Give me some chasing stories

[JuneJulySeptember]

I've seen a few threads on it, chasing that is. One of my hard, fast rules that I've developed after years upon years of rejection is "Never chase a woman after the first no."

 

But I would like to hear some stories on it. Kind of like a lazy Sunday, Parade magazine, pre-Superbowl read.

 

Guys, do you have any stories of women saying no at first, or multiple times but eventually winning her over?

 

Gals, do you have any stories of you turning a man down for whatever reason (no interest, playing hard to get) but he eventually kept coming at you and you got together?

[superb]

I've seen a few threads on it, chasing that is. One of my hard, fast rules that I've developed after years upon years of rejection is "Never chase a woman after the first no."

 

But I would like to hear some stories on it. Kind of like a lazy Sunday, Parade magazine, pre-Superbowl read.

 

Guys, do you have any stories of women saying no at first, or multiple times but eventually winning her over?

 

Gals, do you have any stories of you turning a man down for whatever reason (no interest, playing hard to get) but he eventually kept coming at you and you got together?

 

I have a friend who has been chasing me for 1 and a half years. I have no interest in him romantically and he knows. I met him online. He begged for my #, after 6 months I obliged because he is a nice person and I don't mind being friends with him at all. However, everyday...no matter what he text me "hey beautiful, hey gorgeousness, hey dream woman" etc.

He constantly asks me out and if he didn't have agenda to get with me I'd hang out with him, I'm afraid if I do meet up with him he'll assume I want to be with him and I don't want him to get the wrong idea. He freaks me out. I told him that too. He's convinced he can "save me", since he knows my dating blunders but I'm not feeling it. I doubt I'll ever feel it like that for him. I actually wish he'd stop so we can just be friends only. Sometimes I think I should change my # to get rid of it, it sometimes really bothers me. Then again, he's been a nice friend to me so I like him in that role.

Chasing is fun when the other person enjoys it. Chasing is not fun when the other person fears it.

[mesmerized]

I only went out with one guy who I wasn't sure about at first and said no to. We dated for about a year but honestly, I never really took him too seriously and ended up breaking his heart.

[xxoo]

Chasing to me is about steadily building interest, from none to a glimmer, and glimmer to a spark, and a spark to a fire. It isn't about pushing after hearing "no".

[somedude81]

I'd love to hear a story of a woman changing her mind. From what I've experienced, once a no, always a no.

 

I have a friend who has been chasing me for 1 and a half years. I have no interest in him romantically and he knows. I met him online. He begged for my #, after 6 months I obliged because he is a nice person and I don't mind being friends with him at all. However, everyday...no matter what he text me "hey beautiful, hey gorgeousness, hey dream woman" etc.

He constantly asks me out and if he didn't have agenda to get with me I'd hang out with him, I'm afraid if I do meet up with him he'll assume I want to be with him and I don't want him to get the wrong idea. He freaks me out. I told him that too. He's convinced he can "save me", since he knows my dating blunders but I'm not feeling it. I doubt I'll ever feel it like that for him. I actually wish he'd stop so we can just be friends only. Sometimes I think I should change my # to get rid of it, it sometimes really bothers me. Then again, he's been a nice friend to me so I like him in that role.

Chasing is fun when the other person enjoys it. Chasing is not fun when the other person fears it.

You know, you could act like an mature person and tell him to leave you alone.

 

And no, please don't say that you want to be his friend. You should already know that you can't be friends.

[iris219]

My boyfriend didn’t chase me in that he asked me out continually, but he attempted to make his presence known, even though I wasn’t receptive. I was cordial, but distant because I wasn’t interested in him and I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

 

He was persistent, but not flirtatious. He introduced himself to me in August though we know of each other before that; we didn’t go on a date until December.

 

He would show up where he knew I’d be, sometimes twice a week. I started to think he was kind of weird. When he finally did ask me out I pretended he meant a group thing and I said I’d see who wanted to go and let him know. I never let him know. He asked again, so I finally went out with him. I figured what the heck. The holidays are boring and lonely for me, so I thought it would be nice to have something to do.

 

The first date was really good and a lot of fun. It was pretty much love by the third or fourth date.

 

Now, I think he’s amazing.

[mesmerized]

My boyfriend didn’t chase me in that he asked me out continually, but he attempted to make his presence known, even though I wasn’t receptive. I was cordial, but distant because I wasn’t interested in him and I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

 

He was persistent, but not flirtatious. He introduced himself to me in August though we know of each other before that; we didn’t go on a date until December.

