I need help/tips showing interest and not friendship

[gd1039]

After a previous post of mine and some thinking, the conclusion has been reached that I am too nice when I meet a girl and because of this, I am in the friend category before I can realize my own mistake. Back in high school I used to be good at "flirting" and showing interest, but I have seemed to lost that and also the game has changed now that I am older and in college. It was a lot easier to find a girlfriend in high school than it is in college (although I never really was a ladies man...)

 

So this brings me to why I posted. I made a point to strike up some conversations in a couple of my classes with some girls, in hopes of eventually finding a girlfriend. Since it is a new semester and it just got started, I need to take extra care so that these girls don't think I am trying to just be their friend. From my point of view, here is an attractive girl, she seems nice so I want to get to know her better.

 

But how can I make my intentions clear? I want to show that I may be interested, without comming on too strong, but I also don't want to be a softee and let them think I just want to be friends.

 

I know I am probably putting too much thought into this, but I am tired of screwing up . I would say that if the next time I have class with one of these girls, I'll make sure she is at least still interested in talking to me and I can try to get her number and see how that goes. We have a football game next saturday, so I think asking someone to go would be a decent idea. It isn't too date-ish, but as long as I don't act like a wuss it would be a good chance to show some interest.

 

I would greatly appreciate any tips/ideas on how to improve myself so that I don't come off as too friendly (even though I am a very outoging and friendly guy) but not come on too strong

[tanbark813]

Rent "Swingers" and pay close attention to Vince Vaughn's character. Be Vince. You want to be confident about yourself and show interest, but in such a way that she knows that if she turns you down, you couldn't care less.

 

[surfergirl]

gd - just don't come across as cocky...which I don't think that you will.....be yourself don't give any of those lame "lines" when talking with her.

 

You should be able to tell by her body language and tone of voice as to whether she is interested in more than friends.

 

Watch for the "signs" and go for it

[gd1039]

An Update:

 

I had class again with this girl and it went good. We were chatting some and I get a small feeling she may be interested in me, but I can't be certain (she did remember my name though, which is a plus because I frequently forget names). In class we watched a movie about cyberstalkers which was intended to frighten us into being more careful on the internet (the teacher even showed how easy it is to get someone's phone number offline). I was planning on getting her number, but is right after a movie like this the best time?

 

Well, it was. As we were packing up our stuff I said "Why don't you give me your number?" and she gave it to me. Now, usually I get nervous asking for a number and bargain myself down to asking for an email address because it seems more casual, but this time was different. I had a lot more confidence than usual and just stuck with the phone number. I didn't use some closing line like "...get your number so we can study" etc. Simply asked for the number and got it.

 

 

This brings me back to my original topic now. I NEED to make sure I don't fall into the friend catagory. I haven't seen swingers, maybe I should check it out to get an idea of how to look confident (thanks tanbark). Surfergirl - I know not to come off as cocky, that is something I really don't want to do. Don't worry no lame lines either. I think it is important to be confident (like not show you are nervous asking for the number) but more importantly look comfortable about it. Keeping a comfortable composture is what I think is the opposite of cocky. You are confident to talk etc, but laid back enough to make it seem natural.

 

Yes, the next logical step is to ask her out. I have gone on 2 semi recent dates with 2 different girls and one didn't make it to the second date (even though we chatted on the phone a few times) and the other one made it to the second date but it was a bad time. One thing I think I need to do is initiate some (or more) body contact (body contact does not mean humping their leg, Im talking about just touching their hand when I talk to them etc) to hint that I am interested in more than friends. These past 2 girls I had little to no physical contact with. Ideally this will go better than the past two girls I have met.

 

So people, I got the number and I know how to act like myself, but what are some pointers on staying out of the friend category?