Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 The man I was dating up until yesterday was a real catch. Hot. Intelligent. Successful. He treated me the best out of ANY man I'd previously dated! All the average looking dudes that I liked didn't even give me a chance. Yet a man who was a bit better looking than me gave me a bigger chance than all the average guys combined...... He was also the best person I've dated. The nicest and most kind hearted man ever .... I'll sure miss him. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 (edited) Leigh, what happened? Edited July 20, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Awww sorry Leigh ! *big hug* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 What happened is he married? or what? Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 What happened is he married? or what? Yes please share what happened! We care. ((hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 He was the first decent man I've ever dated. He was the first "nice guy" I was super into. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 He was the first decent man I've ever dated. He was the first "nice guy" I was super into. So then why did you end it? Does not make sense.... Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Well I know that Leigh did post about how we wanted to be exclusive after two dates, always texted/called her daily, etc.. I mean I know Leigh is saying she was very into him. But I wonder if she was subconsciously turned off by how into her he was. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Well I know that Leigh did post about how we wanted to be exclusive after two dates, always texted/called her daily, etc.. I mean I know Leigh is saying she was very into him. But I wonder if she was subconsciously turned off by how into her he was. So then why is she missing him and waxing poetic about him? So confused...but I suppose when she is ready, she will tell us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 He is the first man I had amazing chemistry with and who also turned out to be a great person. He broke it off because he says he only dates girls if he believes they are a girl he can see himself potentially marrying. Initially he was super into me. I never had to question it. Then his feelings suddenly changed. He cried when he broke it off as he still had feelings for me. But just not strong enough to foresee me as a potential wife.... He felt very strongly about me initially. He said and I can tell. It must just be a case of amazing chemistry and the fact he loved my weird quirks that most men are put off or weirded out by. And that was all.. rather than a deeper thing that extends beyond the initial high of chemistry. He didn't think we clicked as magically as he initially thought. . .. .was his main reason. That and the fact he realized that his feelings had stopped growing. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Oooh ... That's horrible. I swear, people are so self centered it's unbelievable. And chances are you barely knew one another and he's making some kind of a judgment about you like that?! You're better off. Truly you are. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 He is the first man I had amazing chemistry with and who also turned out to be a great person. He broke it off because he says he only dates girls if he believes they are a girl he can see himself potentially marrying. Initially he was super into me. I never had to question it. Then his feelings suddenly changed. He cried when he broke it off as he still had feelings for me. But just not strong enough to foresee me as a potential wife.... He felt very strongly about me initially. He said and I can tell. It must just be a case of amazing chemistry and the fact he loved my weird quirks that most men are put off or weirded out by. And that was all.. rather than a deeper thing that extends beyond the initial high of chemistry. He didn't think we clicked as magically as he initially thought. . .. .was his main reason. That and the fact he realized that his feelings had stopped growing. Gosh that sucks Leigh, I am so so sorry to hear that..... You okay? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 He ended it. Because he didn't feel we clicked as magically as he first felt...... We got along very effortlessly initially and also had great and instant chemistry. .. . . He said he hadn't felt this way in a very long time. He said he wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. He wasn't sure if it was normal to have doubts. Which he didn't ha dado doubts at all until three weeks in. He said he just wasn't good with his feelings and he wasn't sure how he felt for his exes exes cause it was so long ago that he fell in love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Gosh that sucks Leigh, I am so so sorry to hear that..... You okay? Oh I am fine. Thanks soooo much for the support. I am just bummed that ALL the men I have amazing MUTUAL Chemistry with, are never the right ones. And now I know it's not just unavailable jerks that generate the butterflies. This guy was SO kind. Never had to doubt his interest. I knew when something was up though that last day he changed his mind about me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 The man I was dating up until yesterday was a real catch. Hot. Intelligent. Successful. He treated me the best out of ANY man I'd previously dated! All the average looking dudes that I liked didn't even give me a chance. Yet a man who was a bit better looking than me gave me a bigger chance than all the average guys combined...... He was also the best person I've dated. The nicest and most kind hearted man ever .... I'll sure miss him. Sorry it didn't go anywhere Leigh. If its the one I'm thinking off I thought he was not looking for anything serious in his profile. May not exactly apply to your situation but lots of good looking guys will date down but with the intention of nothing serious. My female friends who date a lot on OLD or even from meeting guys out & about seem to date quite a few good looking & successful guys that they have fond memories of but none of them were getting LTRs. Its far an away flings and FWBs. Not being nasty to you & I don't know the reason it didn't work out, but sure a good looking guy will give lots of women a chance if there is no commitment & sex. If