILL be smitten with. They will feel the instant chemistry and connection and they will be excited about this girl enough to immediately make plans with her for once or twice a week dates. He won't make make too may sexual advances early on with the girl who he falls hard for.

 

You can stick around but I guarantee thus guy is lying or he's lost interest. INCONSISTENT behaviour is the number one indicator that a man ( or woman!) is all talk but no action. He said how great you are yet has failed to set up another date. I get that he needs to see his friends, but I believe that if he truly felt it for you, he'd ask to see you Saturday or even Sunday or during the week sometime and her take you out for a date soon.....not just DVD s and " cuddles "

 

 

Gotta hand it to her....Leigh DOES have a point.

[Leigh 87]

Gotta hand it to her....Leigh DOES have a point.

 

And yes early sex isn't always bad. Plenty of married and long term relationships started out this way!

 

However, sadly, most of the kind and decent men who are desirable are taken andmay of the remainder are sociopathic and are devoid of rewlly caring how they get easy sex.

 

Now, the OP is obviously the sensitive type in that here she is, typing away about a guy she'd only just met. Therefore, OP cares too much to just hook up and then not care too much about the outcome.

 

Sure, Katie and others shagged the first night and are happy together years later. Congratulations!

 

But make no mistake. With the amount of sociopathic men out there who only care about getting an easy lay, it's IMPERATIVE to go into fooling around with a man early after meeting him with NO expectations!

 

Most men are genuinely after some fun and only say what you want to hear to get it. Acting different after sex is a very bad sign. Yes some men go into their " caves " and retreat, however; if they are excited about you, they sure won't hibernate for long! Men who are enamoured with a woman cannot help but make plans and initiate dates.

[smackie9]

Who dry humps? what are ya guys 14? This is weird because it is weird. He's not a man but a boy, and is acting like a child by running and hiding from you. Ditch this guy and find a real man.