 

He would show up where he knew I’d be, sometimes twice a week. I started to think he was kind of weird. When he finally did ask me out I pretended he meant a group thing and I said I’d see who wanted to go and let him know. I never let him know. He asked again, so I finally went out with him. I figured what the heck. The holidays are boring and lonely for me, so I thought it would be nice to have something to do.

 

The first date was really good and a lot of fun. It was pretty much love by the third or fourth date.

 

Now, I think he’s amazing.

 

Wait, what? You have a boyfriend? congrats girl. It's not the older guy you worked with, is it?

[iris219]

Wait, what? You have a boyfriend? congrats girl. It's not the older guy you worked with, is it?

 

Thanks! Some days I can't believe it! Everything is so good with us right now.

 

It's not the old guy. I don't know what I was thinking there. This one is a year younger than me.

[superb]

I'd love to hear a story of a woman changing her mind. From what I've experienced, once a no, always a no.

 

 

You know, you could act like an mature person and tell him to leave you alone.

 

And no, please don't say that you want to be his friend. You should already know that you can't be friends.

 

Just because I don't want to be with him like that doesn't mean I'm immature. He knows, he's known. The fact that he keeps chasing me isn't my fault if I haven't let him on. Why can't women and men just be friends?

[Keenly]

Lets see.... There was a girl i chased when I was a sophomore in high school, and while I wasn't able to win her over then, in 2010 I was able to get her into the sack a few times.

 

There was a girl I worked with I would hit on all the time, she was pretty hot. She would always say no, and never actually said "I have a boyfriend" until I had been hitting on her for several months.

 

I kept hitting on her because I was 17 and didn't care about that stuff and eventually we started hooking up at my place.

[superb]

I'd love to hear a story of a woman changing her mind. From what I've experienced, once a no, always a no.

 

 

You know, you could act like an mature person and tell him to leave you alone.

 

And no, please don't say that you want to be his friend. You should already know that you can't be friends.

 

That cut me deep somedude

[candie13]

The guy I am currently seeing is a funny story.

 

I met him at a dance class in September. I can't say he is the most dashing or the most fascinating guy in the world, but he works for a large auction house, in the jewelry department and I happen to love art (and nice jewelry) so we had a good chat. He gave me his business card and asked me to drop him a line one, so that he cound send me some nice links about famous jewelry in paintings. We had a good chemistry (sort of), we danced, but didn't pursue me in any other way - didn't as for my telephone number.

 

I wasn't terribly attracted to him either, but he was an interesting guy. The level of the dance class was too low for me, so I didn't attend any other class at that dance school.

 

We live in a fairly small city where nice cafes are difficult to find, and I was hanging around there, with my friends, reading or doing some work. We ran into each other a few weeks after the class, and had a nice conversation. Nothing special - same invitation, "do drop me a line one of these days". Another few weeks pass, we run into each other in bars - we say hi, he's all into - "how about that email?".

 

We meet again at the coffee shop - I was by myself. He comes over and we have a really nice, one hour conversation about different subjects. Same invitation - I was still hesitating - don't think I was all that interested in dating, was focused on my work.

 

Another few random meetings, and I don't know, last time we caught up at the coffee place, he was really spontaneous and said something really insightful to me, as I was having a tough work situation, and he impressed me. This time, no pressure, no hint.

 

So a few days later, I dropped him a line - beginning of December. We talked about out holidays - he was going to Argentina, I was going in Malaysia, and we stop there. He contacted me when he came back from his hols - beginning of Jan, and persuaded me to have a cup of coffee. This time, great conversation, interesting.

 

Don't ask me how, but since that moment, he kept in contact daily and I could sense he was honestly interested in me. He was the one to make the first move, to write funny notes, to ask me to see a film, so little by little, we sort of started to go out together. Asked for my telephone number after 2 weeks, kissed me after the third week, we're doing well. It is still very very early, but if anyone would have asked me before, when I first saw this guy: "would you date him or do you see yourself starting something with him?", I would have honestly said "nope, no way".

 

you never know!

[mesmerized]

Thanks! Some days I can't believe it! Everything is so good with us right now.

 

It's not the old guy. I don't know what I was thinking there. This one is a year younger than me.

 

Why aren't you making a happy thread then?? We heard enough whining, we deserve a share of your happiness and we need details!

[somedude81]

Just because I don't want to be with him like that doesn't mean I'm immature. He knows, he's known. The fact that he keeps chasing me isn't my fault if I haven't let him on. Why can't women and men just be friends?

 

That cut me deep somedude

I'm not saying that you not wanting to be with him makes you immature..

 

The fact that you haven't been stern with him and told him to leave you alone makes you immature.

 

Also wanting to be friends with a guy who is obsessed with you is also pretty immature. No, you can't be just friends with him.

