UhhConfused Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 So we sorta met a party about a month ago and we exchanged glances every once and a while while there. We didn't really talk much at the party, after it was over she added me on FB so I thought cool. Well from mutual friends I heard she was into me and my friend sorta randomly gave me her number a day after the party. I texted her later that day and ever since we've been texting like 24/7 even when she was out of town about serious conversations and the like. When she got back (about 2 weeks since the party) we went out on a date. We went out for dinner and it was horribly awkward with a lot of silence and some small talk. Anyways near the end we went for walk kinda in silence for bit then I walked her home in which she made a move and went in for a kiss before going and we said are goodbyes. Anyways the next day I was going out on a road trip with some friends for about a week. We texted pretty much everday with flirting and stuff like that and we talked about doing a lot when I came back. So the day I get back there was no texting for 2 days then on the 3rd day we had a short sorta meaningless conversation and I could tell something was up (the texts didn't have the same cheery, happy vibe) so I laid off on texting her for a bit. Now its been about 4-5 weeks since seeing each other at the party. I asked her if she would want to hangout again and she said yes however it sorta felt like she wasn't as excited from when we talked before. Before she literally texted paragraphs and now its usually short sentences with days going longer since the last text. But anyway I confronted her about this and she said she thought it was okay we were texting less, I mean I don't mind. I just thought it was weird that it randomly slowed with like no vibe to it just kinda boring. Before this she would always spam me with snapchats and stuff too. Also I know they're texts so I know its hard to interpret feelings from just texts. But anyway am I over thinking this or is there something else I'm not seeing? Edit: Also she was the one to initiate most if not all of the texts and now she doesn't. I'm also a shy guy that's usually quiet so I don't know what I should do. tl;dr: Met a girl at a party. Texted 24/7 for 2 weeks. Went out on an awkward date after those 2 weeks, she went in for a kiss at the end. Texted 24/7 while I was out of town for a week. Now that I'm back she barely texts me and it doesn't feel the same. I asked her to hangout again but she seems unresponsive even though she said yes. Am I over thinking this or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Mike B. Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 She lost interest. Things got stale. You can't just text a girl into submission. Endless text doesn't spark romance, being in their presence and good conversation does this. Texting is just another option for communication. It shouldn't be your primary option. You spent too much time not doing anything. If you get another chance to take her out, you really have to step things up a bit. You mentioned that you were shy and a shy person usually miss out on a lot of these opportunities before they finally become comfortable around women to start taking it to other places. Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 You waited 4-5 weeks. Fatal error. Next time, dont wait more than 72 hours. Women have tremendous choice, why would she wait around for a guy who is not even contacting her. Ask her out for drinks get yourselves a bit drunk and find the liquid courage to kiss her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UhhConfused Posted July 13, 2014 Author Share Posted July 13, 2014 She lost interest. Things got stale. You can't just text a girl into submission. Endless text doesn't spark romance, being in their presence and good conversation does this. Texting is just another option for communication. It shouldn't be your primary option. You spent too much time not doing anything. If you get another chance to take her out, you really have to step things up a bit. You mentioned that you were shy and a shy person usually miss out on a lot of these opportunities before they finally become comfortable around women to start taking it to other places. Any advice on how to step things up a bit? Link to post Share on other sites
Author UhhConfused Posted July 13, 2014 Author Share Posted July 13, 2014 You waited 4-5 weeks. Fatal error. Next time, dont wait more than 72 hours. Women have tremendous choice, why would she wait around for a guy who is not even contacting her. Ask her out for drinks get yourselves a bit drunk and find the liquid courage to kiss her. What do you mean? We texted a bunch throughout those 4-5 weeks and went out on a date too before I left town. When I came back though things kinda stopped. She even told me about what we should do when I get back and when I got back nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 If she's not responding to you, move on. You can't make a girl like you if she doesn't already. Rule #1 of being a dating man. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Why did you text and not call? Are you a deaf mute? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UhhConfused Posted July 13, 2014 Author Share Posted July 13, 2014 If she's not responding to you, move on. You can't make a girl like you if she doesn't already. Rule #1 of being a dating man. Thing is she did. But thanks for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Thing is she did. But thanks for the advice.OK. She did. She doesn't anymore. It sucks, it hurts, I'm sorry, but move on and cut contact. She might realize she had a good thing. She might not. Don't wait around though. Move on with YOUR life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UhhConfused Posted July 13, 2014 Author Share Posted July 13, 2014 Why did you text and not call? Are you a deaf mute? She always initated with text and never called. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UhhConfused Posted July 13, 2014 Author Share Posted July 13, 2014 OK. She did. She doesn't anymore. It sucks, it hurts, I'm sorry, but move on and cut contact. She might realize she had a good thing. She might not. Don't wait around though. Move on with YOUR life. That's what I've been contemplating. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 That's what I've been contemplating. Thanks.No problem man, not trying to be a d*ck, just tough love. My ex left me three weeks ago. Moved her bed out of "our" apartment today. I'm going through some sh*t I've never dealt with before. Just gotta keep confident that I'll be OK and that this is merely a minor blip over the course of what I hope will be a long and varied dating life. Could be worse... could be getting divorced, or someone died. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike B. Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 No problem man, not trying to be a d*ck, just tough love. My ex left me three weeks ago. Moved her bed out of "our" apartment today. I'm going through some sh*t I've never dealt with before. Just gotta keep confident that I'll be OK and that this is merely a minor blip over the course of what I hope will be a long and varied dating life. Could be worse... could be getting divorced, or someone died. You'll get through, dude. The number one helper is time. Had the rug pulled from under me not too long ago myself. The thing about it is that it wasn't even an exclusive relationship but it felt like it. OP, the whole "she always initiated with text and never called" is not the level of strength you should be operating with. It sounds like you let her take the lead on communication. You really have to be the driving force when dating someone you are really into. Don't expect things to go any where unless you are driving. You can try stepping things up some but it will come off not nearly as well as it would have if you had done it from the beginning. Stepping things up now would be a last thrust of a desperate measure to salvage things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UhhConfused Posted July 13, 2014 Author Share Posted July 13, 2014 No problem man, not trying to be a d*ck, just tough love. My ex left me three weeks ago. Moved her bed out of "our" apartment today. I'm going through some sh*t I've never dealt with before. Just gotta keep confident that I'll be OK and that this is merely a minor blip over the course of what I hope will be a long and varied dating life. Could be worse... could be getting divorced, or someone died. It's cool. Sorry about that. OP, the whole "she always initiated with text and never called" is not the level of strength you should be operating with. It sounds like you let her take the lead on communication. You really have to be the driving force when dating someone you are really into. Don't expect things to go any where unless you are driving. You can try stepping things up some but it will come off not nearly as well as it would have if you had done it from the beginning. Stepping things up now would be a last thrust of a desperate measure to salvage things. That is true and I do understand. You live and you learn, so we'll see how things go from here. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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