Northwestgirl713 Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 So I've started to try online dating, and met this guy. We clicked so immediately it was almost scary, to both of us. We began talking on a Tuesday, made plans Wednesday to get together that Saturday, and even almost pushed up the first date we both were so excited and felt this connection. The first date went well, and he gave me a sweet kiss goodnight. We continued to talk daily, often throughout the day, and had a great second date as well. After the second date, we had some even greater kisses, before parting ways. Later, texting each other afterwards that night, we both admitted we had been wanting more than night, and that he had almost invited me back to his place but didn't want to push me into anything too soon. The following week we had our third date, and it involved a movie and cuddling and some action, although due to Mother Nature things could only progress to a certain point. We had a great evening, and he told me he'd text me the next day, and that is the last time I have seen him. We still have spoken every day, and pretty much have only been able to get together so far on the weekends due to our work schedules and slight distance between where we each live. Last week would have been date #4 had we gotten together (all dates have been on a Friday or Saturday) except due to family obligations I had prior commitments all weekend. I had suggested getting together before the weekend, although it didn't work for his schedule, and he never suggested an alternative. At first he would text me every morning to say good morning, and start our conversation for the day, and most nights texted me goodnight, or apologized the next morning for not doing so if he had fallen asleep before he could. However the past several days he has not done so, and I usually have to text him a few times before he responds. We had also both admitted to no longer talking to anyone else on OkCupid as we were both very interested in each other, although I still have people message me most days. Lately I have noticed that most of the time I get on to read the notifications, and politely decline any messages I may have received, I see he has been on recently as well. I thought nothing of it at first, as I would show as recently as being online too, due to getting on to reject those who has written to me. However the past few days I have just had his nagging feeling that he is losing interest. He isn't as quick to respond to messages, and due to my gut I have checked OkCupid and he has been online.. A lot. Last night when I suggested we get together some time this week before he goes out of town for the weekend, he replied that it sounded liked a great idea, we'd have to check our schedules, and then I have not heard from him since, which is odd considering we talk frequently each day, and it's not been almost an entire day without him replying. Especially given I know he has been on OkCupid multiple times today. I am not normally the sort of woman to feel she needs to check on someone, and feel weird for checking to see if he's been on OkCupid, but it is seeming as though he may be looking to meet other people. I mostly am just looking for advice on if I am possibly imagining this, due to previous bad luck with men who lie to me and have possibly made me not trust this new man, or if others feel I may be correct. I am very interested in this man, but I do not want to waste my time on someone who does not share my interest. Or am I reading too much into it, especially as we have now only been speaking for not quite even a month yet? I have never been one to play the dating game and date multiple people but I understand most people do. Mostly I am just seeking some guidance as I do not wish to waste my time on someone who does not want it.
rlc1957 Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 It looks like either he is a player or is playing you just a little. It is too early to trust him, you really don't even know him. You need to listen to your gut. I think you need to slow things down in the future. Be good to yourself. Don't chase this guy anymore. The guy needs to be doing the chasing, IMO. Good luck. 1
Jejangles Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Yes, he probably is losing interest. Step back, stop contacting him so much, and be open to others. Be wary of this guy if he does come back around and put the brakes on until he proves he is worth your time. You just learned something very important about online dating, which is to move slowly and be wary (without being cynical). It's great to meet someone who seems exciting but it takes time to get to know them. A lot of guys online will make sweet statements and act excited about you then flame out just as quickly. 1
RebelWithoutACause Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 admitted that he had almost invited me back to his place but didn't want to push me into anything too soon. ^This sounds like a classic player line. It's almost like something out of the player textbook. I had suggested getting together before the weekend, although it didn't work for his schedule, and he never suggested an alternative. I usually have to text him a few times before he responds. I have checked OkCupid and he has been online.. A lot. Last night when I suggested we get together some time this week before he goes out of town for the weekend, he replied that it sounded liked a great idea, we'd have to check our schedules, and then I have not heard from him since ^^These are all huge red flags. I think he was only after an easy lay and since mother nature intervened he didn't get it and now he's moving on. These player types are guys who have no skills with women and therefore follow some stupid "dating" system, and all those systems preach that sex should be had by date number so and so. And since sex didn't happen according to his strict schedule he bailed. You should stop initiating contact all together. And if he pops up at some point with a date invitation be very wary, it's probably only because his other dating pursuits are not available. 1
Zippy2000 Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 This has happened to me! I was dating a girl and the exact same thing. Fast reply to messages but after the first date her text messaging were getting longer to respond to and it became clear I was the one initiating contact. One night she sent me a huge text message saying she wasnt ready for a relationship after having a messy divorce and after 16 years of marriage she wasnt quite ready. I said to her "Hey, not to worry if youre not interested. Just say". She insisted she was telling the truth but I called her up on that as I still could see she was online. Her excuse was she was "Talking to school friends and talking nothing but teenage angst". On a dating site? LOL Anyway I didnt hear from her but GET THIS! I bumped into a colleague at work who told me his friend was dating a girl from the same dating website I as on. To cut to the chase. Turns out she was seeing my friend! Haha. Some people I guess like to keep their options open.
Amalyn Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I honestly think this guy was only after sex. The fact he text you after the second date saying he wanted to ask you back to his place is proof of it. Next time when you meet someone through OLD, take more time to get to know them. At least you didn't sleep with him though.
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