socrushed Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 So first of all, just to clarify, i'm not that attracted to her as she's on the heavy side.. but I find her affection(if she has any) valuable because she's extremely confident. we have a normal coworker acquaintance relationship... well, maybe more friendly than that. She just started working that job so she'd ask me questions and I'd answer them and share something funny/weird about the job and we'd have a laugh. you know, things like that. She starts talking about a coworker she hates and we bond over that a little bit with a 3rd female coworker. Ok, and for the record i'm a skinny asian guy who apparently looks a lot younger than my age. people say i look underaged basically when i'm actually 23. After a while, when she sees me she'd slap me on the knee if i'm sitting down and she walks by. Or if i'm standing around with other people and she's joining us, she walked next to me and put her hand on my back. Then when i was walking with her and another older woman coworker to get coffee, i hesitated and didn't want to walk with them because i felt awkward. then the girl said "why.. are you embarassed.. ?" while smiling, and the older lady teased me something about how i'll be blessed with 2 wonderful ladies who could look at my "beautiful face." then the girl stroked my back and said "yea i like *my name*." ok so what's the deal. Is this just a dynamic where i'm the shy awkward kid who also showed a small degree of confidence and social dominance once in a while so she just finds me endearing like a cute little brother, or is she attracted? i have low self esteem so having proof that a girl of at least moderate social value is attracted to me would be a huge confidence booster... but i don't know if that's the case here.
Author socrushed Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 just to clarify.. when i said she walked past me and slapped my knee or she walked up to me and put her hand on my back for a couple seconds, she only did these things once. Becuase we actually don't work together that much, and i probably won't see her again for a long time as we have different shifts.
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 So first of all, just to clarify, i'm not that attracted to her as she's on the heavy side.. but I find her affection(if she has any) valuable because she's extremely confident. we have a normal coworker acquaintance relationship... well, maybe more friendly than that. She just started working that job so she'd ask me questions and I'd answer them and share something funny/weird about the job and we'd have a laugh. you know, things like that. She starts talking about a coworker she hates and we bond over that a little bit with a 3rd female coworker. Ok, and for the record i'm a skinny asian guy who apparently looks a lot younger than my age. people say i look underaged basically when i'm actually 23. After a while, when she sees me she'd slap me on the knee if i'm sitting down and she walks by. Or if i'm standing around with other people and she's joining us, she walked next to me and put her hand on my back. Then when i was walking with her and another older woman coworker to get coffee, i hesitated and didn't want to walk with them because i felt awkward. then the girl said "why.. are you embarassed.. ?" while smiling, and the older lady teased me something about how i'll be blessed with 2 wonderful ladies who could look at my "beautiful face." then the girl stroked my back and said "yea i like *my name*." ok so what's the deal. Is this just a dynamic where i'm the shy awkward kid who also showed a small degree of confidence and social dominance once in a while so she just finds me endearing like a cute little brother, or is she attracted? i have low self esteem so having proof that a girl of at least moderate social value is attracted to me would be a huge confidence booster... but i don't know if that's the case here. For starters you dont find her attractive and you are using her as a confidence booster>Dont go for her at all.This whole post made me feel a bit embarassed for the girls involved.I can understand why you felt awkward. There was this guy once who used to embarrass me when i was younger this friend i used to hang with had acne and he would sleaze onto her by saying dotn worry your friend(meaning me ) probably has a pimply ass......chicks with clear skin everywhere else have pimply asses.....later on he was all over me saying your the one i want ......hands all over me.....and my back which is sensitive....i was just practicing for you baby ....in a away you are practicing......dont.....be real.......and for them .....i have no comment......deb
Author socrushed Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 For starters you dont find her attractive and you are using her as a confidence booster>Dont go for her at all.This whole post made me feel a bit embarassed for the girls involved.I can understand why you felt awkward. There was this guy once who used to embarrass me when i was younger this friend i used to hang with had acne and he would sleaze onto her by saying dotn worry your friend(meaning me ) probably has a pimply ass......chicks with clear skin everywhere else have pimply asses.....later on he was all over me saying your the one i want ......hands all over me.....and my back which is sensitive....i was just practicing for you baby ....in a away you are practicing......dont.....be real.......and for them .....i have no comment......deb they were just playing/teasing... right? i felt awkward cause im just generally awkward around people.. not cause of anything they were doing necessarily. but i don't see why you'd feel embarassed for them... isn't this how ppl normally joke around and banter with each other? anyway i won't go for her or anything.. but i think she's a cool person and i like her as a friend because she's nice and friendly to me at a work environment where people can be on the hostile side. i wish i worked with her more often.
kae Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 (edited) a girl of at least moderate social value- what does that mean??? so another kind of girl couldn`t make you feel good or worthwhile?? normal girls are good enough????? Edited September 13, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
utterer of lies Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Maybe she wants to bang you as a friend?
