did i have the chance to be her boyfriend?

[knoklee]

Hi all!

Here it is my story!

I am 24 years old virgin, and that was a choice due to some 'religious' principals and because i wanted to focus on my studies. lately, in my last year in the university, a friend visited me and saw how much I was engaged in studying, so he advised me to look for a girlfriend to get back my human skills. I started thinking at the idea of having a girlfriend, especially, because I will graduate this year. one day I saw her, she was too cute, too shy like an angel; we had an eye contact and boom, she looked away and continued on her way; After a while, while she was waiting for her friend he started, shyly, peeping at me and I did same until she's gone.

After this day, I started looking at her in the university until I knew her name but I wasn’t able see her anywhere; I sent her a friend request on Facebook, and after several attempts, I sent her a message then she accepted my invitation. We started discovering each other; I saw in her, the female version of my soul. She was learning drawing as I do, she loves guitar, and I play it, she like japan, and I’m learning Japanese, we both like Mangas and animes, and the most important we have the same traits.

I asked her out in many occasions on a date, but she was too shy to say yes, and use flimsy excuses to refuse; I was trying to understand her, I had no problem.

we used to spend enormous time talking on Facebook, in the other hand I started my graduation project; I started thinking that what I really need is girl besides me, not a girl’s profile on Facebook who refuses evreytime to see me, especially we talk a lot, even while in her classes; So I took the decision to deactivate Facebook in order to focus on my graduation project.

from time to time i text her or call her, or i activate Facebook to talk with her; when we meet by chance in the hale she pretend not to know me (but i see the stress in his face) even if i text her to come back to see me she pretend to be busy.

One day, i 'attacked' her and say hello and it was the first time she said hello back to me, and then she started to be more comfortable when we meet.

After my graduation, i activated Facebook definitely and we started talking again, i tried this time to be more realistic, day after day, we were getting closer. One day she asked me to help her in her internship project, I proposed to meet her, and it was the first time I spend all the day with her.

once at home she thanked me and we started talking on Facebook again, i asked her about boys in her life and she responded that it was in a relationship with someone else (during my graduation internship) but now they just talk on Facebook, but don’t want to meet; I asked her “did u love him?" "ohhh yeees" … Was that a Heart Attack?. I finished the conversation nicely, and i stopped talking to her, after some days, I was totally broken, and I told her so, she didn’t know what to say, she said that she ignored my feelings and I knew she was lying. The day after I said to her that I don’t care what she think about the other guy I just want to be with her, to be honest she was too happy we weren’t able to stop talking that night.

After that, I started to get jealous and things became so stressful, she did some crappy and childish and not remarkable efforts to show her interest on me, but, it wasn’t enough in front of the “ohh yess I love him” that I’ve already heard. I dropped everything behind me and took a break; I travelled for one week. Once returned I was excited to talk with her (I made the decision), but she wasn’t. her words were to cold. Day after day, we started to talk less, Until we stopped talking to each other. A month passed, a new year in the university began, she met the other guy she’s happy now she can be besides him even if he don’t want to; I told her that I miss her she said that if she missed me too she would have say it.

Lately her boyfriend broke up with her, and I don’t know what to do??

She has a prideful heart (and I think me too), and I can’t organize my life while she is in my mind .

Sorry for my bad English and for being so long I really wanted someone to heat this story !!

[todreaminblue]

hey bit messy huh........i am in two minds about this...i am book marking this by replying so i can go through my profile instead.,.... i will think about it and come back if you want me to.I tend to respond where there is a woman blowing hot and cold because i relate.....so ill come back to you........deborah

[knoklee]

thank you for your interest !

yes i know its a complex situation; i think she was hesitating between the two of us !

she loved the other guy, but he didn't love her back, he didn't care (that's why she continued to love him), he's a cutie guy i don't think he can even deal with a woman.

in the other side i wanted her to chose me, i hate being in war for a girl !!

i'm afraid now of being rejected again and again, i'm not even sure about his relation with her ex now.

[todreaminblue]

thank you for your interest !

yes i know its a complex situation; i think she was hesitating between the two of us !

she loved the other guy, but he didn't love her back, he didn't care (that's why she continued to love him), he's a cutie guy i don't think he can even deal with a woman.

in the other side i wanted her to chose me, i hate being in war for a girl !!

i'm afraid now of being rejected again and again, i'm not even sure about his relation with her ex now.

 

thankyou for posting this it gave me a direction to take with you( i had several in mind ).Women often fall for guys who dont love them, have done this myself, that was my exes loss.Truth is he did love me but unable to process what that love was...it was sexual in nature to begin with and i presented a challenge to his ego now....he cares for me ....i care for him i hold no grudges............I desired to give him a chance because i saw wonderful qualities that was like an echo ...he was extremely heroic and he fought for me hard..msot o fmy exes have been heroic altruistic.....part of me responds to that... different things.....heroic and altruism.

 

hence the problem ...a man has to be good for all of you not just parts.....a man who loves a woman...

 

 

 

well it isnt war required .....

 

 

 

and true men dont abandon women who love them....mine did so therefore you can draw your own conclusion he wasnt right for me nor was he truly for me.....so not my true man...if you walk away from what is right for you trangress agaisnt what your heart truly needs then you will suffer...what you need to decide is this woman what you need or purely what you want........i dont want a man who simply wants me...for they walk away far too quickly or stay out of not having greener grass to turn to........

 

 

so my advice is search your heart decide if it is her you need in your life to help you grow...or you simply want her for ....(this is a direct correlation to her ex) you are simply wanting someone who doesnt want you and facing that challenge ....i hope that it is that you need her ...i am an eternal romantic:bunny::bunny:

 

when you want something you go get it ...when you need ....you ask...i asked recently well not recently.......but i asked a guy because i have always known to ask for what the heart needs normally takes me a while to figure otu what i need....this one hit liek a sonic boomn out of nowhere..the guy said no..in essence he didn tknow my motives or know me personally .... i have not left i am a stayer....i have endurance....adn will accept friendship I need him in my life............that is not war ....but it is fortitude and determination to ask and to stay and be there when they realize out of th eblue....they need you too....i wish you well..hope its need fro both of you....hugs ...good luck.....deborah

Edited November 6, 2013 by todreaminblue

[knoklee]

thank you for your good advice !! really helpful

it took a long time, but at the end, i don't need anyone ... i'm the man ... i'm talented ... i ve just graduated. i have a life to live