NYC-BigKat Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I was out earlier with a guy from my neighborhood to get some sneakers at the mall. Um...he's not really a friend I don't think but we seen each other off & on sometimes so anyways he started teasing me about my problems but in a playful way & about my cousin crushes & all that stuff then there was this cute & sexy girl coming toward us & she was on the phone & he stared at her then told her she was beautiful & she said thank u & he said any time then he just forgot about her but then we ran into her again coming back from the shoe store & then he tells her how he loves her eyes & smiles at her & now he got her number & they going out later this week! I just don't understand how something like this happened . Girls don't like to be approached with come-ons in the street right? Whenever I tried they would ignore me a lot & it embarrassed me so I stopped doing it. Anyways I told my uncle about this when I got home & he laughed & says he does that all the time & girls respond to him most of the time. But why not to me? I'm really really upset 'cause I don't get it . Why are girls responding to this? Link to post Share on other sites
VeronicaRoss Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Would you or your uncle want your sister to go out with a guy that came on to her like that? I'm going to guess they're not looking for someone to take home to mom that way, right? It's fun to flirt but this is kind of one step up from Craigslist from a woman's perspective, very risky. Zero info about him. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Do things to her like the Sun and the Moon. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5kkf0hyfKs Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Confidence. He approached her being absolutely sure of himself. If she dissed him he most likely wouldn't get hurt by it either. That's probably the main difference between you two. He has confidence. A guy can look like a toad on crack if he approaches a woman absolutely sure of himself and respectfully many will fall for it or at least think twice. It's a turn on. The way he did it too was good. He kind of tested her at first seeing if she would be the type to respond. Then he walked away she's thinking hey why didn't he hit on me. Then he comes back and she's had time to think about it and now they're going on a date. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Would you or your uncle want your sister to go out with a guy that came on to her like that? I'm going to guess they're not looking for someone to take home to mom that way, right? It's fun to flirt but this is kind of one step up from Craigslist from a woman's perspective, very risky. Zero info about him. Back in the olden days when people actually approached each other IRL it went a lil something like this. You don't need to know his Facebook profile and likes and dislikes and tweeting habits before giving a guy your digits. She knew plenty. She knew what he REALLY looked like, not his photoshop pics, how she felt in his presence, what he sounds like. I'll take a guy approaching me and flirting IRL over the internet any day. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NYC-BigKat Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 Confidence. He approached her being absolutely sure of himself. If she dissed him he most likely wouldn't get hurt by it either. That's probably the main difference between you two. He has confidence. A guy can look like a toad on crack if he approaches a woman absolutely sure of himself and respectfully many will fall for it or at least think twice. It's a turn on. The way he did it too was good. He kind of tested her at first seeing if she would be the type to respond. Then he walked away she's thinking hey why didn't he hit on me. Then he comes back and she's had time to think about it and now they're going on a date. But I used to say nice things a lot to girls all the time & they act like they don't hear me or something u know. My uncle has done this too & girls sometimes responds or not but he doesn't care. I do. It hurts when u say nice things &girls ignore u. People always look at me like I did something dumb . That's why I stop. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 The truth is, some guys just manage to operate this way. It doesn't work for you, but a different way will. Hey - if that girl hadn't crossed your path a second time, he wouldn't have her number. A lot of that was luck. And maybe they'll go out, maybe she'll cancel. Time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 But I used to say nice things a lot to girls all the time & they act like they don't hear me or something u know. My uncle has done this too & girls sometimes responds or not but he doesn't care. I do. It hurts when u say nice things &girls ignore u. People always look at me like I did something dumb . That's why I stop. I'm betting you lack the confidence though because you're afraid to be rejected so they may sense you weren't really into approaching them. Rejection sucks but it does take a lot of practice to get comfortable in approaching women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NYC-BigKat Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 I'm betting you lack the confidence though because you're afraid to be rejected so they may sense you weren't really into approaching them. Rejection sucks but it does take a lot of practice to get comfortable in approaching women. I guess so. I guess crushing on my cousin happened cause of low confidence, right? My cousin cant really make me feel bad like a stranger can u know. Link to post Share on other sites
