eleanorhurting Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 How long would you be willing to wait to have sex with someone you like? Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I can wait a long time. Easily six months. Probably much longer than that. I don't think I could wait very long for kissing or holding hands though... Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 How long would you be willing to wait to have sex with someone you like? Until we get home. Or, more likely, 2 or 3 months. I don't think I've had to wait longer, so I'm not sure. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Until.I.Just.Cant.Take.It.No.More then they are mine. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 what do you do in the 2 or 3 months? Do you get mad if the girl says she does not want to? Do you get mad if you fool around and then in the end she says she's not ready to go all the way? Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 what do you do in the 2 or 3 months? Do you get mad if the girl says she does not want to? Do you get mad if you fool around and then in the end she says she's not ready to go all the way? Go out to eat, cook dinner together, go to ball games, go hiking, go to concerts, play board games, do a puzzle, write a book together, go to the beach. That's just off the top of my head, there's a million things to do. The rest are questions I'm not qualified to answer... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 what do you do in the 2 or 3 months? Do you get mad if the girl says she does not want to? Do you get mad if you fool around and then in the end she says she's not ready to go all the way? If he's any good you'll be ready sooner than you know it. If he's no good at making you ready then don't even bother. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Edited title to conform with dating forum guidelines. Explicit sexual talk is disallowed. Explicit talk about the how's, when's and why's of waiting is encouraged. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 what do you do in the 2 or 3 months? Go on dates! Do you get mad if the girl says she does not want to? No. Do you get mad if you fool around and then in the end she says she's not ready to go all the way? In my experience there's always already been a conversation earlier setting expectations as to how far things might go before things get too heated. So if she finally says "that's far enough" it doesn't come as a surprise. I might be upset if I didn't find out that she wasn't ready yet right at the last moment. As with so many of these dating conundrums, clear communication is the key. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 what do you do in the 2 or 3 months? Do you get mad if the girl says she does not want to? Do you get mad if you fool around and then in the end she says she's not ready to go all the way? Well, the last time I 'dated' was in college, so probably not the entire answer would apply to you. That being said, we just... got to know each other. We went to movies and the mall and dessert parlors and restaurants, hung out at home watching stuff on TV or playing games, cuddled and made out and slept in each others' arms. We were in a culture where people don't usually have sex with each other quickly (2 months is considered very quick, there), so there was no worry or expectation that making out necessarily needed to lead to sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 Well, the last time I 'dated' was in college, so probably not the entire answer would apply to you. That being said, we just... got to know each other. We went to movies and the mall and dessert parlors and restaurants, hung out at home watching stuff on TV or playing games, cuddled and made out and slept in each others' arms. We were in a culture where people don't usually have sex with each other quickly (2 months is considered very quick, there), so there was no worry or expectation that making out necessarily needed to lead to sex. I wish more people shared this! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BoneyHadger Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 How long would you be willing to wait to have sex with someone you like? No definite time frame. When you think about it, how does one even "wait" to have sex? Are they permanently aroused in other person's presence and keep on asking "You ready now?" every 5 minutes? Happens when both parties want it and comfortable enough with having it. Putting pressure on it via time frames doesn't seem to achieve it for me. But whatever floats one's boat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I've really never waited more than three or four dates. But if it was really important to her then I'd wait maybe 2 or 3 months of serious dating. After that I'd start to question what the hell is up. I know a couple and they've been together for about 9 months now. When they were at the 5 month mark she told me he hasn't tried having sex with her at all and it made her very self concious. She felt it was her fault, he wasn't attracted, etc. A few months later they started having sex but he had some ED or something (at age 22) and now she knows why he was avoiding it. So, the reasons behind it matter too and it's important to communicate that or your partner may get worried. I think it's more the reasoning behind it rather than the sex itself that bothers partners. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
