Girl asked me out for dinner, then invited another girl to join us.

[kaizor31]

So i have this ex-colleague whom i have known for about 3 years. When i first know her, we chatted quite a bit and she seemed to have some interest but i never managed to date her out, as she always said she was busy.

 

I gave up after a while. We still kept in contact throughout the 3 years, texting occasionally, and whenever there seems to be a certain level of interest and i want to advance it, she would back away, especially when she was the one who initiated it.

 

For eg, she would say things, lets meet up for dinner. But when i really do ask her out for dinner, she would be busy all the time.

 

So i more or less gave up on trying to start a relationship with her and just saw her as a normal friend. But that's when she started to text me more often and try to initiate conversations.

 

And recently, she actually asked me out 2 times in a row.

 

First time, she said she wanted to treat me to coffee, as shes leaving for studies( actually just a short 3 months course) in another country soon, and she wanted to thank me for my care and concern over the years. As i was not feeling well that day, i told her i couldn't make it. And i thought that was the end.

 

Then she asked me out another time, for dinner. I thought she was finally ready to take a step forward so i decided to give it a try as well.

 

But the day before the dinner, she informed me that another of my ex colleague would be joining us.

 

That dinner turned out to be awkward and i spent more time talking to the other ex-colleague than to her.

 

So i just want to know, what is up with her? Is she just unsure of what she wants? Or is it her way of telling me she is not interested?

[d0nnivain]

Maybe she just wanted to keep things professional.

[preraph]

Well, she's definitely not interested in dating you. She's probably just trying to maintain a network of work contacts because that's a smart thing to do as it can lead to job referrals, etc. And I'm sure you know that "Let's have lunch" is mostly an unfollowed-through cliche in those type situations. She's not interested in you romantically, not even a little. Sorry. She knows exactly what she wants, and that is to just keep you as a colleague and nothing more and she's stunted every attempt you've made to take it further and no doubt knows you want to take it further but isn't about to let you. I mean, if someone is nice and was a work colleague, there's no reason to just be mean but neither is there any reason to acquiesce to a romance with them if you don't want to. She's drawn the line.

[J21]

I think she might just see you as a platonic friend or maybe a Plan B guy at best.

 

I don't think after asking you out (which is the hard part), she'd just sabotage it by bringing a friend. If there was any underlying romantic interest, she'd go through with it as a date. She could've brought along the friend to make clear it wasn't a date too.

 

Anyways, I'd move on from this. There are many single women out there, and the constant ambivalent message has got to be tiring.

Edited June 25, 2014 by J21

[Assasda]

I think she could be interested, but for some reason I get the feeling that she's involved with someone else.

Anyway, go out with other women.