the guy is good he will be charming and will show the women a good time and leave her feeling good, but will have an exit strategy in place. A few I've known will sabotage the budding relationship so the woman will never have realized he was not looking for anything serious. They only know the guy superficially. Hey average looking guys can still do the same, but less inclined if they think they struck it good with the woman. There is a tendency to view relationships/dates with hot prospects with rose colored glasses. You see it all the time, people putting up with crappy behavior or not being a priority in their life or getting cheated on or just having things be kept casual or ignoring red flags because they are crazy over the person. Looks are not the only attractor but for most people its the primary attractor. Studies show we ascribe (unfounded) positive attributes to people who are more attractive. Its human nature. Gaeta has taken flak for this thread but I think its cool that she openly admits giving guys a re chance that she thinks are below her match looks or success wise. From what I've heard and read over the years I thought women did better if they married a little below in looks, as the guy appreciated them more. Even though this thread is about the opposite I do think that's the way it works more often than not. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 He texted me soon after we broke up. Asking if I was ok. Then today he texted me. Asking if I was OK. He said he wasn't doing too well...He felt sad over us ending. He told me the sex was mind blowing and the chemistry unreal. Well thanks mate, why on earth end it then ?!! Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 He texted me soon after we broke up. Asking if I was ok. Then today he texted me. Asking if I was OK. He said he wasn't doing too well...He felt sad over us ending. He told me the sex was mind blowing and the chemistry unreal. Well thanks mate, why on earth end it then ?!! Fear! Fear of intimacy. Fear of commitment. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Fear! Fear of intimacy. Fear of commitment. He said he wasn't good with feelings. Yet proved to me he sure had them. He was a big softie at heart. Lovely guy. He did say he felt scared when we met. Because of how he felt for me. Trust me I would love to believe that he broke it off due to being "scared " of his feelings! But we all know he probably just wasn't that into me ENOUGH to warrant a relationship.. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 He said he wasn't good with feelings. Yet proved to me he sure had them. He was a big softie at heart. Lovely guy. He did say he felt scared when we met. Because of how he felt for me. Trust me I would love to believe that he broke it off due to being "scared " of his feelings! But we all know he probably just wasn't that into me ENOUGH to warrant a relationship.. I don't know hon.....people have ISSUES. Things are not always so black and white. But you may be right.....but then again maybe not. Sounds like he still really cares though. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Oops. Sorry Leigh wrong thread for my prior post. Link to post Share on other sites
yajiuma Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Just be glad that he was honest enough to end things fairly early in the relationship and not let it drag on wasting your time and letting you become more emotionally attached. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 He does fear intimacy and getting hurt. He made that clear. He was afraid of getting hurt but who isn't! He just didn't feel strongly enough about me to think " she could really be it!" I get it. I DO know a man who had just gotten out of a long relationship. He wanted to be single. He avoided dating. Yet when he met my friend he fell so so hard for her that he couldn't NOT have a relationship with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 I'm truly sorry you are hurting. I always tell my children that the ones who can't love us enough to stick around are better in the past so there is room for those who can. You are going to be just fine, next adventure, Grumps 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mongo Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 He is the first man I had amazing chemistry with and who also turned out to be a great person. He broke it off because he says he only dates girls if he believes they are a girl he can see himself potentially marrying. Initially he was super into me. I never had to question it. Then his feelings suddenly changed. He cried when he broke it off as he still had feelings for me. But just not strong enough to foresee me as a potential wife.... He felt very strongly about me initially. He said and I can tell. It must just be a case of amazing chemistry and the fact he loved my weird quirks that most men are put off or weirded out by. And that was all.. rather than a deeper thing that extends beyond the initial high of chemistry. He didn't think we clicked as magically as he initially thought. . .. .was his main reason. That and the fact he realized that his feelings had stopped growing. um what? potential wife? yet there was magical chemistry? his feelings stopped growinggg?? this guys a squirrel. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 I don't know hon.....people have ISSUES. Things are not always so black and white. But you may be right.....but then again maybe not. Sounds like he still really cares though. Oh he definitely cares. I guess his feelings changed so abruptly. .. He said he felt very strongly for me. He was definitely very excited about dating me at first. The strange thing is, he did mention early on that he doesn't like the idea of having an instant relationship because "feelings change " He pretty much lost interest in all other women immediately. He was intrigued by me, asked to be exclusive right after date two (although explicit stating that it still wasn't a relationship) He cared about me and other men. I went out once and he said he felt weird and a little off a out it and needed reassurance. Which I gave him and then he was fine .....but the idea if me with other me irked him the way it usually would in a relationship context ? If that makes any sense. Link to post Share on other sites
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