She dropped the L bomb!

[Sparky9]

I have posted a few times on here within the last couple months. Went through a tough breakup a little over a month ago. Started hanging out with an acquaintance I had met through other friends. She knows my whole situation, and told me she had basically waiting 3 years for me to become single.

 

Told her I'm not ready to start anything serious...I enjoy hanging out, helps me keep my mind off of my ex. She lives over two hours away. I figured it would be fairly safe to keep a friendship, with benefits, that was long distance. I think I have only spent about 3 days with her, and she told me yesterday that she is completely in love with me.

 

For her, she says, it was almost love at first sight. I'm 35...she's 38. Not sure how to take it. I honestly told her that I was no where near ready to reciprocate. She seemed ok with it.

 

I had previously told her that I'd be ok with hanging out, and spending time together..we could possibly grow into something more...but at that point, I was just looking for a friend.

[MalachiX]

Get out now.

 

The bottom line is that you're going to be using this person and that's not fair. You don't feel the same way about her but you like having a connection with someone and (I assume) having something sexual. The problem is that it's not fair to her and you should have sensed this would be an issue when she told you that she'd been crushing on you for years.

 

I know it's hard sometimes. I have a similar situation with a female friend. I can tell she's had a crush on me for some time (on and off for years), and I do enjoy being around her and there is some chemistry there. However, I also know that I'm not going to ever fall in love with her (based on certain personality things). I know that, if we dated, I'd basically be using her. I'd have someone to do couple-ish things with and probably have some great sex but I'd be looking for the door very fast and i doubt it would last more than a few months. I also know that this friend falls in love easily and usually gets attached even when she tries to just date casually.

 

I've refused to cross a line with my friend (i.e. don't let it get romantic or sexual) because I know how this ends. I think you should be putting up the same barrier. Even if it's hard.