[tbf]

The ex-husband pursued me for two years before I agreed to a first date with him. I didn't like him until he convinced me that my initial impression of him was inaccurate. In retrospect, my initial impression was accurate.

 

My last short-term relationship prior to meeting my current husband, was with an actor who was a neighbor. He initially asked me out, giving me his business card but since I didn't know anything about him, disliking dating strangers even though there was some hot chemistry going on, I didn't bother calling. He subsequently had a dozen white roses delivered, with a smart ass little note. I put my business card under his door after that, where he called and we started dating after that.

[superb]

I'm not saying that you not wanting to be with him makes you immature..

 

The fact that you haven't been stern with him and told him to leave you alone makes you immature.

 

Also wanting to be friends with a guy who is obsessed with you is also pretty immature. No, you can't be just friends with him.

 

I HAVE been stern with him. I think I've handled the situation good, considering I haven't led him on or let him take me on dates. We're friends. If he has a problem with that he can disengage at any time.

[iris219]

Why aren't you making a happy thread then?? We heard enough whining, we deserve a share of your happiness and we need details!

 

I don't know. I started making a thread once and stopped. The idea of posting the thread made me nervous! :laugh:

 

Part of me wanted to get past the infatuation stage before I starting announcing it on LS. I wasn't sure (I'm still not) I could trust my feelings that he was perfect for me because these feelings are probably based on lust at this point. Also, while I'm sure the responses would be mostly positive, I didn't want to deal with any of the negativity, even if it was warranted. And maybe I was just being selfish and keeping him all to myself.

 

I will make a thread soon though.

[Talak7]

Chasing to me is about steadily building interest, from none to a glimmer, and glimmer to a spark, and a spark to a fire. It isn't about pushing after hearing "no".

 

 

Indeed

 

Chasing is more about demonstrating the value that someone doesn't first perceive.

 

I dated my girlfriend for 3 years after chasing her....

 

It's more about being able to look at rejection in the face and be unphased - Continually to be happy and positive about the relationship you do have with the person, and make sure you are not being pressuring/needy/anything.

 

Just do fun things, try to have a fun time, and demonstrate your value. After a month, if nothing comes, leave it alone and just be friends. Months later "try" again. By trying I mean just make more time for them and get re-connected.

 

I've gotten together with about 4-5 girls after initial rejection....its all about knowing that you're better than they see, and being able to present that.

[superb]

I'm not saying that you not wanting to be with him makes you immature..

 

The fact that you haven't been stern with him and told him to leave you alone makes you immature.

 

Also wanting to be friends with a guy who is obsessed with you is also pretty immature. No, you can't be just friends with him.

 

Here are my reasons so I don't come off as a wench.

 

1. He's slept with women I know.

2. He's ALWAYS online.

3. He's severely obese.

 

*Forever friend zoned for being and doing 3 things I don't want to deal with.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Chasing to me is about steadily building interest, from none to a glimmer, and glimmer to a spark, and a spark to a fire. It isn't about pushing after hearing "no".

 

That's not chasing to me. That's 'getting to know her'.

 

Chasing means you've gotten a no at some point.

[neveragain34]

I said no to a guy last summer because I had just started seeing someone and it was getting serious. Last week, the guy I said no to texted out of the blue. We chatted a bit and he asked me out again. This time I said yes since I am no longer with the guy from last summer. Last night we had our third date and I can really see this going somewhere great. :-) I actually found it flattering that this guy was willing to try again which is another reason I gave it a chance. So glad I did!!

 

Don't give up if you feel there could be something there. Maybe she has good reasons now for saying no and just needs that little extra push or time.

[JuneJulySeptember]

My boyfriend didn’t chase me in that he asked me out continually, but he attempted to make his presence known, even though I wasn’t receptive. I was cordial, but distant because I wasn’t interested in him and I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

 

He was persistent, but not flirtatious. He introduced himself to me in August though we know of each other before that; we didn’t go on a date until December.

 

He would show up where he knew I’d be, sometimes twice a week. I started to think he was kind of weird. When he finally did ask me out I pretended he meant a group thing and I said I’d see who wanted to go and let him know. I never let him know. He asked again, so I finally went out with him. I figured what the heck. The holidays are boring and lonely for me, so I thought it would be nice to have something to do.

 

The first date was really good and a lot of fun. It was pretty much love by the third or fourth date.

 

Now, I think he’s amazing.

 

 

Haha.

 

You should have posted in my other thread about 'going on dates'.

 

This is actually the way I feel it works for many women.

[Granin]

So long as a girl isn't evidently repulsed by you and you think she is worth swallowing all your pride, worth trudging through the murky swamps of the friend zone for and she definitely ISN'T using you for material gain then yeah, follow your heart.