AVarma Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I've been on a few dates the past month. Nothing serious so far but I'm hoping to have sex soon. One thing that has been on my mind is whether or not I should tell the girl I'm with that I'm a virgin before we have sex (if we ever do)? Is it something that I should tell her or is it better for me to just do it and never say anything? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Nope. Keep quiet about it... Just experience and learn. And know that for many people the first time is never that good anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Have you kissed her yet? have you even kissed a girl yet??? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 BTW don't believe everything you hear. Just because you have 3 or 4 dates doesn't mean sex is eminent. Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Nope. Keep quiet about it... Just experience and learn. And know that for many people the first time is never that good anyway. well, it was good for 1/2 of us my first time. HAHAHAHAHAHA :lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author AVarma Posted December 3, 2014 Author Share Posted December 3, 2014 Have you kissed her yet? have you even kissed a girl yet??? BTW don't believe everything you hear. Just because you have 3 or 4 dates doesn't mean sex is eminent. No I haven't. I'm hoping to get the kiss soon and the sex soon after. That's why I'm asking if I should say something should I find myself in a potential situation with a girl. Or should I just stay quiet and do it. And yes I realize sex may not be imminent but hell just in case I want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 be as quiet as a mouse about it... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
taryntan Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 BTW don't believe everything you hear. Just because you have 3 or 4 dates doesn't mean sex is eminent. Yep. In fact Ive learned to be wary of men I meet online that have little experience in dating because they tend to overemphasize sex and expect it earlier than I want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillmind Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Be confident and go in for the kiss! 3-4 dates is more than enough time for a kiss at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AVarma Posted December 3, 2014 Author Share Posted December 3, 2014 (edited) Yep. In fact Ive learned to be wary of men I meet online that have little experience in dating because they tend to overemphasize sex and expect it earlier than I want. When exactly should one expect sex then? After how many dates? Edited December 3, 2014 by AVarma Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 BTW don't believe everything you hear. Just because you have 3 or 4 dates doesn't mean sex is eminent. what a downer. Smackie, most of the time you're so chipper. Link to post Share on other sites
Dallers Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Watch lots of porn. Lead with confidence. You have been having sex for years as far as she is aware and when she compliments how good you are brush it off as heard many times before. Personally 3-4 dates is more than enough if you reach the 5th she might be wondering if you are actually interested. Make a gentle approach to move things to the next stage IMO as she might be testing you. Enjoy Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 When exactly should one expect sex then? After how many dates? Don't play this game. Sometimes, I have ****ed on the first day meeting someone (rare) and some times, I have on the first or second date. One girl, I dated for 4 months before we boned. Each girl, and less stereotypical, each person, has their own pace and which they want things to progress. I know some girls will bone a dude in a couple dates that they have no interest in, but then if they like a guy, make him wait over a month. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 When exactly should one expect sex then? After how many dates? The point is that one should never EXPECT sex after a certain time because every relationship and scenario is different. You are putting the cart before the proverbial horse and it will backfire tragically. For some people there is sex on the first date. For some after three. Heck, read these threads about people who had sex too soon and it ruined a potentially great relationship. And read others where people lament that the sex didn't happen. The important part is that you communicate with the other partner about it instead of just "expecting" it to happen. There is nothing wrong with saying something like, "I would like to talk about exclusivity and taking our relationship to the next step." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
taryntan Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 When exactly should one expect sex then? After how many dates? I would not expect sex by date 3 or 4. Every girl is different and some will make you wait awhile. I purposefully make guys wait a month, preferably longer especially if the guy hasn't communicated or opened up a lot so I know they are actually interested in me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AVarma Posted December 3, 2014 Author Share Posted December 3, 2014 I would not expect sex by date 3 or 4. Every girl is different and some will make you wait awhile. I purposefully make guys wait a month, preferably longer especially if the guy hasn't communicated or opened up a lot so I know they are actually interested in me. Alright then. Say you were dating a virgin and were about to have sex would you want to know he was a virgin? Or would it be better to just have sex without saying anything? Would you feel betrayed if you found later he was a virgin and didn't tell you about it? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Alright then. Say you were dating a virgin and were about to have sex would you want to know he was a virgin? Or would it be better to just have sex without saying anything? Would you feel betrayed if you found later he was a virgin and didn't tell you about it? I was dating a guy who didn't tell me he was a virgin. I didn't find out for some time and I did not feel betrayed at all; I felt astonished and pretty impressed, actually, at the stuff he did. The whole "virgin" thing is a bigger deal to YOU than it is to anyone else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AVarma Posted December 4, 2014 Author Share Posted December 4, 2014 I was dating a guy who didn't tell me he was a virgin. I didn't find out for some time and I did not feel betrayed at all; I felt astonished and pretty impressed, actually, at the stuff he did. The whole "virgin" thing is a bigger deal to YOU than it is to anyone else. If you don't mind me asking, how old was he when he lost his virginity? Link to post Share on other sites
taryntan Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 It wouldn't bother me as long as I didn't feel like you were in it for sex Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Nah, you don't have to tell her unless she specifically asks. Also you do not 'expect' it after a certain amount of time - it depends entirely on the two people involved and should happen organically. Do not pressure her for it. In the meantime it wouldn't hurt to educate yourself about women's sexuality and how to pleasure them. If you do a great job, there's a good chance the whole virginity thing won't matter! I noticed some people suggesting porn - that might work but it really depends on the sort of porn you're watching, it can really backfire on you. I would suggest instead reading the-clitoris.com (with the dash) - IMO the information there is essential for everyone, not just virgins. And there was a member here, ThaWholigan, who knocked the socks off his girl on his very first sexual encounter - if he's willing you could talk to him about how he learnt it. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 There is absolutely no reason to tell her. none. zippo. notta. There is nothing that can be gained by that disclosure but a lot that can be screwed up. Your prior sexual experience or lack there of is no business of hers. It's simply none of her business. There is never any valid reason to disclose anything about prior sexual experiences. People will try to tell you that there is and that people should be open and honest, but it always comes back to bite them in the ass. What you have done or not done in the privacy of your bedroom before you meet someone is your private business and no one else's. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 If you don't mind me asking, how old was he when he lost his virginity? 22, if memory serves... Link to post Share on other sites
greenman77 Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 22, if memory serves... And how old were you if you don't mind me asking? I'm 22 and in the same situation. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 If you are virgin over the age of 20 shut up about it. Sex is natural. You don't have to announce your status beforehand. Unlike some men who relish "getting there 1st" most women will back away; they don't want the pressure of being your 1st time. If they find out later that is what happened, that's OK but not before. If things are awkward, she'll be more likely to assume you two don't have enough experience with each other rather than you have no experience at all. There are no set # of dates before sex happens. Some people do it on or before the 1st date. Others wait until marriage & there is a whole spectrum in between. If you haven't kissed yet, assume it will be months before sex happens. If it's faster than that, great, good for you. But if you expect a long wait you won't be disappointed. For, now kiss her, already. 4 dates is a long time for that not to have happened yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Dude, you are seriously gonna give yourself an ulcer over all this....I have read all your other post. So are you 22 or 28? Link to post Share on other sites
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