What do I do??!

[mauserman]

I will keep this as short as possible.

 

I started having a flirty relationship with a girl at work. She was very touchy, resting her head on me, things like that. I definitely was attracted to her and got her #. After that she got even more flirty (calling me love, more touchy etc). Just before she left for vacation over the holidays I told her that I was interested in her. She didn't really respond, but we hugged and she said bye, but rather quickly. I took it that I just flattered her.

 

But...

 

Over break I texted her Merry Christmas. We didn't text too much after that but later in the day she asked how old I was (we have a 5 year age gap). I told her and asked her why, her saying she was curious. Then like 5 hours later she sends me a text saying she knows her personality is very flirty, and asked me if I knew she had a boyfriend. She then said if you don't want to talk I understand.

 

I told her I didn't and said to not have any worries..she texted me later saying if she was single she'd be all over me..I didn't really respond back to her. The next day she texted me again saying how sorry she is and how bad she feels, worrying that I won't talk to her or act the same around her. She also said she can't wait to see me again. I again told her no worries, and that we'll talk when she comes back.

 

Soooo I have no idea where to go with this. I am very much still interested in this girl and personally feel that she may be torn between me and her boyfriend. Either that or she used the whole boyfriend speech to let me down easily. But why wait that long...I'm utterly confused here. And to top it off her facebook says she's single..What kind of girl who uses facebook doesn't put that they're in a relationship? I also don't understand why she is so torn up about this, and find it interesting that she texted me out of the blue saying how sorry she is..so she is thinking about me. And the way she flirted was very obvious, and from what I saw she never acted like that to all the other guys I work with. All this leads me to feel that she has feelings for me!

 

I have some things in mind to say to her but I want to hear from others first. What is really going on here?

 

Thank you so much

[CptObvious]

As soon as you get back you'll have to go balls out with this girl. Keep flirting and keep pushing for sex. Make her cheat. You've gotta believe you're better than her boyfriend even if he's imaginary. You've gotta believe she still wants your dick bro. Worst case scenario you strike out hard. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

[todreaminblue]

As soon as you get back you'll have to go balls out with this girl. Keep flirting and keep pushing for sex. Make her cheat. You've gotta believe you're better than her boyfriend even if he's imaginary. You've gotta believe she still wants your dick bro. Worst case scenario you strike out hard. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

 

 

Retch......gag....

[todreaminblue]

captain obvious is being captain delusional......you cant chase a girl with a boyfriend let her go no matter hwo interested in her you are she is taken maybe a little confused but she isnt available find soemone who isnt going to hurt you and dont set out to hurt a guy who may or may not be real take it that he is don't disrespect him like you wouldnt like it done to you she is wrong on many levels ......a lot of people dont update their face book status or forget too...i dont know....but whatever reason she has for continuing with you it isnt right.....find someone available ....deb

[mauserman]

I'm not only interested in having sex with her, I feel like I have a connection with this girl and was really interested in getting to know her better.

 

It's really hard because I don't want to let go even though I know I probably should. I was thinking it would be best to just keep a friendly relationship, not pursuing her. Maybe things won't work out with her boyfriend and maybe then I would consider pursuing her again. The only problem is I don't know the best way to iron that out to her..I don't want to lose her friendship but I don't want to become her "best guy friend" (friend zoned) either..I wanted to be more than friends. She seems so upset, thinking that things will change between us and I think inevitably they will.

 

I guess what I'm asking is what's the best way to tell her I'm still interested in her but won't make any moves as long as she has a boyfriend in a respectable manner. I'm not out to cheat with her, or directly make her leave her boyfriend. I figure if she's this confused (and still in to me) she may dump him in the future anyway.

[TaraMaiden]

I'm not only interested in having sex with her, I feel like I have a connection with this girl and was really interested in getting to know her better.

 

Ah, you see.... primary directive - get your dick in.

if you were really interested in her, you'd have put that at the end, not at the beginning...

"I really feel I have a connection with her would love to get to know her better, and of course, sex would be an added bonus - but that's not primarily what this is all about...."

Epic fail, my friend.

You just want to get your leg over, and cuckold her BF.

 

It's really hard because I don't want to let go even though I know I probably should. I was thinking it would be best to just keep a friendly relationship, not pursuing her. Maybe things won't work out with her boyfriend and maybe then I would consider pursuing her again. The only problem is I don't know the best way to iron that out to her..I don't want to lose her friendship but I don't want to become her "best guy friend" (friend zoned) either..I wanted to be more than friends. She seems so upset, thinking that things will change between us and I think inevitably they will.

 

I guess what I'm asking is what's the best way to tell her I'm still interested in her but won't make any moves as long as she has a boyfriend in a respectable manner. I'm not out to cheat with her, or directly make her leave her boyfriend. I figure if she's this confused (and still in to me) she may dump him in the future anyway.

 

Like this:

 

I'm still interested in her but won't make any moves as long as she has a boyfriend.

 

That's all you need to tell her.

 

"Thanks - but while he's on the scene?

No thanks.

Either dump him - or accept you and I are not ever going to shag."

 

That simple, Romeo.

[mauserman]

I put that in there first to address captain obvious...I honestly want this girl, not only for the sex.

 

Sounds like a good plan, keep it truthful and simple.

 

As far as not getting friendzoned though..do I just act the same way I did with her before all this happened? I mean that was enough to get her obviously flirting with me so maybe it will keep her thinking about me/interested?

Edited December 28, 2012 by mauserman