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Girlfriend wants me to get rid of my toys, will this show her how much i love her?

Driftking102

By Driftking102
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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

Posted
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Hello All.

 

Discussion came up with my current girlfriend a couple months ago. She wants me to get rid of all my toys. By toys I mean plastic figures and collectibles that I have had forever. I have been in the process of getting rid of them and have had gotten rid of a lot of them. Still have a few more to get rid of. I also got rid of all of my graphic T-shirts and bought new T-shirts and went shopping with my girlfriend to make sure she knows which ones she liked on me and which ones she didnt. No she is not controlling me because I get the final say in the end of what i want to wear.

 

I am just wondering, by growing up and getting rid of my toys, will this tell her that I am ready for a long term relationship with her/ that I love her? We have only been going out around 10 months and I feel our relationship is pretty strong. She just thinks I should grow up and I am trying to. I kept this stuff so long thinking I would keep it forever, but the more I thought about it the more it will collect dust. I have sold a lot of stuff for a lot of money and this had made my girlfriend very happy because we got to spend the extra money on ourselves. I find that my girlfriend and having memories with my girlfriend is more important then stuff.

 

What do you guys think? By doing this am I showing her that I love her and can part with my plastic toys? I also hope she will never forget that I did this for her because I love her very much.

iKING Established Member

iKING

Posted
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This will be more for you, then it is for her. There'll come a time when you need to move on. It could be a show of affection in her eyes, but you never know, this isn't "the 40 year old virgin" or anything.

 

Hit the Ebay and make yourself some sweet cash I say. :)

TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

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I'm going to say No.

 

Few things...

 

Only make changes for yourself. Your GF should love you for who you are. This includes a few nerdy shirts, figures, art, etc.

 

Doing this does make you seem less masculine too.

 

Having a GF and memories with her is more important than "stuff" but your things are also a representation and expression of who you are...

 

Yes there is room to compromise but I would definitely not let a women change my entire wardrobe. Find some common room in the middle and don't go 100% to what she wants is the best option.

  • Like 5
CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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WTF! Why should she care if you keep your plastic toys??? I think that's total BS. Sorry to me that's a huge red flag.

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KraftDinner Established Member

KraftDinner

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No no no no no no no no no no no no no no

 

Do NOT give stuff away to prove anything to anyone. Except for maybe excessive porn or something gross.

 

She is controlling if she tells you what you need to do to "grow up."

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hppr Established Member

hppr

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No.

 

The manly thing to do is to sell your toys and buy even more expensive toys, that's what I did. If she doesn't like it, TOUGH, it's YOUR MONEY.

  • Like 2
todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted
Hello All.

 

Discussion came up with my current girlfriend a couple months ago. She wants me to get rid of all my toys. By toys I mean plastic figures and collectibles that I have had forever. I have been in the process of getting rid of them and have had gotten rid of a lot of them. Still have a few more to get rid of. I also got rid of all of my graphic T-shirts and bought new T-shirts and went shopping with my girlfriend to make sure she knows which ones she liked on me and which ones she didnt. No she is not controlling me because I get the final say in the end of what i want to wear.

 

I am just wondering, by growing up and getting rid of my toys, will this tell her that I am ready for a long term relationship with her/ that I love her? We have only been going out around 10 months and I feel our relationship is pretty strong. She just thinks I should grow up and I am trying to. I kept this stuff so long thinking I would keep it forever, but the more I thought about it the more it will collect dust. I have sold a lot of stuff for a lot of money and this had made my girlfriend very happy because we got to spend the extra money on ourselves. I find that my girlfriend and having memories with my girlfriend is more important then stuff.

 

What do you guys think? By doing this am I showing her that I love her and can part with my plastic toys? I also hope she will never forget that I did this for her because I love her very much.

 

 

 

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things...
..king james bible version

 

 

 

in this i dont think you have to give them away ...put them away maybe....but share them with your children when you have them, a touch of your childhood bought into theirs......i cant even imagine nor do i say i know what the thoughts of god would be so complex so perfect so deep about this simple truth........i do know this he wants us to be as children, to not lose that innocence and enquiring mind.....maybe a way we can use this is....to relate to future generations

 

 

a time to play with our children as we once did and enjoy for such a short time our mortality.......so put away your toys for now...dont give them away they are something you can share another time another day .....keep the special ones.....pass them down genration to generation ...either with this girlfriend or the next one ...they are yours and your children's slice of history...slices of childhoods.....a time to play......

