broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Jamie, Today is your day. It's a day for beautiful women. Especially you. - Robbie We're not dating, just talking. She went off to college a short time after we met. We talk all day, every day. I'm sending her 2 dozen of her favorite roses and some gifts, and need something for the card. An alternative would be... Jamie, Your smile is the most beautiful I've ever see. With one smile you changed my life. It's so beautiful, I can scarcely look. I hope this makes you smile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Both are over the top for a women you are not dating. The 2nd is better. Saying Valentine's Day is her day sounds almost mean since you are not her BF. If I got a card like that & I was unhappy about being single (I'm not saying she is but if) I would be annoyed & it would feel like the guy is rubbing it in. I would also wonder why he didn't have the backbone to ask me out. Any chance you can actually spend Valentine's Day with her? That would be better. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) How about: Jamie, You're kinda freaked out by the gifts and all those flowers. Amirite? Don't worry about that, I got everything on sale. The only thing you need to be worried about is me, because I love you baby!"Dude, are you kidding? Two dozen red roses and gifts to a girl away at college who you're not even dating? You're going to scare her into the witness protection program, unless she REALLY, REALLY likes you already, which is unlikely, given that you've just met her and all you've done is talked. If you're able, tone it way down. Edited February 11, 2015 by mightycpa 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 That's what I get for skimming. OMFG DO NOT send her 2 dozen roses. No. No. No. A thousand times NO!!!!!!!! Sending roses to a woman you are not dating makes you look like a desperate psycho who has no boundaries & doesn't have a clue about appropriate social behavior. It will not make her date you. It will make her run as the other poster pointed out. You can send her 1 card that says Happy Valentine's Day. That's it. Nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
Nolan 93 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes thats a lil too much for someone who is not you're gf. Me I would go to walmart and buy those sugar heart candies, for about twenty five cents lol. I kid lol, but seriously maybe it is best not to do anything you know? She is away at college, and unless you guys are slowly talking maybe. But if not then I wouldn't do anything. Its just another day out of the year, and to me you should treat your significant other like this everyday lol. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 You can send her 1 card that says Happy Valentine's Day. That's it. Nothing else. That would be my opinion too. Roses and gifts??? YOU ARE NOT DATING, you are her friend and friends sending roses and gifts is over the top on VD. That is only done in sympathy if someone is having a bad time and even then can be unwelcome. If you want to date her, ask her out. Showering her with this rubbish on VD, is nonsensical, and will not score you any brownie points. She can only say no to a date, and if she does, you can save your money for someone who does want you. Courage. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Jamie, Today is your day. It's a day for beautiful women. Especially you. - Robbie We're not dating, just talking. She went off to college a short time after we met. We talk all day, every day. I'm sending her 2 dozen of her favorite roses and some gifts, and need something for the card. An alternative would be... Jamie, Your smile is the most beautiful I've ever see. With one smile you changed my life. It's so beautiful, I can scarcely look. I hope this makes you smile. I think both messages are sweet. Does she like you the same way? They probably will be better received if she's feeling the same way you are. If she's not, then just tell her to have a happy V Day. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 It's way over the top....two dozen roses and gifts? that's a bit....excessive to say the least. Plus, you're setting the bar pretty damn high even if you were dating...what's for next year? (assuming there was one) 4 dozen roses, a pony and a diamond necklace? I think you've been watching one too many love stories...this isn't the movies and I'm not sure how well received this gift extravaganza/bonanza are going to go over for a girl you're not even dating, haven't been intimate with and seems more like a possible one-sided crush that she may not even be aware of more than anything. I think you first need to ask yourself if she feels the same way about you or is this just a fantasy all created within your own mind and you're taking this whole "relationship" you think you have, to a whole other romantic level...because this could pretty much blow her away, and not in the way you want it...it might actually creep her out and scare her, it just depends on how close you guys really are and feel. If you are really are confident in her feelings for you and you've had all your little gushy gush smoochy smooch talk, a small gift is the most I would do and maybe some flowers but roses aren't necessary...I think a small gift and a card would be much more appropriate, I think anything more than that is too much and even that is a bit much but at least you can put in the card something like... "Just wanted to let you know someone thinks you're special this Valentines Day" Something simple and not such a overwhelming profess of your "love". I get you're really over the moon for this girl, but you need to contain and control your emotions before they blind you completely and you end up looking like a psycho. Link to post Share on other sites
DaniG Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I agree man, second message, and you have to go step by step. You're not yet dating, you have to go step by step. Sending flowers etc isn't justified if you don't have some intimacy and the clear willingness (even if it's indirect) on her part to move to the next level, you have to first get there. She won't see you as "wow my lover!!!". She will see you as a needy over-protective guy who isn't capable of just having fun and asking her out in her face. But don't worry man, just by avoiding that you're golden. Send the 2nd message and don't hesitate to ask for the next move. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 Sorry, I don't think that I properley explained the situation the first time 'round. I'm definitely involved in a courtship with this young woman. We're not just friends, but moving toward a romatic relatiinship. Possibly. But soon after we met she moved about 13 hours away to college. I believe that's what stopped things from progressing. She has admitted she is attracted to me, has alluded to a future together, says she has feelings for me, is very emotionally intimate etc. She knows i developed a lot of feelings for her very quickly. I'm not into playing games. Not into feigning disinterest in some kind of cat and mouse game. I'm going to lay it on the line and express my true self. I'm over the top. I'm sappy and sentimental. I crush hard and love harder. I'm very romantic and emotional. I'm not going to hide it. If she doesnt like that, ill not regret showing it. Ill just keep being me until i find someone who appreciates my weirdness. But, it is a day meant for courting. It's meant for grand, romantic gestures. And, hoepfully, a day a young pretty girl can walk through her dorm with the most gigantic, expensive boquet and feel beautiful and wanted and proud. Link to post Share on other sites
