Would you accept an date via text?

[emuchic]

ladies, just throwing this out there. For a second date (note, he did not call or text for 5 days after our first date, this really irked me) would you accept via text?

 

men, would you ask a new girl out via text? does it reflect your level of interest?

 

Also, perhaps my xx chromosomes are parsing thru words- but is there a difference between "do you want to meet for dinner?" and "can i take you out for dinner?"

 

Maybe this is the new thing, but as a professional woman in her 30's I'd much prefer someone to call and explicitly ask me out. Am I asking too much? Am I over-thinking this entirely too much?

[todreaminblue]

ladies, just throwing this out there. For a second date (note, he did not call or text for 5 days after our first date, this really irked me) would you accept via text?

 

men, would you ask a new girl out via text? does it reflect your level of interest?

 

Also, perhaps my xx chromosomes are parsing thru words- but is there a difference between "do you want to meet for dinner?" and "can i take you out for dinner?"

 

Maybe this is the new thing, but as a professional woman in her 30's I'd much prefer someone to call and explicitly ask me out. Am I asking too much? Am I over-thinking this entirely too much?

 

 

do you want to go out to dinner is indirect....... can i take you to dinner ...direct......

 

i dont know as a woman in her forties....i prefer a man to ask in person.....a at least a phone call anyway....texting is good....but some things need to be done the old fashioned way.....that is only a personal preference though...deb

[sillyanswer]

men, would you ask a new girl out via text? does it reflect your level of interest?

 

I don't have a "rule" about this because that would be foolishly restrictive. I have asked a new girl out via text, and sometimes I've called. No, it doesn't reflect my level of interest.

 

Fairly recent example - we were texting during the day while at work and a phone call would probably not be appropriate. The text conversation somehow naturally came around to talking about events to go to, so it made sense to ask her out.

 

Also, perhaps my xx chromosomes are parsing thru words- but is there a difference between "do you want to meet for dinner?" and "can i take you out for dinner?"

 

Maybe this is the new thing, but as a professional woman in her 30's I'd much prefer someone to call and explicitly ask me out. Am I asking too much? Am I over-thinking this entirely too much?

 

You can ask for the moon on a stick so long as you take responsibility for your own disappointment when your latest beau doesn't deliver.

 

I mean, you can set whatever criteria you like... it's your dating life! Not everyone will meet up to your standards, and if you think they are important to you then lowering them won't make you happy.

 

Yes, you're probably over-thinking it.

[wisernow]

Why not just text him and ask him to give you a call so you can make plans. And yes, I believe your over thinking this. Now, if he were to purpose marriage via text, I'd run.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I'm 22 and in college and mostly online date so to me everything happens via text. In 8 years hopefully I will be past that point though

[emuchic]

I'm 22 and in college and mostly online date so to me everything happens via text. In 8 years hopefully I will be past that point though

 

Well I'm 33 and he is 36- that might make things different.

 

Thanks everyone for your replies- I just don't see myself compromising on this one..... if he wants to see me bad enough, he'll call. He seems like a serial dater/cycler anyways. Oh well.

[BluEyeL]

I say don't sweat it, I would accept a date with someone I like, through any means, including pigeons.

[wisernow]

Well I'm 33 and he is 36- that might make things different.

 

Thanks everyone for your replies- I just don't see myself compromising on this one..... if he wants to see me bad enough, he'll call. He seems like a serial dater/cycler anyways. Oh well.

 

I hear you. Perhaps tell him the truth, instead of saying nothing. Just tell him that you don't date via text message, and if he wants to ask you out, you'd appreciate a phone call.

[BluEyeL]

Well I'm 33 and he is 36- that might make things different.

 

Thanks everyone for your replies- I just don't see myself compromising on this one..... if he wants to see me bad enough, he'll call. He seems like a serial dater/cycler anyways. Oh well.

 

I don't know about this particular guy, but if you get stuck on only accepting dates via phone, you are making a mistake and might miss out in the future. Just saying.

[Robman9911]

I hear you. Perhaps tell him the truth, instead of saying nothing. Just tell him that you don't date via text message, and if he wants to ask you out, you'd appreciate a phone call.

 

Nothing worse than assuming he knows what you want...

 

What if he sent via Pony Express?

[crederer]

I'm going to guess he is nervous and thinks he might be rejected, which is why he waited so long and also why he sent a text. It's easier to be rejected via text than in person or on the phone.

 

I'd give him a shot and just let him know you prefer if he asked you in person or on the phone. You don't have anything to lose at this point. And I've been where he is too. I figured out pretty quickly my success rates go way up if I actually phone.

[outsidethebox]

Is this after first date when you have each other phone numbers and it's a matter of calling versus texting? First date is often not an option, you don't have their phone number.

 

If you have the phone number, it depends whether in midst of texting with each other or out of blue. If not in midst of a texting conversation and saying hey how about such and such, to contact someone via text on their phone instead of calling their phone to ask for date is pretty bizarre imo.

