ses Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 (edited) I've accepted to go out for sushi with a guy I've known for almost 6 years. We met when I was 20 and he was 26. Our friendship was always complicated due to his overprotective older sister and cultural background. He's American but is ethnically South Asian so conservative values and family involvement in personal lives is normal and widely accepted. I was friends with his sister first and she introduced me to him when I went to her house for the first time. I was never allowed to be alone with him and we had no physical contact (aside from a brief touching of hands one time when he passed me a plate of food). I always interacted with him in group settings and our conversations were relaxed, but formal and polite. I felt close with his immediate family and I even spent time with his relatives on several occasions. I liked him for 3 years, and then he entered a relationship with another woman (his ex). He introduced me to her which was bittersweet. I never told him how I felt and I don't think the rest of his family knew either. I never wanted to transgress cultural boundaries and cause any discomfort for my friend. I would send him messages (he would respond) but they were always polite. He never really initiated contact and maintained his own distance. We were always friends on Facebook but we gradually lost touch as we got older and I grew more distant with his sister. I would "like" and comment on some posts but it never went beyond that. I thought I was over him until he unexpectedly sent me a message last night. He asked me how I was doing and then casually mentioned that we hadn't seen each other in a long time (it's probably been more than 2 years). He suggested that we hang out and go out to eat. I immediately felt butterflies because I suppose that I have wanted this opportunity for so many years... just to be alone (albeit in a public setting) with him. When I responded in the affirmative he seemed excited and punctuated his responses with exclamation marks. He then politely asked for my number ("what's the best way to reach you...") and told me he would keep in touch. He texted "sweet dreams (my name)" and told me he would see me Saturday night. I don't know what to think. I don't know if he's being friendly or sees this as a date. I had always assumed he saw me as a sister because his sister treated me like a younger sibling, and he never indicated something more. I don't want to assume anything due to my feelings. He works in another state and would be driving up here to come see me. I definitely want to catch up with him but I just don't know how to process the situation because he's never been this forward with me before. Edited April 3, 2014 by ses
Gaeta Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I highly doubt someone would drive from another State and devote his Saturday night to spend time with a sister's friend. His own childhood friend yes but not a sibling's friend so yes, I would think his interest is beyond just friendship. Enjoy your time with him and I am sure he will make his interest clear! 1
Author ses Posted April 3, 2014 Author Posted April 3, 2014 Thanks! I just am going to try to treat it as a casual outing to keep my expectations in check. I don't want to be disappointed and hurt. 1
Phantom888 Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 If he asks to have sex with you, then he is not seeing you as a sister-like friend.
HappyLove Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Sounds exciting! Yes, keep a level head I think he's interested but don't go in with any expectations. Have fun and don't forget to update us! 1
Author ses Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Sounds exciting! Yes, keep a level head I think he's interested but don't go in with any expectations. Have fun and don't forget to update us! Thanks! I'm super excited and nervous. I haven't stopped thinking about seeing him since our last conversation. I hope I can get over my nerves. I'll definitely let y'all know how it went.
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