jcrew11 Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I've been thinking, what are a few personality traits that really attract women? What is the key to "having a presence" that turns women's heads? There are some side qualities like good looks, wealth, clothing, haircut, good job. But what kind of personality can really make a strange man captivate a woman? I think having a strong sense of self that can include any of these traits - sense of humor, confidence, reliability, charisma, effective communication and speaking style, always smiling, enthusiasm, friendliness, intelligence, wisdom, savvyness, being cool and calm, or standing out from the crowd of men. I think there are also traits like "being slightly dangerous and a bad boy" makes men interesting to women. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) I'll try to sum it up in one word. Leadership.. The decisiveness to be able to make a decision and the initiative to follow through with your plan. The charisma to motivate others to do something. The competence to earn and command respect. The ability to shine around everyone else, not through words, but actions. And pride in those actions. Just be a person that others want to become. Be a role model for a kid. The "presence" will come naturally. Edited November 23, 2012 by USMCHokie 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I find that different women respond to different traits so improving your personality to attract women is only really applicable to the type of women you hope to attract. It's probably wise to improve your personality as we could all do with becoming more well rounded. But traits that would complement your personality, almost like a fire pokemon with an electricity move (). This is why I used astrology in the beginning, I found facets of my character that would complement the traits I did project naturally. There are some universal traits but that comes under Leadership like already described. I call it "personal authority" more than anything, a term coined by John Alanis. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 There's no such thing as "improving" your personality. Your personality is what it is, except for the margins it's really not changeable. You could be more expressive about your personality or you could suppress a personality you think is getting you nowhere, but you really can't "improve" it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 The only trait, that I think can even approach being universally desired by women, is being friendly. The guys I see having the hardest time with women are the guys, that are always trying to project the "I'm the shi*", or "I'm a bad as*", or "I'm a loaner" vibe. The guys that do the best project a masculine, yet friendly vibe. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 There's no such thing as "improving" your personality. Your personality is what it is, except for the margins it's really not changeable. You could be more expressive about your personality or you could suppress a personality you think is getting you nowhere, but you really can't "improve" it. Yes you can..... Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Yes you can..... I don't think we're talking about the same thing when we say "improve". Your personality is what it is. You can package it differently so that people can notice it/notice you. For example, a comic book fan who spends all his free time alone in his apartment isn't likely to get anywhere. But, that same fan who goes out and seeks opportunities to meet other comic book fans and socialize/discuss/whatever with them is. The comic book fan in this case isn't "improving" his personality (he's still a comic book fan) he's just packaging it better. You're still fundamentally the same person though... Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I don't think we're talking about the same thing when we say "improve". Your personality is what it is. You can package it differently so that people can notice it/notice you. For example, a comic book fan who spends all his free time alone in his apartment isn't likely to get anywhere. But, that same fan who goes out and seeks opportunities to meet other comic book fans and socialize/discuss/whatever with them is. The comic book fan in this case isn't "improving" his personality (he's still a comic book fan) he's just packaging it better. You're still fundamentally the same person though... Possibly, but I mean you can cultivate traits that are secondary to your primary character. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jcrew11 Posted November 23, 2012 Author Share Posted November 23, 2012 I don't think we're talking about the same thing when we say "improve". Your personality is what it is. You can package it differently so that people can notice it/notice you. For example, a comic book fan who spends all his free time alone in his apartment isn't likely to get anywhere. But, that same fan who goes out and seeks opportunities to meet other comic book fans and socialize/discuss/whatever with them is. The comic book fan in this case isn't "improving" his personality (he's still a comic book fan) he's just packaging it better. You're still fundamentally the same person though... I think if someone has annoying traits that turn-off females and friends, then it is best to change. Someone may a fat WoW nerd, may decide to take a yoga class to get healthier and meet women. Someone may be selfish, uncaring, and unhelpful may find that helping others improves his relationships. If a man mumbles and has bad posture, it may indicate a defeatist personality. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Leadership without charisma is merely leading a positive and healthy life. Without followers, there are no leaders. Considering, in the real world, there are very few leaders, and billions of followers, most of whom find relationships and reproduce the species, there apparently are other factors in play. What I've noted personally is that those men whom make the noise, trumpet their successes and engage others are the ones who become magnets for general female attention. This was learned in childhood with the lesson drummed in by parents and peers that everyone loves a winner and there is no second best and aggressively competing and broadcasting the results was what secured wide popularity. To a certain degree that's still true today and we see it played out in social media. We also see it played out here on LoveShack in our microcosm of 'real life'. Look around and watch who the ladies flirt with. There's your success. Imitate it in your own unique style and make sure the whole world knows. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 How is one "dangerous" or a "bad boy"? I don't understand, do you just make some sort of sorry excuse for a squinty eyed duck-face model "bad boy" face whenever you walk around like you're about to take a ****? What about being "a little bit dangerous"? Do you carry a knife around openly? Do you wear a ski mask? Does this make women moist? Do you try to rob other guys in front of women? Assuming you DON'T get your ass kicked and robbed by the guy, or maced in the face by the girl, I have another question.. Is it easier to date women from a jail cell in a prison full of sweaty hairy gay dudes? I guess it's a catch-22, you're more attractive to them but you're removed from their presence.. Ya just can't win.. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I think when it comes to the bad boy thing it's not so much actually being bad in the sense that you're commiting crimes. For me personally, I play by my own rules in certain aspects of life and question authority/break society's rules all the time. Tough to really explain in detail, but situations arise where people say "you can't do that!" and I'll say "who said I can't do that?" or "why not? why is that not allowed?" and then I'll proceed to do whatever it was. I don't do it intentionally to be cool, it's just that my personality is such that I have a problem with other people telling me what I can and can't do, and question rules I think are silly. I guess that goes with the leadership trait. Sense of humor will get you far, as will charm. I've been writing creatively for a decade now, so being able to craft witty lines or things that really stand out is second nature to me. I used to write poetry, so coming up with unique ways to compliment women is again, something I'm used to. I disagree with the idea that you cannot shape or change your personality. The personality I have is very much a product of conscious shaping on my part. I eliminated elements I thought were holding me back/alienating people and enhanced the qualities I thought would make me more successful not just with women, but in society as a whole. Link to post Share on other sites
ffw Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 OP, if you want to improve your personality do it for yourself & not to get the attention. Secondly, as previous posters suggested every girl would be looking for different characteristics. So, find the one or she will find you; one that is compatiable with you. GL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jcrew11 Posted November 23, 2012 Author Share Posted November 23, 2012 How is one "dangerous" or a "bad boy"? I don't understand, do you just make some sort of sorry excuse for a squinty eyed duck-face model "bad boy" face whenever you walk around like you're about to take a ****? What about being "a little bit dangerous"? Do you carry a knife around openly? Do you wear a ski mask? Does this make women moist? Do you try to rob other guys in front of women? Assuming you DON'T get your ass kicked and robbed by the guy, or maced in the face by the girl, I have another question.. Is it easier to date women from a jail cell in a prison full of sweaty hairy gay dudes? I guess it's a catch-22, you're more attractive to them but you're removed from their presence.. Ya just can't win.. Think like the cool guys and James Dean in Rebel. Think like a badass rockstar or guitar player. Think like an unconventional and anti-establishment Hipster. Think like a macho football qb that doesn't take crap from anyone. Women want guys who are interesting, fun, and exciting. Boring guys get dumped. Missionary guys get dumped. Throw in some "Christian Grey" moves from 50 shades, and you'll have women drooling. Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted November 24, 2012 Share Posted November 24, 2012 Think like the cool guys and James Dean in Rebel. Think like a badass rockstar or guitar player. Think like an unconventional and anti-establishment Hipster. Think like a macho football qb that doesn't take crap from anyone. I guess I've always naturally been like those guys. I've never followed anyone and I don't let others dictate my life, but no one follows me. I've always had an un convential mind, according to others.. I don't particularly care if anyone follows me or not, either way. Link to post Share on other sites
bobsmith76 Posted November 24, 2012 Share Posted November 24, 2012 I've been thinking, what are a few personality traits that really attract women? What is the key to "having a presence" that turns women's heads? There are some side qualities like good looks, wealth, clothing, haircut, good job. But what kind of personality can really make a strange man captivate a woman? I think having a strong sense of self that can include any of these traits - sense of humor, confidence, reliability, charisma, effective communication and speaking style, always smiling, enthusiasm, friendliness, intelligence, wisdom, savvyness, being cool and calm, or standing out from the crowd of men. I think there are also traits like "being slightly dangerous and a bad boy" makes men interesting to women. It's amazing that you're not even conscious of the most important personality quality that anyone, man or woman, can have: a genuine devotion to the good. Cliches are cliches because they're true. I'm sure you've heard it's not what's on the outside that counts but what's on the inside. There's a reason why the word jerk is a pejorative word. No one wants to be around a jerk and the exact opposite of a jerk is someone who is enthusiastically devoted to being the most moral person they can be, that is to say, helping someone whenever asked, trying to treat everyone with kindness, taking time out of one's daily schedule to volunteer, listening to others, following just rules and regulations no matter how petty, not being overbearing in your demands, not being rude, being considerate of others' pain - all of these qualities, to my mind, are the most important qualities one can have and they are enormously attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
iiiii Posted November 24, 2012 Share Posted November 24, 2012 (edited) I agree with BobSmith that devotion to trying to be the best human you can be is a very attractive trait to certain women who are looking for a serious relationship. I would find that almost a prerequisite for a long term relationship with someone, although I know other girls who don't care about it so much. Edited to add, although I also understand Leisureguy's point, that some people don't care about that type of thing at all. I guess that just goes to show that we're all a bit different, and no matter what your personality is like, you won't attract all women! To answer the original question, I personally think there's a difference between personality and character. Personality is how you act - funny, confident, or charming - which can help you attract a girl. Character is how you really are, which is revealed by your actions, especially when times get tough - that will help you KEEP a girl long term. Edited November 24, 2012 by iiiii Link to post Share on other sites
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