stephwill Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 (edited) the guy i've been dating for 2 years now has trust issues. Long story short, he thinks i lied to him on friday on why i didn't pick up my phone and i didn't. I got off work at around 5:56 and he called twice while i was in the garage, where i get no service, and i never got his calls. He then called back again about 30 mins later while i was driving home and picked up his call because, of course, i saw the call. He asked me why i didn't pick up his first 2 calls and i told him that i never got the calls because he must have called while i was in the garage. He didn't believe me. I think told him i would call him right back because i wanted to confirm that was the case because i would have saw a missed call from him. So, i hung up the phone for 4 seconds so i could see my recent call list. When i called him right back, he asked me why i had to hang up and i told him that i can't see my recent call list while on the phone (i have an iphone). He said that that didn't make sense and that i should be able to do that with my phone. I just found out that that's the case. So that made him even more suspicious. I got up upset because he says he trusts me but he was still questioning if i was telling the truth, which hurts because i don't lie to him whatsoever. I won't do anything to mess things up with him. I got upset and told him that i didn't feel like talking on the phone because i'm not going to deal with getting accused of something i didn't do. the next day i sent him a text and told him how much i love him and that it hurts for him to ever question me because that shows that he doesn't trust me. I then went to go see him play his game later on that night, just to support him, but after that i gave him a hug and left because he truly needs to think about if he trusts me all the way/believes me or not. And there's nothing i can do to convince him. He didn't call me saturday night, like he usually does, or at all on sunday or monday. So, i haven't heard from him since i saw him at his game. I don't know if he wanted me to stay and wait for him at his game, but i don't want him to think that everything is okay, because it's not. He can't think that i would lie to him because things won't work out if he has those thoughts. Sometimes i also feel like i'm paying for the distrust he had with his ex in the past, which isn't fair to me and i'm going to mention that next time i speak to him. I was thinking of giving him more time to think things over and giving him a call to see where his head is at and if he thinks i was lying or just wait to see if he calls. it's been 6 days now since i have heard from him and i'm hurting righting now Thoughts?? Edited March 1, 2014 by stephwill
Gaeta Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Are you aware you are in an abusive relationship? This man is a control freak, manipulative, selfish. He is giving you the silent treatment as a punishment. So how old are you? Why do you accept such rotten person in your life? 5
TXGuy Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 He sounds quite a bit off. Pull the eject lever on this relationship. You deserve better. By every standard, what you have with him will only get worse. (his only out: If, after you call things off, he recognizes where he went wrong and apologizes. If this was a first time thing, you might give him the benefit of the doubt. But if he has done anything close to this before, get out while you can) 1
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Your BF is __________ a. an ass b. a jerk c. a control freak d. an abusive SOB e. all of the above After 2 years there is no reason for him to treat you like this. I'm sorry you are hurting but take this as the 1st steps in healing after the end of your relationship. I would take those statement & accusations & suspicions coupled with 6 days of ignoring you as constructive abandonment. I'd assume he dumped you & carry on as if you are broken up. If he contacts you again, ignore him. Move on with your life. Find a nice guy who isn't insecure & who is man enough to take when he's upset. Good luck. 1
Chocolat Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Is there any back story here? A reason why he'd be suspicious of you? If not, then something is very off...
KatZee Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 I'm sorry but his trust issues are NOT your problem. You're basically catering to a little boy here every time you feel you have to explain yourself, justify what your intentions were, etc etc. Now he's being a spiteful, manipulative, emotionally abusive jerk off. 6 days? I'm sorry you've dated this piece of scum for 2 years but if I didn't hear from my boyfriend of 6 days, it would be over in my eyes, and there wouldn't be any way he could redeem himself. I want a man. Not someone that's going to accuse me all day long of cheating, and then be passive aggressive like this and run from an actual conversation to solve the problem. This guy needs to be yesterday's news. 1
OhThatGirl Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Huh? Girl misses 2 calls, answers 3rd call a half hour later. Guy doesn't talk to her for 6 days?!?!! Either there is much much more to this story or this is a type of emotional abuse and manipulation. Sometimes as girls (especially when we are young or have low self esteem or are inexperienced in relationships) can interpret this jealous bizarre behavior as "he cares about me, he really likes me, he doesn't want anyone else to have me" but in reality time will show you that it's just controlling and abusive. Do not tolerate this behavior. Don't talk to him. IF he contacts you just be firm and say "I don't need to be questioned or accused. You chose not to talk to me for 6 days over something I gave you a simple explanation for [though you owed no explanation at all] and I find your behavior to be unacceptable. I refuse to be treated like this." And let him go. This is not the sign of a relationship headed towards happily ever after.
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