USMCHokie Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Ok, and for the record i'm a skinny asian guy... Get less skinny... 1
mesmerized Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 You're a skinny Asian guy that looks very young. Enough said, she doesnt wanna bang you, she just finds you cute.
USMCHokie Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 To be perfectly honest, after reading your first post again, I can confidently say that your coworkers treat you like one of the girls...That is, one of them...
KungFuJoe Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Embrace your Asian genes. I'm 38 and could pass for early 20s. I joke that when my daughers go to high school, I'm going to enroll with them to keep an eye on them. And get this...I usually keep a little 5 o'clock shadow going so I don't look even younger, but every once in a blue moon, I'll shave completely just for the heck of it. A few months back, after a fresh shave, I went to pick up my 7 year old from school. One of her classmates asked her if I was her brother! She just laughed. Needless to say, I haven't shaved it off since and don't plan on anytime soon.
Author socrushed Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 You're a skinny Asian guy that looks very young. Enough said, she doesnt wanna bang you, she just finds you cute. ... that doesn't hurt... To be perfectly honest, after reading your first post again, I can confidently say that your coworkers treat you like one of the girls...That is, one of them... really? .... well there goes my confidence boost if that's true..... why do you think that? i'm not that feminine......
Author socrushed Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 a girl of at least moderate social value- what does that mean??? so another kind of girl couldn`t make you feel good or worthwhile?? normal girls are good enough????? you dont know what i mean? i mean she's a cool person who's fun to hang out with and knows how to deal with life, even if her looks aren't all that great at the moment. Though she'd be pretty hot if she lost weight.
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 they were just playing/teasing... right? i felt awkward cause im just generally awkward around people.. not cause of anything they were doing necessarily. but i don't see why you'd feel embarassed for them... isn't this how ppl normally joke around and banter with each other? anyway i won't go for her or anything.. but i think she's a cool person and i like her as a friend because she's nice and friendly to me at a work environment where people can be on the hostile side. i wish i worked with her more often. I dotn know cant judge th esituation from here i felt uncomfortable fro them i dont know why either maybe because i couldn't imagine myself doing that it would embarrass me....its a bit aggressive actually....i tend to put myself in others shoes and when you said she ran her hand up your back..... that is my erogenous zone and i would not let some guy do it..did it make you feel weird?..in fact when they do that even guy friends i have i say don't touch me its the same with my neck i also associate it with guidance....i don't want to be guided by some random i have to care about that person.....i am sorry...i could have taken you wrong.... but you saying she was on the heavy side and confidence booster for yourself belies what you say in your second post.....about her being cool and wanting to spend more time with her your co workers being hostile is a new entry and the situation is now more complex because of that...doesnt really gel so which is it? is she a confidence booster and you are not attracted to her or you are because of others hostility, please dont take offence i merely trying to see clearly what you are stating......i mean no disrespect....deb
Author socrushed Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 I dotn know cant judge th esituation from here i felt uncomfortable fro them i dont know why either maybe because i couldn't imagine myself doing that it would embarrass me....its a bit aggressive actually....i tend to put myself in others shoes and when you said she ran her hand up your back..... that is my erogenous zone and i would not let some guy do it..did it make you feel weird?..in fact when they do that even guy friends i have i say don't touch me its the same with my neck i also associate it with guidance....i don't want to be guided by some random i have to care about that person.....i am sorry...i could have taken you wrong.... but you saying she was on the heavy side and confidence booster for yourself belies what you say in your second post.....about her being cool and wanting to spend more time with her your co workers being hostile is a new entry and the situation is now more complex because of that...doesnt really gel so which is it? is she a confidence booster and you are not attracted to her or you are because of others hostility, please dont take offence i merely trying to see clearly what you are stating......i mean no disrespect....deb the vibe she was giving didn't feel aggressive at all.. it felt more friendly and warm, like she was just being nice to me. that's what i made of it at least, but then again i'm not the best judge of other people's intentions cause i'm socially inexperienced.. but i don't have any issue about my back being touched. she didn't sensually stroke me or something, it was just quick friendly strokes, like we're buddies. im not attracted to her but she makes me feel safe because i don't think she's judging me or out to get me. i have a timid personality and timid looks sometimes when i'm around guys who are intimidating, and that makes me an easy target for being the blunt of some jokes. Around those guys, my personality closes up and my anxiety goes through the roof.. but around her i could be myself and act foolish and crack jokes because i know she won't judge me, so i enjoy her company... Anyway, whatever it doesn't matter... i just wanted to know if she was showing signs of attraction. other people in this thread are saying she just thinks i'm "one of the girls"... ( .... ) ... do you agree.. ?
Emilia Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 i have low self esteem so having proof that a girl of at least moderate social value is attracted to me would be a huge confidence booster... but i don't know if that's the case here. get a gym membership OP and get strong
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