DaniG Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 You're confusing a personality trait (having a tendency to...) with being extremely needy. It is great to have a tendency towards romance. Great! But what you're saying is equivalent to "I just want to eat cake all day and hopefully life will reward me with a metabolism that burns all the fat". Women (yeah I can generalize in this case) aren't attracted AT ALL to neediness. Having an unconditional crush kills attraction by definition. It's sad that I can't link because I have the perfect post that will open your eyes. I'm saying all this to help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 I am needy. Yeah, most women arent attracted to that. Oh well. But it really makes me feel good to express myself through grand, over the top gestures. I look at it like, i want to make her feel good and special. If i accidentally creep her out or turn her off, oh well. Life goes on. If i make a misstep, i want it to be my misstep, not because i followed the advice of folks on a messageboard, or some article written by a pua. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 But, it is a day meant for courting. Yes. It's meant for grand, romantic gestures. No. The grand, romantic gestures are for those *IN* the relationship. Tone it down considerably or you will scare the girl away. Not red roses, but a nice floral arrangement is fine. No gift. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DaniG Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes. No. The grand, romantic gestures are for those *IN* the relationship. Tone it down considerably or you will scare the girl away. Not red roses, but a nice floral arrangement is fine. No gift. Couldn't agree more. It's one thing not to care about the consequences. That's being confident and a go-getter. But then another thing is asking for advice and doing whatever you want Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I don't think flowers are necessarily a bad idea, just not roses. Send something more innocent, and just have them accompanied with a card with something thoughtful and not too overly romantic. Don't come off as needy, women hate that... You're able to get acquainted with this woman on some level which is supposed to be the hardest part - at this point you're your own worst enemy =P Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Much too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 I'm just gonna do me. If it blows up in my face, oh well. The internet pessamists will be delighted to say i told you so. I did cancel the chocolates and considering one dozen roses instead. The gift is very thoughtful and is already being shipped to the florist. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I'm just gonna do me. If it blows up in my face, oh well. The internet pessamists will be delighted to say i told you so. I did cancel the chocolates and considering one dozen roses instead. The gift is very thoughtful and is already being shipped to the florist. Dude, seriously if you're going to do it, pick something BESIDES roses... Roses would be more appropriate if you were exclusive or close to it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Dude, seriously if you're going to do it, pick something BESIDES roses... Roses would be more appropriate if you were exclusive or close to it. Yes, yes, yes... So you've got the gift already: Fine. But roses are for LOVERS and exclusivity. Change the flowers to something that would segue towards roses in the future. Remember, part of the art of seduction is enticing the other and building-up towards the big moment. No one wants an orgasm in the first 90 seconds! The build-up is half the fun and by stomping right in with red roses, you are destroying the fun for the girl as well! A colorful bouquet of daffodils or something with a lot of color will be more engaging and would probably interest her more and make her question: "Hmmmm.... maybe he likes me - maybe this could turn into something!" But red roses off the bat will be over-the-top and scare her. I am not a PUA! I'm a woman who knows these things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 The roses are already ordered. Her favorite variant. It's done. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I am needy. Yeah, most women arent attracted to that. Oh well. But it really makes me feel good to express myself through grand, over the top gestures. I look at it like, i want to make her feel good and special. If i accidentally creep her out or turn her off, oh well. Life goes on. . Who is this all about you? or her? Seems to me, the grand gesture is all about you, and that if I am honest is really creepy too. If i make a misstep, i want it to be my misstep, not because i followed the advice of folks on a messageboard, or some article written by a pua. What PUA? Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 It's about me and her. Also, i'll direct you toward mr wilde's quote. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 OP, keep in mind you came here and asked us for advice. Pretty much everyone told you NOT to do what you did. Why did you come here for advice if you weren't going to follow it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) Re-read my original post. I asked about what to put on the card. I'm more than willing to consider other's advice, and you all may very well be right. Such is life. We live, and make mistakes, and learn and grow. Edited February 11, 2015 by broken2828 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 You are doing something that's quite socially inappropriate with the roses and people are telling you this so you don't embarrass yourself. Do you even know if she likes roses? She might not. This is the classic "nice guy" routine of attempting to buy love from someone. Don't go ballistic when she doesn't respond positively. She doesn't owe you anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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