 

 

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven ~

2 A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up.

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.

5 A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.

6 A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away.

7 A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak.

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.

 

 

 

cheers to you....deb

pyramid Established Member

pyramid

Posted
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I think it's great that you are getting rid of the stuff. It's also great that she helped you realize it was time to grow up. If you are doing it FOR her to prove that you love her... that seems immature to me.

 

The thing about love is that it's not tit for tat. She will see it as a positive sign. Will it make her fall in love with you? Probably not.

iKING Established Member

iKING

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Men in this thread so far "We want our toys!"

 

Women in this thread so far "Oh grow up.."

  • Like 3
MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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Insanity. Let's look at it objectively here. Let's replace "toys" with anything else. Toys is not the issue here. The issue here is someone making you get rid of something you love.

 

And then if you break up (break ups have been known to happen fairly often) you've lost both your partner and the stuff you loved before they came into the picture.

 

People are supposed to love you for you.

 

Don't get rid of your toys, or anything else someone tells you to get rid of.

  • Like 3
Standard-Fare Established Member

Standard-Fare

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I think it would be very helpful to know how old Driftking is. If he's early 20s, maybe his girlfriend is being kind of a nag. If he's early 30s, she has a decent point but it shouldn't have been a requirement. If he's early 40s... she might have a right to make that request.

 

That's one woman's opinion. I'm 32 and I wouldn't be terribly pleased to be dating someone who showed more than a mild interest in children's toys/figurines. I mean, a few collectables is one thing, but if it was anything more than that I'd see it as a red flag. Not sure exactly how I'd handle it, though. Would feel like a b*tch making someone get rid of something they got pleasure from.

hppr Established Member

hppr

Posted
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Men in this thread so far "We want our toys!"

 

Women in this thread so far "Oh grow up.."

 

Yeap, but women aren't attracted to the men who acquiesce to them and 'grow up.' They don't respect them.

 

And yes I want my toys...I would rather be a single guy with lots of toys than a man married to a woman who took them away in exchange for 5mins of sex twice a week and a bj on my birthday...doesn't sound like love to me...

  • Like 3
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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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I'm in my 20's. I would rather have her and let her know that I got rid of the toys and am going to be more adult then have the stuff and be lonely. I had way tooo many toys and my girlfriend say that saw thats why i think she said it was time to get rid of them. I had toys way back from when I was a kid.

iKING Established Member

iKING

Posted
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Yeap, but women aren't attracted to the men who acquiesce to them and 'grow up.' They don't respect them.

 

And yes I want my toys...I would rather be a single guy with lots of toys than a man married to a woman who took them away in exchange for 5mins of sex twice a week and a bj on my birthday...doesn't sound like love to me...

 

I seriously doubt any woman is going to respect you more for clinging to childhood toys.

 

If this were a matter of something else, I would likely be more obliged to side on the don't change yourself or anything you do for anyone else side, but this is something we all need to grow out of at some point.

 

OP shouldn't do this for his girlfriend, he should do it for him, should he choose to do it. Whatever makes him happy and feel secure though, I'm not here to judge what's right and what's wrong.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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^I've already gotten rid of half my collection. Just in the process of getting rid of my other half. It takes a lot longer then one would seem.

Lani Established Member

Lani

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First up, I came into this thread because I thought we were talking sex toys.. A little disappointed to be honest.

 

Anyway, as most people have said, you should be doing this for yourself.

If you really want to keep them, then do so. If she has a problem with it, then she has a problem with part of who you are, and in that case she shouldn't be with you. It sounds extreme, but if you think about it, it's not just about the toys, is it?

 

Plus, that money is yours! If you want to spend some of it on her then do that, but you've held onto those things that are making you money, invest that back into yourself.

 

Don't be changing parts of yourself to suit a woman. Things can change with us in an instant.

  • Like 1
kiss_andmakeup Established Member

kiss_andmakeup

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First up, I came into this thread because I thought we were talking sex toys..

 

Me too! I thought the OP would be a long soliloquy morning the loss of his fleshlight collection...

  • Like 2
hppr Established Member

hppr

Posted
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^I've already gotten rid of half my collection. Just in the process of getting rid of my other half. It takes a lot longer then one would seem.