VeronicaRoss Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 She knew plenty. She knew what he REALLY looked like, not his photoshop pics, how she felt in his presence, what he sounds like. I'll take a guy approaching me and flirting IRL over the internet any day. OK yes but not what I meant. I agree in real life gives you more information, but meeting on the street is not enough to know if the guy is a complete schmuck or not. And his uncle talked about a lot of women his nephew never even knew about . Still easy to hide a lot of info for awhile if you don't know anything about them, where they live, friends -- particularly if the attraction is strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 But I used to say nice things a lot to girls all the time & they act like they don't hear me or something u know. My uncle has done this too & girls sometimes responds or not but he doesn't care. I do. It hurts when u say nice things &girls ignore u. People always look at me like I did something dumb . That's why I stop. The girls are ignoring you because there's no force of command within your tone when you approach them. What that means is voice of confidence in how you talk to them. You probably sound unsure of yourself and women in most scenarios can sense that. They're wired too. It just looks like the well is still dry for you Big-kat. What's stopping you from hanging on to your uncle's coattails? He's got the game down pat and never mind if the family hates him. Who cares because you don't, correct? If anything, you actually need the dude to show you the ropes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NYC-BigKat Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 The girls are ignoring you because there's no force of command within your tone when you approach them. What that means is voice of confidence in how you talk to them. You probably sound unsure of yourself and women in most scenarios can sense that. They're wired too. It just looks like the well is still dry for you Big-kat. What's stopping you from hanging on to your uncle's coattails? He's got the game down pat and never mind if the family hates him. Who cares because you don't, correct? If anything, you actually need the dude to show you the ropes. I was with my uncle for a while but I felt kinda like a loser 'cause I couldn't get the attention that he always gets u know so I stopped & also my mom hates him so much & she forbade me from hanging out with him & he's never at any more of our family gatherings or parties but the family talks about him a lot though & my uncle knows this. Maybe I should try to hang out with this other guy to see what else I can learn I guess . Link to post Share on other sites
Shooter Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 What do you look like? If you're fat or ugly girls aren't gonna respond period. They need to be attracted to you to look twice. Take care of your face and body and wear stylish clothes. Now if you're gonna hit on a girl you need to hit on one that seems interested. Women tend to make it really obvious, especially in NYC, whether or not they are interested. In NYC if a girl isn't interested in you she will downright refuse to make eye contact with you. So play off of the womans body language. Go to the mall and find a cute girl. Get close enough to her that she can see you (walking toward her is your best bet) and make eye contact as you approach. Survey her with your eyes, Up and down. Keep a confident look on your face. Maybe a slight smurk. Now you play off of what she does. If she does any of the following approach: Holds eye contact Smiles at you Looks away while stealing glances/acting nervous Plays with her hair If she does any of the following abandon ship: Looks at you with disgust Rolls her eyes Completely avoids looking in your direction, keeps her head down, and makes an effort to completely avoid making any contact with you as she walks by. Follow that guide and your success rate will skyrocket. And don't just hurl compliments at the girl.That will turn a lot of women off. Only a really gullible girl will fall for a bunch of fake compliments. Instead make an effort to have a mini conversation with her. Say something similar to this: "Hi, saw you walking by thought you looked really nice, and I thought I would introduce myself i'm big kat nyc." After you say that just let things flow. If shes interested she'll tell you her name and you can ask her a little bit about herself or what shes doing at the mall. Get her age. Then say "I gotta run but I like you though, let me get your number so I can see more of you" and if she stayed for a whole conversation she'll mos def give you her number. Another option if your confident enough is to say this when you approach: "Hey, saw you admiring me as i was walking up, thought i would introduce myself since you're obviously interested." Say this in a confident but slightly lighthearted manner. Most girls will find it funny and a little charming. If shes interested that little "serious joke" will kinda break down her walls and get her off guard. More comfortable she is with you more likely she is to give you her number. Good luck. Just practice everyday and pretty soon you'll have plenty of girlfriends. Everyone in the world is shy. Most girls and most men. Thats why only the confident dudes get girls and all the shy guys sit around and wonder "what haven't i got?" Thats why things will always be in your favor if you learn this skill. Shy guys will always outnumber the guys with balls. And girls will always be passive. So its simple logic, dudes with the most balls are gonna get the most women. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
OhThatGirl Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 "Hey, saw you admiring me as i was walking up, thought i would introduce myself since you're obviously interested." Dammit. I would totally fall for this if it was delivered well. I'd blush, laugh, and unless I'm entirely turned off by his looks, he would end up with my number. Ugh. My parents were in town visiting and we went to this country western bar where they do line dancing. Guy walks up, asks my mom to dance (my dad was at the bar or something). No way she's going to dance. He asks me if I would like to. Well, I'm there with my parents so I decline too (plus I have no idea how to do the dances)... But then I got to thinking this guy was really sweet to ask my mom to dance. Hell, she's 62 and not the most objectively attractive woman, and this much younger guy was such a gentleman about it. Oh. I'm a sucker. I later caught up to him and gave him my number, told him when my parents left town maybe he could teach me how to dance. He texted and told me to let him know next time I was headed out there. I still plan to let him know. If nothing else, he could be a dancing partner when I'm out. He was not attractive. But he had guts and was a super gentleman. Sometimes that's all it takes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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