I got my head outta my ass and realised she doesn't like me

[dudeguy56]

I've liked this girl since October. We've hung out since January. I like to talk to her and I text her pretty often as well. I've never been in a relationship. So... I don't know, I thought that maybe I had a chance with her. I had even planned telling her how I feel but I'm starting to change my mind. She's really just nice. A very nice person and I'm pretty sure I mistook that for some kind of flirty tension. It kinda just seemed obvious today, about until two weeks ago we texted a lot and even if I started the conversations she gladly participated. (Don't worry, we hung out as well IRL) Then about a week ago we hung out at my place and talked about relationships a bit, it probably isn't relevant but still... Anyway, today I tried texting her again for the first time in like a week and her messages are just short and non-continous. She's never done that before. It feels like someone lead me on, only to cut me off where it hurts.

 

The problem is that I like this girl immensely. Never before in my life have I felt this way and finally realising that she most probably doesn't feel the same is just... ****. I started gymnasium in Sweden in August (equivalent of High School) , since then I made some friends but from October I always tried to walk past her in the corridoors and say hi. Because of this I don't have that many friends because I put my focus on her. I don't have any friends from before all this either. So I have no one to talk to. My family has noticed that I've been behaving differently. So right now I'm lying to friends and family because I just don't have anyone to talk to. It feels pathetic but all I feel I can do is cry, somehow it helps but only a little.

 

Next year we might end up in the same class and I still want to be her friend. But on the other hand it would be such a relief to at least tell her. But it might create an uncomfortable tension. I feel like ****. Really. I think of all the people I've met in my life but no one even comes close to her. I'm also a very realistic and shy person so I'm not the kind of guy that falls for someone every week. This is serious and I need help.