Mommame2 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) Met a nice guy who seems to really be kind, down to earth and successful. He is gorgeous too! We have talked a ton everyday for the past 2 weeks. Great connection. Well I have noticed at times he seems ADD. Doesn't follow what I'm saying and sending me non stop movie clips to laugh over... In the middle of his workday. Anyway, turns out he is bi polar. He is on medication. I thought... Hmmm. Well? We will see how it goes. Then last night I learned that he has been sleeping at his ex wife's house for days (watching his son) while she is out of town. He was sleeping in the master bedroom. And he drove her to and from the airport. I haven't told him I was jealous... But yes I am because he stayed there while she was in the house too. (The night before her trip). He says he can't stand her and he only does it for their son. Hmmmm. Run? Give it time? I am hung up on him. I will admit I cried after I got off phone w him about that. He also told me tonight that this week he has been battling depressed feelings and he thought It was from ambien he took. This was very sad to me that he was depressed? He said he was So thrilled that he met me and he was so happy?! He said it is just "chemical". Edited May 22, 2014 by Mommame2
MissBee Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 When you meet a man and realize you have no reason to post about his behavior on LS --- then he's a keeper or at the least someone you should stick around and see how it goes out with. That's the rule of thumb. But if you have to get on here and dissect all his behavior or share obvious red flags...no. Although, curious: what are your deal breakers and what are red flags FOR YOU? You seem heavily reliant on what we think...what do you think? Do you have any mental checklist of your absolute nos that you won't tolerate? If so, what are they? If not...figure them out ASAP! If you don't dating will be very difficult as you virtually have no ability to filter anyone out. 3
David87 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 This guy has a lot of bagage and it's up to you if you decide to date him or not in the future. My personal opinion is to move on and to find a better boyfriend.
Author Mommame2 Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 It is pretty disappointing. I really like him. But I can see the red flags... And I think the hardest was him telling me that he is depressed this week after seemingly falling for me. Can I tell him that ? Be honest regarding that and him sleeping at his ex wife's?
MidwestUSA Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 "I have been here for 13 years. One child. Rough marriage. I'm in therapy and learning about his unhealthy our marriage is. I am SO close to being able to file for D. But for some reason, I keep choking." OP, your married persona recently posted. Have you considered following thru with that plan to get separate accounts? It would cut down on confusion, as many people look to past threads for background on a poster. Right now, it looks as of you are an unhappily married woman who is quite active with OLD.
David87 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 It is pretty disappointing. I really like him. But I can see the red flags... And I think the hardest was him telling me that he is depressed this week after seemingly falling for me. Can I tell him that ? Be honest regarding that and him sleeping at his ex wife's? Yes let him know how you feel about the whole situation.
Author Mommame2 Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 It is pretty disappointing. I really like him. But I can see the red flags... And I think the hardest was him telling me that he is depressed this week after seemingly falling for me. He told me also that he "can't tell me how many times he has planned his own death.."
Author Mommame2 Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 Sorry for any confusion I will get my own account after this post "I have been here for 13 years. One child. Rough marriage. I'm in therapy and learning about his unhealthy our marriage is. I am SO close to being able to file for D. But for some reason, I keep choking." OP, your married persona recently posted. Have you considered following thru with that plan to get separate accounts? It would cut down on confusion, as many people look to past threads for background on a poster. Right now, it looks as of you are an unhappily married woman who is quite active with OLD.
Author Mommame2 Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 The interesting thing is since he told me about his mental illness and his previous suicide attempts... I see everything differnty. He sent me a YouTube video of the Celine dion song "immortality" and I got scared. I wondered if he was suicidal again? These are things I've never had to think about before w someone and it is nerve wracking.
MidwestUSA Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 The interesting thing is since he told me about his mental illness and his previous suicide attempts... I see everything differnty. He sent me a YouTube video of the Celine dion song "immortality" and I got scared. I wondered if he was suicidal again? These are things I've never had to think about before w someone and it is nerve wracking. Ugh, you don't need to deal with this. The nonstop movie clips alone would be enough for me to say 'no thanks'. I have a thing about work ethic and have no respect for people who use their workday that way. If he's using (abusing?) Ambien, he may be offsetting any drugs legitimately prescribed for bipolar, as it's a depressant. You may really enjoy his manic side, but if he doesn't have his down side leveled out, no, just no. At least he didn't hook you in by trying to hide his illness as long as possible. Minimal investment, move on.
halfcrazed_i Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 It really depends how much you like him. If you like him enough to overlook his bi-polar disorder and his baggage, then I think you should see where this goes. But if you're already having an issue with him staying over at his ex's house at this point in time, then you should run the opposite direction. Because honestly, it's not going to get better. And neither will it be less frequent because his son is still there.
Author Mommame2 Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 I talked to him tonight and told him that the ex stuff made me jealous and I didn't like feeling that. He said that there was nothing there but that he understood and would change behavior if I requested it. I just like him so much. I am nervous on this guy. I feel like I could get obliterated ... I think we both want the same things.
William Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 As an advisory, due to this issue of multiple individuals using the same account being repetitive and non-responsive to the requests of moderation, responses from the thread starter may be delayed. Thanks for your participation! 1
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