hilly534 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 so I've been dating/hooking up with this guy off and on for 3 years. last summer he pulled the whole i don't think this is going anywhere thing. so 4 months later he started talking to me again and acting super into me again.. and we starting seeing each other again. anyway he's been super distant lately and not really talking to me, so i texted him asking him if he's over this? no response and its been 5 days.. literally all he has to say is I'm not into this anymore and id leave him alone and move on but its messed up after all this time he can't even have a mature "conversation" .. what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 He started seeing someone else. Last time too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Youve been hooking up a with a guy for 3 years? 3 years is a long time. I dont think this guy has much respect for you OP. Move on 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lanamarie Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 It sounds to me like he's happy to be around you to hook up, but that he's not really interested in anything beyond that. That's why he disappeared and then came back later. Fishing to see if you'll take the bait. You should cut him off, forget him, don't respond if he ever contacts you again, and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 It's time to move on. Forget about him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 3 years is long enough to "hook up" with someone with no prospect of it leading anywhere. He's only interested in you when it's convenient for him. Apparently it's not convenient right now. My initial thought is the same as another poster's: he's started seeing another girl. Whatever the reason, it's time to move on. This set-up is futile and will only get your hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 so I've been dating/hooking up with this guy off and on for 3 years. last summer he pulled the whole i don't think this is going anywhere thing. so 4 months later he started talking to me again and acting super into me again.. and we starting seeing each other again. anyway he's been super distant lately and not really talking to me, so i texted him asking him if he's over this? no response and its been 5 days.. literally all he has to say is I'm not into this anymore and id leave him alone and move on but its messed up after all this time he can't even have a mature "conversation" .. what should i do? You have had an on and off casual sexual relationship with this guy for for three years now. From the sound of this, Sure, he could quite easily just say "Hey, I'm not into this any more" and that would be that....in theory. But how does he really know you're going to be such so cool about it and simply leave him alone after that? What guarantees does he have that you're not going to freak out, cry, blow up his phone or cause a scene? He doesn't. It's awkward enough telling someone you're not into them anymore. Just tonight I tried to do this with a guy I've been (very) casually hanging out with for only the past two months because of his moody behavior. He KNOWS why I don't want to see him anymore but even still, he begged me and wants to give it another shot and I'm considering it...which never would've happened had I just cut him off or pulled a fade out. There would be no discussion to pull me back in. And this is with someone new. You've been sleeping with this guy for three years! I'm sure hes not expecting you to just nod along and wish him well. But truth be told, you don't NEED him to say anything, actions speak louder and all that. His behavior toward you is disrespectful but he's showing you quite clearly how he feels about the situation now. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I think ktya is spot on, and you deserve better than being a backup plan to go to when he is bored or alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hilly534 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 so I've been dating/hooking up with this guy off and on for 3 years. last summer he pulled the whole i don't think this is going anywhere thing. so 4 months later he started talking to me again and acting super into me again.. and we starting seeing each other again. anyway he's been super distant lately and not really talking to me, so i texted him asking him if he's over this? no response and its been 5 days.. literally all he has to say is I'm not into this anymore and id leave him alone and move on but its messed up after all this time he can't even have a mature "conversation" .. what should i do?.. side note. .should i unfriend him on Facebook, or does that just look like I'm bitter? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 so I've been dating/hooking up with this guy off and on for 3 years. last summer he pulled the whole i don't think this is going anywhere thing. so 4 months later he started talking to me again and acting super into me again.. and we starting seeing each other again. anyway he's been super distant lately and not really talking to me, so i texted him asking him if he's over this? no response and its been 5 days.. literally all he has to say is I'm not into this anymore and id leave him alone and move on but its messed up after all this time he can't even have a mature "conversation" .. what should i do?.. side note. .should i unfriend him on Facebook, or does that just look like I'm bitter? Where is this world heading for goodness sake, this man ignored you for 5 days but you are afraid defriending him on a social network will make you look bitter? It will make you look mad, and that is exactly how you should feel !! He hurts your feelings but you're afraid of hurting his! No answer in 5 days IS an answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I agree. Leave him alone the way he is leaving you. He has clearly told you he doesn't see the two of you going further yet he drops back in your life for a few good times and he's gone again. I think you have the message by now and yes unfriend him on FB and delete his number. If he wants you let him chase after you for a change. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 OP, go back and look at your thread list. Look at the titles of your threads. Maybe that will open your eyes. 10 threads since March 21 about the same thing over and over again. It's insanity. It's done. If you want a relationship with an emotionally available man, go out there and date and seek what you want. This is a crap cycle you need to end. Block him and move on with your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hilly534 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 thanks your right, i know, i just hate the feeling I've wasted all this time with this guy who never wanting anything with me.. time to move on Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 thanks your right, i know, i just hate the feeling I've wasted all this time with this guy who never wanting anything with me.. time to move on You chose to waste time with this guy. This is all you. Link to post Share on other sites
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