daterhater Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 My friend and I were discussing this and I'm curious as to what you all think. I'm a rather introverted, shy person. He's outgoing....a complete extrovert. I've heard that shy people need outgoing people to balance the relationship out. That two shy people together won't work. I've also heard the opposite. That if you put two shy people together, they work better because they understand one another.... same with two outgoing people. In your opinion, what does and doesn't work? shy + shy = ? outgoing + shy = ? outgoing + outgoing = ? It makes me wonder if the role of bestfriend turned out to be an outgoing person, I'd be better suited dating an outgoing guy, but the guys I've been attracted to as of lately have been shy. I'm just super afraid of having the first few dates having so much awkward silence we both think we're incompatible. Is it worth waiting for one of us to open up or do the shy people of this world need to date outgoing people to MAKE them open up sooner and more often? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Originally posted by daterhater shy + shy = ? Two people who connect based on their own insecurities, they reinforce each other's fears. outgoing + shy = ? A relationship in which one person totally dominates the other person, difficult to end gracefully. outgoing + outgoing = ? It'd never work, they'd bug the crap out of each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author daterhater Posted November 15, 2004 Author Share Posted November 15, 2004 that means NOHTING would work Link to post Share on other sites
DJ_Dork Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker Two people who connect based on their own insecurities, they reinforce each other's fears. A relationship in which one person totally dominates the other person, difficult to end gracefully. It'd never work, they'd bug the crap out of each other. Yup. If two people are shy at doing things , what makes you think a relationship will work out if both of them are shy? Friendship maybe but not relationship. And obviously a relationship in which one dominates another is not a healthy one. It's not the simple issue of opposite Extro with Intro but the issue of personalities complementing/supplementing another. Look up Meyers Briggs for deeper Intro/Extro personality matching. Link to post Share on other sites
Author daterhater Posted November 15, 2004 Author Share Posted November 15, 2004 I think two shy people can work as long as one of them is able to make the first move. My parents were both very quiet growing up and now they've been married happily for the past 25 years. My grandparents were also both quiet and now they're in their late 90's....still happily married. I was playing a show at a venue a while ago and this guy I recognized from Spin magazine walked into the venue. I was awe struck for obvious reasons and couldn't help glancing at him while I was playing. After the show he came up to me. We talked a while. We were both tipsy. Conversation flowed because of this. After this, we tried going on a couple dates. I wanted things to work out with him and thought they could. I thought there was an interesting guy under all of the quietness. But, it turns out he wasn't quiet because he was insecure. He was quiet because he had little to say and just wasn't a very interesting person. Shy people will open up when they become comfortable around a person and their insecurities leave. However, often times it's hard to break through when each person needs the other to help them break through., Link to post Share on other sites
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