jaymz Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Met this girl about 6 weeks ago, we met through OLD and after a couple of messages she gave me her number. We had a pre-date a few days later, nothing special, just a couple of drinks at a local pub to see how we get on and if any clicks. She said she had a great time after and I arranged a proper 1st date for the weekend. After the 1st date she again said she had a great time, kissed me on the cheek and went inside her house. I sent her flowers the next day which she absolutely loved. Its the summer and I had some holiday coming up a few days after the 1st date. I was away for 10 days and the day I come back from holiday she left to go on hers for two weeks literally the same day i get back. So during this almost 4 week period we were constantly messaging each other, silly photos, great banter and conversation. She initiated around 50% of the messages and so I thought it was going well. She gets back from holiday and we arrange the 2nd date for Wednesday last week. At the last minute she bails texting she was let down by the baby sitter. I didn't get that text until I sent her a text saying I was running 10 minutes late to pick her up. she said she wondered why i didn't reply to her cancellation text and assumed I was annoyed at her. I replied saying that I was disappointed but that was only because I was looking forward to her company and beating her at bowling that evening she replied she was disappointed too and was looking forward to beating ME at bowling! At this point I thought all was ok. I have kids and know that baby sitters can be a pain to arrange at times. So I arranged with her to move the 2nd date to the following Wednesday as that was when we were both free. Over the weekend and up to Tuesday afternoon, again lots of messages and further banter etc. she tells me she has had a another problem with her phone, she lost one a few weeks ago but sent me a msg through OLD with her new number. Then it goes dead. I call her and the phone just rings and rings. So yesterday afternoon I tried calling her again, phone just rings. So I have a delimila and choose to go and pick her up as arranged rather than assuming she has cancelled when in fact she is waiting for me. So I go to the house. lights are on and its obvious people are in. I knock on the door and nothing. I wait a few minutes while her dog stops barking and then knock again. A tall guy (i thought was her dad) answers the door, I ask for her and then a minute later she comes to the door and is really surprised to see me. I said we had plans for tonight. She says she left her phone at work and has family over and could we arrange for another time? I said let me know and left. Was upset, spoke to a friend who said that either she did genuinely forget about the date and left her phone at work or she just was a coward to not end it with you and assumed just ignoring you would give you the message. either way don't contact her again.
Author jaymz Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 Just as I hit submitt she sends me a text: "hi, ive just got into work and seen all your messages. no excuses, i am just so sorry about last night and feel so awful. sorry x" normally its been two or three x's on the messages we have been sending. So is she genuine or just a coward? Whats best way to find out? When I have done OLD before, when there isnt mutual attraction, myself or the other person has been quick to say "thanks, had a great time but don't think we are a good match" or words to that affect.
heartshaped Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Hmm, I would put the ball back in her court. Respond, but keep it short along the lines of 'it's okay, it happens' and don't mention rescheduling unless she does.
Oberfeldwebel Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 I think that you may be more vested in this relationship than she is at this point. If she has family and does not invite you in to be introduced that is a pretty telling moment. I agree with Heartshaped that you should ratchet this down a notch, tell her no problem in a text and let it go without a reschedule. Let her initiate the reschedule, if she is interested, she will contact you, if not then you have your answer.
Author jaymz Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 OK i replied and said "its ok, it happens. If you want to rearrange then call me xx" I wouldn't have been expecting to be invited to meet her family yet, its only been a couple of dates! What I did expect is to be notified of any changes to what we planned.
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