 

Unless it's chump change you better be using it for bigger and better toys. That's the great thing about being a man, your toys can go VROOM and BOOM...

iKING Established Member

iKING

Posted
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Unless it's chump change you better be using it for bigger and better toys. That's the great thing about being a man, your toys can go VROOM and BOOM...

 

Get a quad with the money, she'll probably enjoy it more.

 

Those are grown up toys. :laugh:

ja123 Established Member

ja123

Posted
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I'm a woman, and I think it'd be wrong to get rid of your stuff.

 

I agree with what ToucedByViolet said.

 

Heck, I know guys who are in their 30s and 40s who have their toys and go to Comic-Con, etc. They're normal, well-adjusted men. Let them have their toys as it makes them happy! Nothing at all wrong with it.

  • Like 1
Djz05 Established Member

Djz05

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Dont get rid of them if you are doing it for her. Do it if you feel you want to let them go and are doing it for yourself.

 

Its like my brothers, both married and living happy lives. One collects halo memorabilia and gijoes. The other collects comics and books (he has a library). I collect mtg cards, videogames and buy aftermarket parts for my car. Its y money and I can buy whatever I want (with in reason).

 

If the girl i dated has any issues about my collection, then that does not bode well. I cant be myself around her and that is not good.

  • Like 1
CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

Posted
Posted

This situation reminds me of the movie Free Enterprise with William Shatner and Eric McCormack (Will and Grace). It's an obscure romantic comedy that has gained quite a cult following and is best described as Swingers for geeks. It's actually pretty damn funny and I highly recommend it to anyone who has geeky interests like comic books or sci-fi. One of the protagonists struggles with his hot GFs always trying to get him to grow up and get rid of his toys. One day he meets this girl, Claire, who not only doesn't ask him to throw away his toys, but she collects them too! He's instantly in love, but their relationship eventually runs into the same problems as all his past failed relationships. He won't grow up. The toys are a reflection of that, but not the root of the problem. In the happy Hollywood ending, he grows up AND keeps his toys. Not so simple in real life but still some lessons to be learned from the movie. Me personally, I'm opting to keep my toys and am searching for my Claire...

  • Like 1
ChatroomHero Established Member

ChatroomHero

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It sounds like you want to get rid of them and are not having a problem with that so I am not sure if it is you doing it for her so much so that is ok.

 

You just need to decide if she left you next week if you would care that you sold your stuff or not. If she dumped you tomorrow would you wish you hadn't sold them?

 

I guarantee you she has some childish things from her childhood somewhere. She'll have a favorite stuffed animals, barbies, figurines... something that you would find less than mature, a lot of people do. I don't think it's a maturity thing unless you are actively having battles in the bath tub with Star Wars figures.

 

Great. Now that I have thought about it I have to go to my parent's house and find my Star Wars stuff so I can have a battle in the bath tub.

  • Like 1
Lani Established Member

Lani

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Posted
It sounds like you want to get rid of them and are not having a problem with that so I am not sure if it is you doing it for her so much so that is ok.

 

You just need to decide if she left you next week if you would care that you sold your stuff or not. If she dumped you tomorrow would you wish you hadn't sold them?

 

I guarantee you she has some childish things from her childhood somewhere. She'll have a favorite stuffed animals, barbies, figurines... something that you would find less than mature, a lot of people do. I don't think it's a maturity thing unless you are actively having battles in the bath tub with Star Wars figures.

 

Great. Now that I have thought about it I have to go to my parent's house and find my Star Wars stuff so I can have a battle in the bath tub.

 

Bathtub battles are the bomb!

I also used to make rapids for my barbies. To this day, Barbie Rapids is still my best childhood memory.

mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

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I don't like that sound of this. Not for the fact that she wants you to get rid of your toys and clothes, but she's asking you, if not demanding, that you be something that you are not. I personally would not mind if a guy I was seeing had toys or graphic T shirts, it's not hurting anyone or anything. Getting rid of these things is not going to make you "grow up", only life/experiences can make you grow up.

 

But speaking about the gf, I don't like the fact that she is trying to make you do something you don't want to. If you honestly want to get rid of them, then that's your business. This will not be the first demand that she will put on you, and it will not be the last. Then you will not be happy with yourself that you gave into it. Just think about that one.

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