UltimaWeapon Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) Hey everyone, I had a vacation planned to Europe for this past month and before I left I started talking to this amazing girl. We are both 24. We started talking 3 days before I was suppose to leave so the timing was kinda off because I wanted to see her but I had to wait. So I told her I really enjoyed talking to her and I would love to see her when I come back. She told me she had a great time too and that she would like that. I gave her my number so she can have it and I told her I would try to keep in contact with her as much as possible over there so we could talk because I wanted to show her I truly wanted her. 6 hour time difference also had an impact on when we could talk to each other but I managed to make it work. She gave me her number after as well. We hit it off great, we talked everyday, exchanged messages. She told me she has never felt like this before about a guy Told me she couldn't wait for me to come back and that I shouldn't have left We even talked on the phone for a good 5-6 hours in total while I was over there. She even said she wanted to come pick me up at the airport when I came back. She sent me pictures of herself all the time.asked for me to send pictures. Told me its been too long n she wanted to see me already. Told her mom about me, etc However, since I have been back (its been 7 days now) she hasn't really made an effort to want to see me. Granted she works 5 days a week approx 8-9 hours so she is done late at night. but she has time after to hang out for a bit because she made plans to hang out after work 4 days in a row but has flopped!! Why make plans if you know you wont be able to make them? She even told me its not that I do not want to see you it just its hard when you work. I said OK its fine. The thing is I am just not getting the same vibe anymore. I don't know what it is. She seems more distant, cold and reserved. I can get all this through text messages. Her: Whats the plan? Me: Finish up at work- get ready and we can meet downtown Her: Okay It will take me about an hour Me: Its fine. Her: I am home now Me: Okay are you getting ready? Her: No I am not. I feel bad I will only get to see you for an hour if I come now. Me: Its fine. I just want to see you since I have been waiting too for so long now. Her: You can see me tomorrow before work Tomorrow rolls around: she doesn't even bring up the fact she said that last night. You see what I mean? Its been like that past 4 times. What is her deal? (We are supposedly suppose to hang out tonight- again really FLAKY) because she told me she would see when shes free. Even though she doesn't work today. This has been the same scenario now for the past week. I am getting really fed up with this. Why would she be acting like this? She constantly texts me and still makes conversation but its just a drastic difference to what I am use too. Because she made it seem like she couldn't wait to see me..and now when I am back..she doesn't act like she cares. She also has declined calling me on the phone since I have been back 2 times. But when I was over there she would ask me if she could call me!! So I truly don't understand :/ She even told me a few days ago she told her girlfriends about me.. She knows I also got her flowers for when we were suppose to hang out (because the day I came back was her birthday )and she still hasn't made an attempt to want to see me because she cancelled 4 times now. So can someone tell me why she would act like this? She told me she does want to see me but I feel like if she truly did. out of these past 7 days she would have made time to see me even at least for an hour. Especially if we have been talking constantly for over way over a month..everyday!! The Atlantic Ocean is not separating us anymore. *** This is the same exact scenario that happened with my ex of 4.5 years after I left on vacation for 17 days and I came back she became more distant and cold and was always busy and did not want to hang out. What was the real reason: She found someone else and left me for him after. So this feeling of being constantly busy and not having the ability to make time is all too familiar for me right now and It's a horrible feeling to have because I had great expectations coming back from vacation to see this girl. *** Am I wrong in thinking this or? Edited August 4, 2014 by UltimaWeapon
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) Anyone have any idea..What should I Do She asked me if I was mad and stuff and said shes sorry its not that she doesn't want to see me. N said " You see how hard it is with me :// ?" whatever that's suppose to mean I haven't confronted her about it yet but I am getting extremely annoyed and pissed off and feel like an idiot because I took the time out to get her flowers for when I would see her and a present from overseas that I brought with me to give to her and she hasn't been able to make time and acts as if nothings wrong lol Edited August 4, 2014 by UltimaWeapon
clia Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I don't blame you for feeling annoyed. She is being a total flake. Millions of people manage to work 8-9 hours a day five days a week and still do things after work, so her excuse is kind of silly. Have you actually met her in person?
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 I know of her from before through different parties and gatherings but no we haven't hung out one on one ever.
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 I don't blame you for feeling annoyed. She is being a total flake. Millions of people manage to work 8-9 hours a day five days a week and still do things after work, so her excuse is kind of silly. Have you actually met her in person? I knew of her before from different parties and gatherings around the city but no we have never hung out one on one. This is why I am extremley annoyed. You don't go from saying I can't wait till you are back to completely flaking 4 days in a row?