daletom Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Until you are both ready to be each other's life partner. We were wedding-night virgins at 23, one year plus two weeks after we first met face-to-face. I probably would have had sex with her a few months sooner but was quite willing to wait until she was ready and thought it was right. She made it clear early in our relationship that she wanted to be a virgin when her wedding day started - but expected to have plenty of sex afterward. In almost 39 years since then, we have both enjoyed sex A LOT, and enjoyed A LOT of sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
daletom Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I don't think I could wait very long for kissing or holding hands though... Holding hands on the first date (which was the day we met) was a very pleasant experience. Her willingness and apparent pleasure at the gesture was a little unexpected. It was absolutely thrilling at the end of the first date when she not only let me kiss her, but actually kissed back - REALLY kissed back! We exchanged virginity (I gave her mine, and she offered hers) one year plus two weeks later. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 How long would you be willing to wait to have sex with someone you like? Hmmmm....depends on how often we go on dates. If we are talking long dates, where theres chemistry, Id say about 5 or so dates. So like maybe a month or a bit more if you wanna put a days mark on it. However, tbh, this has never been an issue for me. With the women Ive slept with, the chemistry was always high, so with the exception of 1 ex, its always happened naturally within 3 weeks. And with my ex, she was 19, I was 22, and she was still a virgin. I loved her and realized how big a thing virginity is to a girl who waits to that age. So it didnt happen till 4 months with that relationship. However, we still did everything else within the first few weeks =P Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 If he's any good you'll be ready sooner than you know it. If he's no good at making you ready then don't even bother. This exactly. Not to toot my own horn, but Id say Im a fairly competent and giving lover....and I know what passion should feel like. And because of this, Ive never had to wait long for sexy time. what do you do in the 2 or 3 months? Do you get mad if the girl says she does not want to? Do you get mad if you fool around and then in the end she says she's not ready to go all the way? Ive had girls say they dont wanna rush, but then we do things in the heat of passion anyways. And more often than not, they are the ones pushing for it. However, I will say the last girl I really liked has made me rethink things. I may start holding girls back and be more in control over my hormones in the future, so I dont get burned. Plus this girl always worried if we had sex to fast or if I was judging her because of it...even though I constantly told her things were fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Wait for when you feel comfortable enough to engage in sex. Don't worry about his pace since most guys are more than happy to get it sooner and will apply subtle to harsh pressure, somewhat uncaring in their dedicated enthusiasm to get sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JonasB Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 How long would you be willing to wait to have sex with someone you like? 3-5 dates at most, if it doesn't happen by then there's no sexual chemistry. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Holding hands on the first date (which was the day we met) was a very pleasant experience. Her willingness and apparent pleasure at the gesture was a little unexpected. It was absolutely thrilling at the end of the first date when she not only let me kiss her, but actually kissed back - REALLY kissed back! We exchanged virginity (I gave her mine, and she offered hers) one year plus two weeks later. Well, I'm still waiting for my first kiss and first time having a girl willingly hold my hand. And I'm 25. So, maybe I can wait a long time for that too... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 No timeline. Whenever it happens, it happens. But as I've gotten older, the time has gotten shorter... Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Hmm well unless your a virgin, I tend to only go for partners where we are so attracted and turned on by each other, that we cannot help ourselves. If I can easily wait weeks or months, then yeah.. I would question if they had a low sex drive, or just weren't that attracted to me. I would not do it within the first.. couple of dates. But once a mutual attraction has been established and things feel right, then yeah. Any time is right for me! 2 weeks to a month I think, for me. I am mid 20's... And I love sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 3-5 dates at most, if it doesn't happen by then there's no sexual chemistry. I Agree! The only exceptions are with people who have a certain cultural, personal, or religious conviction that leads certain partners to want to wait a certain amount of time for sex (for instance, MARRIAGE), in spite of the fact that they have high sexual chemistry. Still. It does not sound that fun for two people to have high ish sex drives, be mutually very into each other physically, and to want to have sex like crazy yet deprive yourself from it. That is the thing I do not get about religion; to me, that is holding yourself back from experiencing something wonderful about life. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Longest was 6 weeks for me, shortest umm... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Longest was 6 weeks for me, shortest umm... 6 minutes? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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