moonpies Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 i have been with my girlfriend for almost a year. she is amazing and shes the girl i plan on asking to marry me. the thing is i always have a fear she will dump me. i have no reason to think this, i just do. some morning im afraid she will realize she dont love me. then when im feeling insecure im always trying to make sure she loves me and feels strongly about me how can i stop doing this?
slizl Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 You must stop doing this immediately. Manifest destiny will be at play here if you keep it up
melell Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I agree with above. You are aware of feeling this way, now you have to do everything you can to change your thoughts when you feel that way-just think of other things, don't let it stew. Do you know why you are insecure? Like where is might be coming from?
Author moonpies Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 You must stop doing this immediately. Manifest destiny will be at play here if you keep it up manifest destiny?
Sweetnothing Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 If you're feeling this way definitely don't tell her. It puts a lot of pressure on a relationship when one person reveals that their happiness depends on the other. It's clingy behavior. You should WANT to be with someone, not need them. Just remember if she does leave you, you won't die, life will go on, and there are a ton of options out there. Be cool. Be independent and have your own life. No one wants a relationship to feel like an obligation. Try finding new sources of enjoyment. It'll benefit your relationship. She won't feel bad about seeing her friends if she knows you won't just be sitting at home bored.
d0nnivain Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 When you find yourself thinking these negative things, stop & recognize that you are doing that. Then replace the negative thought with a positive one. For example when you find yourself thinking that she doesn't love you, make a point to think about the last nice thing she did for you or at least the last time you had sex.
Gaeta Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Those unreasonable fears you are experiencing can be controlled by de-dramatizing the thoughts running in your head. If she stop loving you and leaves you, then what? Are you going to die? No. Are you going to end up in a wheelchair? No. Is it going to change anything in who you are, your job, your friends, your family? No. It will simply break your heart. You will hurt. You will mourn. You will heel. You will move on. You live day by day, you have no control over tomorrow. What ever happens you will be alright. What you are doing right now is putting yourself through a drama that doesn't exist and may never exist. Just like you have no control over being hit by a car.
Strength in Healing Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I would seek professional help for a generalized anxiety disorder. This will become a self fulfilling prophecy. She doesn't want to keep having to affirm her feelings to calm you down. That will turn into a mother son relationship. Seek help, professionally. Have the courage.
jphcbpa Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 stop now! one day at a time. you are going to fine with our without her. start to focus on you and your life. pull back a little with your neediness, it will drive her away. detach with love. practice self love, self care what are your hobbies and passions? obsess on those TODAY!!! get some books on this subject. see a professional.
Recommended Posts