Elle1975 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I'd let it go. She may have changed her mind or she may have met someone else. Anyway, I'd stop making excuses for her. I worked 5 days a week 9 hours a day, and I was able to date just fine. 3
smackie9 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Biggest red flag is when she said "She has never felt like this before about a guy". You never believe this crap, you have never been out on a date yet for sh it sake. Red flag: your investment in this girl. You haven't even been out on a date and you are acting like you are in a relationship, getting pissy about 4 cancelled dates. You should have stopped at two and called it a day instead of calling her out on it. If it doesn't feel right then it's not. She's blown you off 4 times, not worth the energy to even be here posting about it. Ditch the b itch. 3
johnson_j Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Forget her. Don't contact her at all, when she says she wants to see you, you tell her "My house is at XXX come by if you want to visit". She's playing games and nothing good is going to come out of this. A girl I met OLD recently did something like this to me. Met before I went to vacations, we txted throughout, etc. Met in person first w/e I was home, had high chemistry. 2nd date was equally well. 3rd date she flaked, 4th date she txted saying she was going to be late. I told her just to stay at home and forget it all. Let's just say that lit a fire under her and I got the full girlfriend experience that night. Tell her to "bug off".
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 This girl is boiling my blood. I am legit so annoyed by her actions its unbelievable. I haven't told her anything yet. She texts and talks to me everyday if she wasn't interested why would she continue to make plans with me n than flake?? I do not understand what is with these games!!!!!
morbot_k Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 This girl is boiling my blood. I am legit so annoyed by her actions its unbelievable. I haven't told her anything yet. She texts and talks to me everyday if she wasn't interested why would she continue to make plans with me n than flake?? I do not understand what is with these games!!!!! Shouldn't boil your blood. She's losing interest. It happens. Sometimes you lose interest in someone, right? She might not be completely sure, but she is making excuses. The one thing is for sure, the more you chase, the more she will run away. Don't get mad. Just put yourself in her shoes. If a girl you had liked and started dating goes on vacation and for whatever reason you aren't feeling it as much, what would you want? You'd want space! Whether it's to explore the other potential relationships or just to mull it over. You're not dead in the water yet, but it's close. Not much you can do here, except at the very least, show you are a strong man and that she can't upset you with her flakiness. Tell her you understand her job is tough. Tell her though that you sense she's not as into you as before your trip. Tell her to take a week and think about it and get back to you if she still feeling it.
deathandtaxes Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Flake once, shame on you. Flake twice, shame on me. Four times? WTF are you doing, OP?? 3
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 Flake once, shame on you. Flake twice, shame on me. Four times? WTF are you doing, OP?? I gave her the benefit of the doubt because all 4 of those times she was working till 11 30 PM at night. and she told me it had nothing to do with not seeing me its just hard to make plans when she comes back home late. She told me after the 4th time that wen she is free MONDAY AND TUESDAY I will have her both days. Why would she say this and continue to play games?
deathandtaxes Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I gave her the benefit of the doubt because all 4 of those times she was working till 11 30 PM at night. and she told me it had nothing to do with not seeing me its just hard to make plans when she comes back home late. She told me after the 4th time that wen she is free MONDAY AND TUESDAY I will have her both days. Why would she say this and continue to play games? Because you kept talking to her after the second, third, and fourth flakes... 1
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 I worked two jobs, one of them I worked til 2am and still had np meeting up with a guy for a late night meal or drinks at a friends house. Again ditch her.....
Assasda Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 The first thing that came to my mind after reading this, is that you got too needy and drove her away. I hope thats not the case
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 5, 2014 Author Posted August 5, 2014 (edited) We were suppose to make plans last night and I Asked her what was the plan she told me she had Mondays off and suddenly she worked in the morning. N after work she had to go sign papers for this other job she has comin up. Point is she told me if she got some sleep we could see each other if not Tomorrow night. I lost it at that point and basically told her I am not getting the vibe you want to see me at all and said if I am wrong please tell me. She's like seriously ? it's not like I have been chilling I have work and a lot of other stuff I have to take care of. And she's like ye I kno you have been back it's not that I don't want to see you it's just I had all these other things. She's like I don't see where the rush is ? I got really pissed off at that statement considering I have been talking to her for over a month. And while i was on vacation kept in contract everyday.. if she wasn't interested she wouldn't continue to text me everyday. She told her mom about me and all her friends.. And kept in contact everyday while on vacation. Flirting and saying she can't wait to see me. I brought alll this up and she just said she's been busy and that's the only reason. I told her I understand that she's busy but I want some concrete plans because it's been the same thing day in day out. MAkes plans n than flakes. I told her how it looks and how it gives me the vibe she isn't interested. I also asked if there was any other reason. And she said no there isn't. I am done asking her to hang out. it's Tuesday today and I kno she doesn't work. I am gona wait for her to text me first and to see if she will make any plans to hang out. I don't understand what games she is playing? Is she playing hard to get to see if I am truly serious about her or what ? All it is doin is makin me feel like an idiot because she is so hot and cold it's unbelievable. What is she trying to do here? Am I being unreasonable ? I have been back 8 days now and she hasn't wanted to see me yet. Wtf is the problem ? if she wasn't interested why would she continue to talk and make plans only to flake always ? Edited August 5, 2014 by UltimaWeapon
Moonborn Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 Wtf is the problem ? if she wasn't interested why would she continue to talk and make plans only to flake always ? Because it's an ego boost for her. I say stop playing her game and just don't reply. Your time is precious, and she is wasting it. If she was really interested she *would* find a way to make time for you. 1
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 5, 2014 Author Posted August 5, 2014 Because it's an ego boost for her. I say stop playing her game and just don't reply. Your time is precious, and she is wasting it. If she was really interested she *would* find a way to make time for you. ye I understand if she wanted to see me she would but if she truly wasn't interested why would she continue to text me first? It's not like I am forcing her to talk to me she can easily stop. u don't continue to initiate conversation with someone u aren't interested in? She has only been in only one relationship also it was a 4.5 year one..ended 2 years ago.. maybe she is scared to get into something so fast ? so she is trying to slow it down? could that be a reason? I really want this girl and I put enough effort already so I really am disappointed after talking for over a month for this to be happening considering everything she said.
