dreaming4ever Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 I haven't been in a ton of relationships so I have to ask this question. When you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, how much time do you spend with them?? Cuz I understand that we need time apart to ourselves and to hang out with our friends...but what's a normal amount of time to spend together?? Should I expect him to call me everyday? I'm different than a lot of people in relationships. When I'm in love with someone or think they're a lot of fun, I enjoy spending as much time as possible with them. Of course that leaves people feeling suffocated usually so I'm trying not to do that. I don't want my bf to feel guilty that he's not spending every second with me but I'm in a town where I don't know many people now and I get lonely....is it bad that I feel sad that he didn't call me today? I don't want to screw this relationship up but I also don't want to be unhappy....any suggestions would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
sallyhurts Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 i *see* my bf on an average of 6 days a week. we go to the same college, so its not like we hang out alone all those 6 days though. about 2 of those 6 days we actually just hang out him and me, not at school. and I give us a day(sometimes 2) each weekend where I dont ask him to hang out, or I conviently have other plans( i think it gives us a little breather). but this is just me. It is really just about how much both of you are willing/enjoy seeing each other on a regular basis. i dont think there is a right or wrong answer. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 First of all you need to cultivate some friendships apart & separate from your boyfriend. There's no reason why he can't know them as well but if you two break up then usually you lose his friends or your dynamic with them changes & you'll find yourself in an even lonlier position. Trust me, I've lived in a few different places & have gone through that situation myself. You stop seeing someone and suddenly your entire social network is gone as well. Secondly, it really does depend on the individuals involved. I don't at all think it's bad that you feel upset that you haven't spoken to him today. And I don't see why you shouldn't speak to him either. Calling someone for an "Hello, how are 'ya?" is not the same as suffocating them by being with them in every moment of your spare time. Also you shouldn't play games like who is waiting for whom to call. If you feel like speaking to him then pick up the phone & call him! What is there to gain by sitting alone hoping for a phone call? And finally, talk about it with him. Maybe he feels like spending as much time as possible with you too! You shouldn't be afraid to communicate your feelings to him. Just ask him to be honest with you when he feels he needs a night or two on his own. Generally you know if someone is getting distant with you as opposed to just wanting some down time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreaming4ever Posted May 22, 2004 Author Share Posted May 22, 2004 Yeah I know I need to get make a bunch of friends to hang with so I don't feel so lonely right now. I have a few friends I usually hang with but it's the long weekend so they're all 2 hours away. My bf and I were together for 9 months, then we broke up for 1.5 months and a week ago he begged for me back. And yeah, a problem I had last time was that I wanted to be with him ALL the time and he likes time to himself and stuff like that. He says if he spends too much time with someone it's not FRESH anymore when you see them, it's just blah. I don't really get that but w/e. Well, I start a new job on Tuesday where there's supposed to be a lot of university/college students working so hopefully I can make some friends there. And about ME calling HIM, he's weird like that. He likes to be the one to call....like, pretty much all the time. So ya....complicated a bit....and I'm still lonely....gotta find something fun to do Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 I think there is no right or wrong answer to this. It depends on how much you like eachother and get along with eachother I am guessing. Plus other things that are going on in your life come into it too. My boyfriend and I mainly see eachother on the weekends. Since we both work during the week. We make time during the week as well if we are lucky. He goes to Tafe at night 3 times a week too. I agree with bluechocolate I guess it depends on the indiviuals involved on how much time you want to spend with eachother. . Link to post Share on other sites
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