What is it with the stares?

[Gosh]

So ive been crushing on this guy for more then two months.

He's invited me for a beer, offered a couple of rides home but hasnt made any move on me. Then all of a sudden, he starts acting weird. I found out a hint that he might be recently single and not happy at all with his ex.

 

Ive stopped flirting with him as i saw him getting distant and decided to try and move on as it doesnt seem to be going anywhere. Im assuming that 1)He's not over his ex or 2) he's just not that into me or both. He's also working two jobs almost 24/7.

 

Either way, as i said, iim trying to move on, BUT, although he's not that flirty as he was before and the weirdness is still there (in a bad way), he still stares at me. I catch him staring all the time. From far away, heck whenever im in his view he stares. When we meet face to face he gets weird.

 

Is my decision good? I mean, if he's really into me, wouldnt he make another move?

Im avoiding him as much as i can for a couple of days and then showing up at his work for a coffee just to feel him out, kinda like a "yeah im still here, everythings cool" Not that flirty but not that neutral.

 

So i guess im the one with the mixed signals now? Im just too afraid of getting all flirty again, cause he's really turned distant. The other day he saw me coming towards him and he pretended he didnt see me , now that hurt. and no, i havent been clingy or anything. I was letting him take the lead, so basically i was just smiling, laughing at his jokes, ya know the basics.

 

Should i keep avoiding him and move on or am i missing something with all the staring?

 

Thanks in advance!

[runner]

So ive been crushing on this guy for more then two months.

He's invited me for a beer, offered a couple of rides home but hasnt made any move on me. Then all of a sudden, he starts acting weird. I found out a hint that he might be recently single and not happy at all with his ex.

 

Ive stopped flirting with him as i saw him getting distant and decided to try and move on as it doesnt seem to be going anywhere. Im assuming that 1)He's not over his ex or 2) he's just not that into me or both. He's also working two jobs almost 24/7.

 

Either way, as i said, iim trying to move on, BUT, although he's not that flirty as he was before and the weirdness is still there (in a bad way), he still stares at me. I catch him staring all the time. From far away, heck whenever im in his view he stares. When we meet face to face he gets weird.

 

Is my decision good? I mean, if he's really into me, wouldnt he make another move?

Im avoiding him as much as i can for a couple of days and then showing up at his work for a coffee just to feel him out, kinda like a "yeah im still here, everythings cool" Not that flirty but not that neutral.

 

So i guess im the one with the mixed signals now? Im just too afraid of getting all flirty again, cause he's really turned distant. The other day he saw me coming towards him and he pretended he didnt see me , now that hurt. and no, i havent been clingy or anything. I was letting him take the lead, so basically i was just smiling, laughing at his jokes, ya know the basics.

 

Should i keep avoiding him and move on or am i missing something with all the staring?

 

Thanks in advance!

 

i'd forget about him if i were you. could be all sorts of things holding him back. either way, it's not your problem. you can try engaging him some more in chat, but if he won't open up, then there you go. nothing to see here.

[Gosh]

Thanks runner for your reply!

 

Yeah, from every point of view, every scenario i make up in my mind, it does all come down to just letting it go. I mean, if the stares do show he is still interested, then he'll have to open up or do something more.

 

 

Ive litterally done everything in the book (ok almost) to show him that im into him and he did figure it out, or else he wouldnt be "asking me out" or offering rides. Which also shows that he is not shy, cause he did go waaaay out of his way when he offered me those rides home and he did show a real interest up to one point. I cant guess what he's thinking and our"chat time" is limited, so if he wants more, he'll have to ask. Im kinda old fashion to ask him, or else i would of, of course after all this even if i wasnt old fashioned, i wouldnt.

 

Oh well, que sera sera! Its just a shame, we were a really cool couple in my mind, lol!

 

Thanks again runner

[runner]

yea no problem.

 

the other thing is, even if he really did like you, he probably wanted you to do all the work to make it happen. and that is not the sort of bloke you need; or any woman for that matter.

[Gosh]

Exactly. Even when he seemed to be into me, it felt like there was litterally something holding him back. Either that was his ex, in which case, good for him, or most likely , as you said, he wanted me to do all the work.

Or, he was just out for that one thing. So this may be another fine example of how to find out if a man's just after sex. Not having sex real fast, unless of course you're in for the same.

 

I agree that the man should make the first moves. Us women, on the other hand, should just make it easier for them to make those moves. As far as im concerned, i made it really clear to him that i like him, so...

 

Anyways, more assumptions, im done with those. Got some small lessons from this one, time to move on!

 

Cheers!