Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Together 3 years..and still no commitment

Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10th June 2004, 12:19 AM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Northern California.."Wine" Country
Posts: 12
Unhappy Together 3 years..and still no commitment


OK...I need some serious advice..

Here's a brief history:
I'm currently 22. My boyfriend is 29...30 in September. We will have been together 3 years in September. It took him a year and a half to tell me that he loved me (and it took me almost breaking up with him then for him to finally say it). All around us, friends of ours are getting married, having kids, etc., and it's driving me nuts. This is both the longest relationship either of us have been in. He currently lives in a "bachelor pad" with two other guys.

I finally brought up the issue of us moving in together. His response? "I'm not ready for that. I need my space." I haven't delved deeper into it to determine more fully what he means, or what he actually thinks about our relationship (where is it going, etc.), because I'm scared to find out the answer, although I think I probably already know.

We spoke a few months ago, and I had asked him if he thought he was "missing out" on dating other girls, etc., and he said no...but he did say that he felt like he was making our relationship one-sided at times (yes, it's true, he is and does)...and that he just wanted to "see how things go between us" (I think we're a little past that part..).

So...I'm stuck. I love him, I enjoy being in our relationship, but it's reallly starting to feel like it's never going to go anywhere except where it is...and a part of me feels stupid, and hormonal for wanting all of these things when I'm probably not ready for them all yet (marriage, kids, the whole caboodle).

Any advice, ideas, suggestions, comments, thoughts? Thanks!!
corrinebean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th June 2004, 3:21 AM   #2
Established Member
dudesomewhere's Avatar
Join Date: May 2004
Location: florida
Posts: 536
lol, a frown in the post subject and 2 big ass grins in the body

so what is your dilema again? You want to get married but only sorta? Cuz you aren't sure you're ready to get married? I'm working off your last para. Kinda cracked me up..."hey you want to marry me or not. I don't really want to and all, just wonderin'. Thought it'd be kinda coo!"

Bushido - the way of the warrior

The 7th Sense. I see skanky people. They lie and cheat but they don't know it.
dudesomewhere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th June 2004, 10:15 AM   #3
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Northern California.."Wine" Country
Posts: 12
I didn't tell him that I wanted to get's crossed my mind, but I'm not 100% sure that's what I'm looking for at this time.

I did talk to him about us moving in together, and he doesn't want to...he "needs his space."

I think what I want right now is more of a commitment from him...and if he's not ready to give that, I want to know that he's at least seriously considering it.
corrinebean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th June 2004, 10:33 AM   #4
Established Member
Debster's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: CANADA
Posts: 1,035
Why bring it up until you know for sure that it is what you want?

As for 'needing his space' sometimes that is all it is and other times it is a way of pushing you away and a sign that he is not sure he wants to be that committed to you. Decide for yourself which it is.
Debster is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Seeing someone else if there's no commitment... Guest Dating 2 21st February 2006 11:03 PM
I have stopped self harming 8 years ago and survivor of mulitable abuse over 15 years duckrodgers Abuse 3 19th May 2005 11:08 AM
My boyfriend of five years cheated on me three years ago. How can we move on? Curious_imp Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 13 28th October 2004 7:57 PM
LDR and commitment issue: How do you prove commitment without buying a ring? a taken guy Long-Distance Relationships 2 22nd September 2003 11:31 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:24 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.