loveRight Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Hey everyone, so im trying to understand whats going on with my situation.. im in a relationship with someone who i truly love and i try my best to put in as much effort as i can to make sure hes happy. But at this point im beginning to realize that I AM not as happy as i should be? im trying to understand what effort i want to see from his side...& to actually talk about it but i have no clue how to begin. The thing is hes been with the wrong ppl in his past..and has moved way to fast with them...but whats actually bothering me is that he knows how our relationship is very different from what hes had in the past but i just feel like hes not on a good pace with me? im not asking to rush into anything but i just feel like if u moved at that pace with the wrong ppl...why wouldnt u want to move at a healthy pace with the right person? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Well, so I (and probably others) can understand your situation better......how long have you been together? How have things been progressing so far? How would you like things to progress? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Also, how old are you, and why do you think he was moving too fast with the wrong people? How fast is too fast? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveRight Posted November 13, 2013 Author Share Posted November 13, 2013 To answer all of the questions we've been together for 5 1/2 months have known each other for over a year. H'es said it himself that hes made stupid mistakes and that it was wrong to introduce his ex gf to his family...(hes said that his ex gf has forced that part on him) i dont do any of that i just go with the flow. and we have a 7 yr difference hes 27 & im 20. See the thing is we dated eachother...but things didnt work out..and then a few months later he got with this other girl..and then she cheated on him and he realized he made a mistake-- not pursuing a relationship with me...so he brokeup with her and has been with me ever since that. Knowing he could of been with me during the months he was with another girl...really affects the situation doesnt it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveRight Posted November 13, 2013 Author Share Posted November 13, 2013 Well, so I (and probably others) can understand your situation better......how long have you been together? How have things been progressing so far? How would you like things to progress? See the problem here is my constant comparison to his previous relationship...he had no intention in having a future with her..(so he says) but she met his family..& they were constantly with eachother at family events. ive met a few family members but no interactions like his gf received. and honestly i HATE comparing ppl & things but wouldnt any given person react that way? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 I think you need to closely examine why things didn't work for you two the first time. secondly if there is a sliver of a chance for this to work you can't hold what he did when you were not together against him. How long after he broke up with her did you and he get back together? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveRight Posted November 13, 2013 Author Share Posted November 13, 2013 I think you need to closely examine why things didn't work for you two the first time. secondly if there is a sliver of a chance for this to work you can't hold what he did when you were not together against him. How long after he broke up with her did you and he get back together? YES i agree that i shouldnt hold it against him..and i honestly do not want to feel that way. About 3 weeks later, after he brokeup with her. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Hey everyone, so im trying to understand whats going on with my situation.. im in a relationship with someone who i truly love and i try my best to put in as much effort as i can to make sure hes happy. But at this point im beginning to realize that I AM not as happy as i should be? im trying to understand what effort i want to see from his side...& to actually talk about it but i have no clue how to begin. The thing is hes been with the wrong ppl in his past..and has moved way to fast with them...but whats actually bothering me is that he knows how our relationship is very different from what hes had in the past but i just feel like hes not on a good pace with me? im not asking to rush into anything but i just feel like if u moved at that pace with the wrong ppl...why wouldnt u want to move at a healthy pace with the right person? It's in knowing the unknown isn't it if you have never moved slow then what is the clarification of slow Communication is key honesty is key compromise is key so you can step together at the same pace Luckily guys find it easy to talk to me and I don't have a problem setting the pace I would never set the pace faster than a walking partner can handle that's common sense set the pace by the slowest walker....deb Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 YES i agree that i shouldnt hold it against him..and i honestly do not want to feel that way. About 3 weeks later, after he brokeup with her. Are you sure you're not a rebound? Did you make him put in any work to get back with you? 3 weeks seems really really quick. I'm definitely not trying to rain on your parade and I don't know your situation, but it seems too coincidental. In all honesty, I'd be very wary of your mans intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
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