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 5, 2014 Author Posted August 5, 2014 She is just pushing me away with this behaviour. I don't get how she doesn't see that ... She seemed really shocked and surprised I even brought up the fact she isn't interested because she hasn't made plans so I really don't know what to do
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 I already told you what to do....dicth the b itch. You have no priority in her life. Listen, if you are not having your expectations being fulfilled, then find someone else. Just tell her you are expecting something different so it's bubbye. And don't let her keep reeling you in. Just let it go. Here's a tip: go by their actions not what they tell you.
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 For all you know she has a BF and she is just using you for attention. That would explain the hot now cold effect.
morbot_k Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 ye I understand if she wanted to see me she would but if she truly wasn't interested why would she continue to text me first? It's not like I am forcing her to talk to me she can easily stop. u don't continue to initiate conversation with someone u aren't interested in? She has only been in only one relationship also it was a 4.5 year one..ended 2 years ago.. maybe she is scared to get into something so fast ? so she is trying to slow it down? could that be a reason? I really want this girl and I put enough effort already so I really am disappointed after talking for over a month for this to be happening considering everything she said. No she is just not that interested enough to make you a priority. She'll hang with you when she feels like it. Low interest. If you push her she will wonder why. You have to see her as someone who may have potential down the road but right now isn't that available. Don't get upset with her - just give it space. Focus on other girls.
todreaminblue Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 i always feel if someone is really special they are worth the effort too many people give up too easily......to em that shows lack of interest in the first place......she said see how hard it is .....you should have asked what do you mean ...you didnt understand what she meant so why not clarify...why not ask directly and say how you feel....it would make things ten times easier and more clarity is the outcome that you would probably have to me if you want to start somethign with anyone you brign honesty to the table first its the first thing you lay down ....you say what you need you say what you expect and if you dont understand anything the other person says you say that too...you clarify you make things crystal and you progress and move forward either together or apart but with total understanding of what is going on ....you dotn have to ask anyone else anythign you get it straight from the horses mouth so to speak..........its so simple...such an evasion of bs its refreshing and clean cut....and makes relationships so simple to maneuvre.....deb
morbot_k Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 i always feel if someone is really special they are worth the effort too many people give up too easily......to em that shows lack of interest in the first place......she said see how hard it is .....you should have asked what do you mean ...you didnt understand what she meant so why not clarify...why not ask directly and say how you feel....it would make things ten times easier and more clarity is the outcome that you would probably have to me if you want to start somethign with anyone you brign honesty to the table first its the first thing you lay down ....you say what you need you say what you expect and if you dont understand anything the other person says you say that too...you clarify you make things crystal and you progress and move forward either together or apart but with total understanding of what is going on ....you dotn have to ask anyone else anythign you get it straight from the horses mouth so to speak..........its so simple...such an evasion of bs its refreshing and clean cut....and makes relationships so simple to maneuvre.....deb I think he has shown A TON of interest and is pretty clear about his interest. The reality is she isn't willing to make time for him - whether that's because she's focused on work or she isn't that interested, it doesn't matter. He getting upset and all isn't going to help the situation. Best for him to easy off the gas pedal.
44tt Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 I'd let it go. She may have changed her mind or she may have met someone else. Anyway, I'd stop making excuses for her. I worked 5 days a week 9 hours a day, and I was able to date just fine. That's what it sounds like to me too, with all the cancellation and rescheduling.
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