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So my friend zoned friend told me to....


mammasita

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go eff myself because I didn't want to go out on a "real" date with him. He also dislikes the fact that I say Im looking for a relationship on my dating profile and don't want to date him.

 

I know, bash away if you must....

 

Anyway, he is still messaging me like he never told me to eff off....a few minutes ago I got a - "Hey whats up"

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He wanted to date you, you rejected him. He is not a friend. He was not interested in your friendship and is bitter over being friend zoned.

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I'm not gonna bash, but why don't you just say "hey, you told me to eff off, now let me"?

 

I did say "didnt you tell me to go eff myself" to which he replied...."yes, you confuse me"

 

I think he's more stubborn than I am.

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bruinbasher

The fact that he told you to go "eff yourself" after you FZ'd him tells you all you need to know about him - who would want to be in a relationship with a guy that tells women to f*** off after they get rejected anyways? You dodged a bullet there.

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he wants to date you, he's into you. You obviously rejected him, but it doesn't mean he still doesn't like you. By maintaining contact, it means that he is right to pursue you, it sort of means you're not cutting him off / he's still got a chance. It's ok to change your mind :). So does he ?

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Any context behind this or did he just randomly tell you to eff yourself?

 

BTW, in his mind, it makes no sense for you to want a relationship and have him in your life and not want to be in a relationship with him.

 

The best thing you can do for the both of you is cut all contact with him.

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I agree with some of the other posters. You rejected him but it sounds like he thinks the "friend-zone" means waiting in the queue for a crack at that azz. You should cut all contact otherwise he's going to keep trying. Maybe you enjoy the validation but it's not really doing him any favors.

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Adult crushes, so cute, so hard to navigate :laugh:

 

He likes you, you declined, he took it hard, realized he doesn't want to lose you entirely (either he wants the friendship or wants to continue pursuing you covertly in hopes you turn to him someday) and yeah, here you are now.

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JuneJulySeptember
go eff myself because I didn't want to go out on a "real" date with him. He also dislikes the fact that I say Im looking for a relationship on my dating profile and don't want to date him.

 

I know, bash away if you must....

 

Anyway, he is still messaging me like he never told me to eff off....a few minutes ago I got a - "Hey whats up"

 

There were times where I was rejected/friendzoned by women and I thought of saying/doing some nasty things.

 

One of the last women to reject me I used to work with and a bunch of the guys at work thought she was unattractive and used to say it all the time. One of the guys met her boyfriend and said that he was way too good for her. TBH, she was probably way more likely to date THOSE guys than me. :lmao:

 

There were times I felt like telling her that stuff, but I never did/do that stuff. There's always stuff a guy can do to put down a woman who friendzones him. But I never do.

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Yes, I'm taking the high road and distancing myself. ...permanently.

 

Last thing he said to me was "not talking?" to which I replied "I think go eff yourself pretty much sums it up"

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He sounds just like my ex from last year! He also would tell me to F off, and then ask me why I wasn't talking to him, and then tell me that I somehow confused him.

 

The problem was that he was an emotionally abusive narcissist, not that he was merely upset because he wanted to date me and I said no.

 

Stop talking to this idiot unless you like being jerked around.

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Last thing he said to me was "not talking?" to which I replied "I think go eff yourself pretty much sums it up"

 

By the way, this is bait. He'll say things like that and get progressively nicer until you crack and reply, and then he'll show his true colors. Just completely block, ignore, whatever.

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/\ yes!!!!

 

I think the bottom line is he has issues that I dont want any part of.

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WTF - this dude just sent me another message saying "if you change your mind and want to talk/hang out sometime let me know"

 

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.

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Just tell him that you can no longer speak to him and then ignore him from then on.

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fortyninethousand322

Look, this dude's use of words is very unfortunate. If he felt like he apparently does, he should have just stopped talking to you and avoided you.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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The saga continues:

 

He apologized - multiple times. I finally spoke to let him know that I have absolutely no interest in dating him and he STILL wants to be friends.

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Cutiepie1976

I agree 100% with monicaelise.

 

Obviously, it's a very bad idea! You're a smart woman. Why even consider such a request?!? He told you to F off. Ignore his back door approaches! You've F'd off as he disrespectfully requested when he didn't get what he wanted.

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Block him, it's not going to end well. He's not a stable person and you'll end up paying for it if you allow him to stay in your life, even as "just a friend".

 

I didn't think I would have to apply NC to someone I don't really care about :p

 

Point taken. He's gonna have a conniption when I delete him from facebook.

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What's wrong with him anyway? Too fat, too skinny, unemployed, not enough hair, doesn't know how to talk to you, doesn't like battlestar galactica? :confused:

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I didn't think I would have to apply NC to someone I don't really care about :p

 

Point taken. He's gonna have a conniption when I delete him from facebook.

 

It is a shame that you have to do this, but you have to do it. This is the perfect example why men and women can not be friends. One is going to want more. In fact what you are going through is quite common in men and women platonic relationships.

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None of my platonic male friends have ever told me to eff off...ever. This man is not her platonic friend, nor does he want her friendship. He's an ass angling for something entirely UNplatonic under the guise of "just being friends".

 

I completely agree with this statement. He is not the first and will not be the last to pull this stunt.

 

Friendships between men and women are not only entirely possible but can also be extremely rewarding. That is not what is being sought by the person asking for it in this case, however.

I understand that it is possible, and I absolutely believe that it is rewarding, but it is difficult for the majority of people. I have seen many, many times these so called friendship go the way side, because of the following:

 

 

  • Husband/Wife was jealous of the friendship
  • Boyfriend/Girlfriend was jealous of the friendship
  • One of the so called "friend" wanted more

 

All of the above stand in the way of male/female friendships and they are very common roadblocks for these friendship to continue. One last comment. I have no idea how many male friends you have, but unless they are all gay, I guarantee one of them wants to take it further. What people say and do may not always be what is in their mind.;)

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LOL! Or just a bit mental.

 

I feel your pain, BTDT.

 

Personally I think keeping people around that want to date you when you don't want to date them is mental also.

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I completely agree with this statement. He is not the first and will not be the last to pull this stunt.

 

I understand that it is possible, and I absolutely believe that it is rewarding, but it is difficult for the majority of people. I have seen many, many times these so called friendship go the way side, because of the following:

 

 

  • Husband/Wife was jealous of the friendship
  • Boyfriend/Girlfriend was jealous of the friendship
  • One of the so called "friend" wanted more

 

All of the above stand in the way of male/female friendships and they are very common roadblocks for these friendship to continue. One last comment. I have no idea how many male friends you have, but unless they are all gay, I guarantee one of them wants to take it further. What people say and do may not always be what is in their mind.;)

 

I have honestly tried to be friends with women.

I can be just friends with attractive women.

I don't catch feelings for women who have nothing to offer me.

I may like them & want more but if they're not into me & they are not annoying I can hang with them & just go looking for other women.

 

Problem is EVERY TIME when I become "just friends" with a woman they try to chump me, cock-block me, act crazy by flirting hard with me then going "woah! we are just friends" essentially they don't want to get with me but don't want me getting with anyone else & it blows my fricken mind.

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