Koshizan Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Hello. Im sort of in a sticky situation. I have been friends with this girl named Meg for quite a while now(We went to high school together, but after we gradutated is when we both became good friends) and i am interested in starting a romantic relationship with her. The problem is, i have had two long term relationships already( one for 2 years and one for 6 months) but she has never really even dated...in fact im not sure if she has even kissed a man yet. This problem isnt with her lack of experience but more along the lines of im worried if we do get into a relationship and it does work out well...Im conserned that she might feel the urge to branch out because I would be the only person she has dated. Now i know i am kind of putting the cart in front of the horse but there is a mutual interest between us about starting a relationship, but she is transistioning into college and has too much going on to start it now. Its just i have a much better idea of what kind of a person i am looking for and she fits the bill perfectly...im just worried that she doesnt have a good idea of what she is looking for. So my questions is sort of multi-parted 1) Should i wait for her to date some people before i try and pursue her and hope that it doesnt work out between them? lol 2) Or just take a gamble and go for it, and see where it leads? Above all, i really enjoy being a friends with her, and i would rather stay together as friends if a romantic relationship with her is doomed to fail. Any advice for me? Anything would be a help...im just afraid of making the wrong choice =) Thanks, Koshi Link to post Share on other sites
gd1039 Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 I say option 2. You will be kicking yourself if you don't make a move and she meets some guy and ends up marrying him. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Option 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly10340 Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Option two definately. You'll always wonder if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Brooklyn8503 Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 option 2. i was that girl going into my first relationship. i was 19 and hadn't even been kissed. i knew the guy for about 6 months before we started our relationship. niether of us wanted one at that point but we both decided to pursue the chemistry we had. I was going extremely well untill he moved back in with his parents and then it went down hill from there. after a month of not talking (becuase he hooked up with another girl and broke up with her in 2 weeks) i finally told him i NEEDED his friendship and we talked for a couple hours and now we're closer than before. We're going to get an apartment together and we're both dealing with the jealousy issues of us both seeing others because we still have feelings for each other but i'm much happier to have him in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Koshizan Posted September 24, 2004 Author Share Posted September 24, 2004 Hmm, alright. Thanks for all your input. I kind of sucks for me somtimes, because i am one of those safe bet people. I am always analyzing situations until i think i have them all worked out and could handle any outcome of it. Unfortunately I cant do that with relationships =) Although, i guess that would take the fun out of dating and the such. Link to post Share on other sites
DJ_Dork Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 little boys. if you *WERE* into her, you'd be more aggressive and try to establish a relationship. I know if I'm marginally interested in a girl (she's bangable but not sure about relationship) I make very little moves. I don't know why but with some girls I'm totally interested in I'm already laying the smackdown..but the girls that are marginal.. I'm not sure I should do anything. The truth is, I do notice that I extra physically aggressive to girls that I want than girls that I'm so-so with. If I end up in the friendszone with the so-so person, whatevers. You are in the "friends zone" pal, forget it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Koshizan Posted September 25, 2004 Author Share Posted September 25, 2004 While i am in the "friend" zone....im not locked into it. My concern is that if i choose to move from the friend zone...will her lack of dating experience be a problem down the road. Also...i tend to lean towards establishing a relationship before getting into...to quote you...the "banging" lol. Thats not really my goal here...I guess im not really the guy whos looking to score. Link to post Share on other sites
swtbonita Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 i'm still with my first bf.. and i don't feel any urge to go find another guy.. because i don't think i can find i could ever find a guy better then my bf.. and also before my bf I had alot of opportunities to go out with others that asked me.. but they never made me feel the way my bf made me feel when i was with him.. if you think she will look for other guys.. well just think.."don't give her a reason to look and she probably won't look for another one." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Koshizan Posted September 25, 2004 Author Share Posted September 25, 2004 Hmm...thats a good way to approach it. thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Go for it, man!!!! This problem isnt with her lack of experience but more along the lines of im worried if we do get into a relationship and it does work out well...Im conserned that she might feel the urge to branch out because I would be the only person she has dated. In my experience, people who dump someone because "they feel the urge to try be with others" are usually not worth dating anyway, and if they can break up with their SO for such a reason when it is their first real relationship, they can do it also in future relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Koshizan Posted September 25, 2004 Author Share Posted September 25, 2004 Thanks to everyone for the wonderful advice. Saddly...i got word she just finished reading a book called "Kissing dating goodbye". Something about revamping the way you meet people and such. Doesnt really sound too good for me lol. Koshi <----shutdown by a book lol Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Be a man and try it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Originally posted by Koshizan 1) Should i wait for her to date some people before i try and pursue her and hope that it doesnt work out between them? lol There is no telling that, after she does date a few people, things will not work out between them, or that things would work out with you, if she were interested in pursuing anything with you. 2) Or just take a gamble and go for it, and see where it leads? I like option number two. Everyone has to find a first person to gain any sort of experience with. If you really like this girl, ask if she is interested. She seems to be what you are looking for, and you will never know how compatible you are, or how things will turn out, until you try. Above all, i really enjoy being a friends with her, and i would rather stay together as friends if a romantic relationship with her is doomed to fail. If you are interested in possibly dating this girl, I doubt there is much sincerity in your simply wanting to be friend with her. I do not mean this in a bad way, just in that you would really like to date her. I think you should ask if she's up for it! Link to post Share on other sites
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