Age and Race Differences

[Guest]

Race and Age seem to be 2 "big" (I use that term loosely so don't get offended) dating differences that people see in couples. So what would you do in the following situations? I have put my answers in this post.

 

1. Would you date someone of another race: YES

2. Assuming you are ~20 (I am 20) would you date someone 4+ years older than you: Possibly

3. Would you date someone that was both another race and 4+ years older: Really not sure

 

I figure that one of the 2 is alright, but both? Assuming similar personalities, I think it would be easier to get along well with someone of the same age group but different races than different ages. Age is a harder thing to overcome IMO because of maturity and just simply being at different points in your life.

 

So, give your answers and any other imput you would like to.

[cinnamonstix49]

I think the answers depend on who the person is, if they treat you well and you have strong feelings for them... I say go for it!

 

1. Would you date someone of another race: YES

2. Assuming you are 20, would you date someone 4+ years older than you: YES

3. Would you date someone that was both another race and 4+ years older: YES

 

Currently... I am 16 years old, dating a 20 year old of a different race, so it's all good... just so my family is okay with it (Until I'm 18 anyway) and he treats me good...

[Girlie]

I've dated interracially, and I would do it again, but it does come with its own share of heartaches. Both from trying to cope with other people who are nosy as hell (and mean), and from the cultural and/or religious differences that can cause friction. From my experience, it was harder than dating someone from my own race, but that's just my experience and, as I said, I would still do it again. As long as I think I'm compatible with them, I don't care what race they are.

Age differences....I think that would just depend on where I was at in life. When I was 27, I dated a guy who was 22, and it just did NOT work because we were at two totally different places in our lives. But there, again, I'd do the age difference thing again as long as I thought we were compatible.

Age and race...sure. Bring it on. If the person's worth any problems that might come up, why not?

[magda]

Well, you can't generalize age and race. I've dated men of a different race who were culturally identical to me, on a superficial- dating level anyway. It's different if the person has been raised in a completely different culture. Then there can be very big differences in who you both are as people that can make dating, & getting to know each other intimately, difficult.

 

At 19 years old I seriously dated a 34 year old man for quite some time. I broke up with him - I found that he really wasn't on the same level as I was. At the time I kind of (inwardly) boasted that I dumped him because he was too immature, but that was rather unfair I suppose. Really, we were just in different places in life. Completely different places, I came to find out. It only minimally bothered me, the age difference. I met his parents and they liked me well enough. He loved telling all his friends that his girlfriend was 19. ..he made me feel so HOT. He really set a precendent there. I think I was perhaps feeling a little low on myself and that's why I got into the relationship. I got on well enough with his people but maybe we weren't together long enough for the age difference in our friendships to become apparent. He had a lot of friends closer to MY age - hence my judgements about his immaturity. That and he acted like a little boy around his dad. I still remember this boating trip with he and his dad that totally changed my perspective of him.

Sometimes I thought about how all the things in life that I expeience for the first time he had already experienced, and that bothered me some. But I ended up breaking up with him mostly because he wasn't spiritual enough for me at the time.. I had kind of hit this spiritual point in my life and went on hiatus from it during our relationship which eventually got to me... and I stopped seeing him also because when we kissed, his breath smelled and tasted kind of funny. He's married now. Maybe he was rather immature. Again, you can't generalize. There are plenty of kids plenty more mature than their parents.

 

 

Then, at 20, my boyfriend was 25. We lasted 8 months, but we broke up mostly because he felt pretty low on himself and would condescend to me because of my supposed lack of life experience and degree in engineering. I felt he used me for my youth and fun times. The main reason he cited for loving me was that I am "fun". I suspected that he continued the relationship because liked my social circle... He eventually realized he treated me unfairly and began to respect my intelligence.. after I broke up with him.

[Guest]

Girlie - I agree completely that as long as you are compatible, race does't matter. The point about being in 2 different places in your life is why I posted my age. Obviously it would be easier for someone that is 30 to date someone 5 years in either diretion than it would be for someone that is 20.

 

I think the best piece of advice I have seen on here is from you girlie "If the person is worth any problems that might come up. why not?"

 

I mean the more I think about it, neither of these things are "bad". It isn't like you are dating someone that does something you are opposed to (ex drugs). The only "internal" problems you may run into are things like cultural differences or the age thing, being at different points in your lives.

 

I think though that it is the other people that would cause more of a problem. In either situation it would be like "Woah, look how much older Y is than X" Or "Man, look at that (race) guy going out with a (race) girl" Either of those wouldn't be sooo bad. But what about both? "What the hell? They are X years apart and different races?"

 

I dunno. You shouldn't really care what others think, but its hard not to sometimes.