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How much should he talk to ex-wife?

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Old 26th July 2004, 9:50 AM   #1
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How much should he talk to ex-wife?

I would really like to start dating this guy. He likes me, I like him. There is only one problem...HIS EX WIFE!

They were divorced back in January, and they had a custody hearing for their daughter that ended in April. He filed for the divorce, and he always says how much he hates her. She is really immature and tries to get him to switch weekends, make other arrangements to drop off their daughter, and basically just tries to screw up his life and tries to get away with as much as she can.

I guess that is not really my business, except she calls really late at night, and she calls him almost everyday. They'll argue about the weekend arrangements, and someone will get mad and hang up. She always calls back...up to 4 times in a row. This is difficult when I am trying to spend time with him. We only get to see each other once or twice a week.

A part of me wants to say something, but I feel like that's not my place. He apologizes for being on the phone with her, but it still bothers me. I understand a little conversation is necessary, but everyday?! I just don't want to start a relationship with someone who still has so much contact with their ex. What is a "normal" amount of time for them to talk?? Should I say something even though we are not really "dating" yet?
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Old 26th July 2004, 10:03 AM   #2
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It is not your place to say anything ESPECIALLY since you aren't even dating. Sounds like a messy divorce so before you get involved decide if you have the patience to sit by, listen to him gripe, and deal w/her crap. Even if she grows up and stops being a dork about her daughter (man that crap pi$$es me off ) they should stay in contact to discuss their child. It seems obvious that he's over her but he may not be in a position right now to devote the time and care you deserve in building a new relationship.
Benjamin Disraeli:

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth."
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Old 26th July 2004, 10:40 AM   #3
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I dont think that talking to the ex-wife everyday is a big deal. I talk to my ex-husband everyday (regarding the kids and/or back child support that he owes) and my BF talkes to his ex-wife everyday (regarding the kids). You almost have to remain friends when there is a child invoved. Its the best thing, that way they can be on the same page with raising her/him.
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