[Phoe]

My ex asked me out on our 2nd date via text, and I was fine with that.

[outsidethebox]

Good point, Phoe, the familiarity does make a difference though imo.

[soccerrprp]

As a guy, I would never ask a woman out via text. In fact, I always ask at the end of the previous date. I don't wait. If I like her and it's clear that she likes me, I ask then and there, face to face.

[pyramid]

ladies, just throwing this out there. For a second date (note, he did not call or text for 5 days after our first date, this really irked me) would you accept via text?

 

Yes, I have no problem with being asked out via text. 5 days of no contact after a first date isn't a great sign, but not a deal breaker.

[emuchic]

As a guy, I would never ask a woman out via text. In fact, I always ask at the end of the previous date. I don't wait. If I like her and it's clear that she likes me, I ask then and there, face to face.

 

He did ask me then and there on our first date...but I had plans (friend from out of town).

[emuchic]

Yes, I have no problem with being asked out via text. 5 days of no contact after a first date isn't a great sign, but not a deal breaker.

 

I agree about the 5 days no contact after first date not being a great sign... I think it's THAT coupled with the text that makes me hesitant to say yes.

 

If he had texted me straight away after our date thanking me, telling me he had a great time and asking to do it again on a specific date-- that would be fine via text.

[cdt76]

I do more texting than I do talking on the phone. In fact, talking on the phone annoys me to a point unless I'm really interested in the girl. And I'm 42. This is the new era. Computers, online dating, cell phones. It's much easier to communicate through text. If a second date looks promising and I'm very interested in the girl, I call. If I'm still trying to gage her interest, text is definitely the way to go. First it allows her to gently and comfortably let me down easy without direct contact. I appreciate that because then I can just move on. Second, it allows me the ability to save face and self esteem if she turns me down. Now this waiting period issue. This is a woman thing. Some want it some don't. How to tell the difference is impossible because women change the rules daily. If I like a woman, I tell her that I'm interested and she can do with that what she wants. But I don't play games. Either yes I like her or no or lets have another date and find out more.

[Mr_Flay]

Where I'm from, people are so used to texting that it might actually be awkward to call. Think about it: if you call, she has to answer immediately or return the call later (many girls find it awkward). Maybe she's in the middle of something, or with her friends or family, so she's embarrassed about having a conversation about a date in front of them. Also, it puts her on the spot, so she might be pressured to agree at the time, but flake later.

 

First dates are always a sensitive period. With texting, it's more convenient to think before replying, and easier to be flirtatious, otherwise your voice might tremble in a telephone conversation.

[Star Gazer]

Why not just text him and ask him to give you a call so you can make plans. And yes, I believe your over thinking this. Now, if he were to purpose marriage via text, I'd run.

 

This is what I would do.

 

IME, first dates are set up by phone, but subsequent dates can be by any medium.

[Mr_Flay]

IME, first dates are set up by phone

 

Or better yet, in person.

[tricolors]

I frequently communicate with text with the woman I'm involved with. She's 40, I'm 33. Personally, I didn't even begin to text ANYONE until maybe two years ago, when I was finally forced into it, as I was just meeting too many friends both male and female, who are intent on using it. So it was either start texting or not talk to them at all outside of face to face meetings. I'm finding even many 35+ year old people are all about texting these days...the vast majority of my friends are 35+ years old.

 

As for dates: I've both initiated them, and she has initiated them over text, BUT...we always speak on the phone the day before and actually talk about what we're going to do. This isn't someone I met online, I knew her in person, so I asked her in person the first time. I don't think I personally would ask someone out on a FIRST date over text...but again, that's probably a demographic thing, young people probably don't have a problem with it.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with someone purely asking you out via text, though, especially considering your age range.

[Art_Critic]

If you accept a date via text then he has to accept the breakup via text too

[Estate]

ladies, just throwing this out there. For a second date (note, he did not call or text for 5 days after our first date, this really irked me) would you accept via text?

 

men, would you ask a new girl out via text? does it reflect your level of interest?

 

Also, perhaps my xx chromosomes are parsing thru words- but is there a difference between "do you want to meet for dinner?" and "can i take you out for dinner?"

 

Maybe this is the new thing, but as a professional woman in her 30's I'd much prefer someone to call and explicitly ask me out. Am I asking too much? Am I over-thinking this entirely too much?

 

Unfortunately this is the way of the world. Infact some people actually DON'T like to talk on the phone before really knowing someone.

 

Being "irked" by a text invite is just being old fashioned. I know some people hold other to "standards" but this is a social norm now. It doesn't reflect anything on his part.

 

Would I do it? Yes, early on everything is done via text. Calling someone for a date is something that was done when you had no option but to call a girls housephone and her dad would answer. This is 2013. It actually "irks" me more when girls actually get upset over this. When I know the person and have a reason to have a phone conversation, I will call them.

 

Is there a difference between those two ways of asking someone out? Nope, absolutely not.

 

Are you being too picky? Sorry but yes.