Dating Bombshells - She used to be twice what she weighs now... WOAH!

[oldskl]

Amazing little (or giant) nugget of info got spilt to me the other day, and I frankly cannot believe it.

 

The girl I am about to date in over a week or so told me she was once a lot larger than she is. Isn't everyone, now and then? I laughed it off, no big deal at all.

 

'I'm half of what I used to weigh, now I'm 10.5 stone'.

 

*quick maths check*

 

Holy moses! That's 21 stone! 133kg! 294lbs!

 

After 2 hours of Skype, there was no way whatsoever I would believe that this tiny 5'4 petite girl curled up on her sofa with very pixie-esque dainty features and gorgeous bone structure was once that big. Not in a million years. Like, EVER.

 

So she quite courageously sent me older photos of what she used to look like.

 

It was true! I am absolutely lost for words. There is no evidence in any of her current facebook photos to suggest she was that big before, but low and behold, in the older albums there you can see how hard she has worked and how toned she is now. It is rather incredible.

 

This girl has easily won me over massively with not just her straight forward honesty before even meeting me yet, but her self power to change. She has some big balls for sure!

 

Has anyone else had these sorts of bombshells? Both good and bad!?

[ascendotum]

Its really good you are fired up over a new girl. Hopefully that spirit stays with you through the coming dates. I've had sex with a woman that used to be quite overweight....like worlds biggest loser type weight transformation. She put in fantastic workouts at the gym and was always jogging and dieting and I really admired her determination. But like a lot of people on that show TWBL, I don't quite get why they didn't show that self will + grit over the prior decade while the kgs piled up.

She had lost a LOT of weight, but like many on that show find out they can't get rid of the excess flappy skin (unless they opt for multi op surgury). Its somewhat of a turn-off I have to say.

I really don't wont to put the mozz on your date given you are so looking forward to it (but you put this thread up), but I wonder if the fact that she was so upfront on showing you pictures of when she was fat before she has even met you, that she is prepping you for this. Hopefully it was not an issue for her.

[Arabella]

I've been there, done that. I dropped 160 lbs. I had a hard time getting people that didn't know me before to believe it.

 

She's probably very proud of her accomplishment, that's why she didn't mind showing you those pictures.

 

-A

[Enema]

I have you have a good poker face.

 

http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/mmlib/includes/sendimage.php?path=2630.2a209c14&width=392&height=294

[kaylan]

I personally highly commend someone getting fit after weighing that much. Its definitely hard work and determination. However, theres generally excess skin and sometimes severe stretch marks that go along with having been so heavy....in which case Id have to pass as thats a turn off.

 

Some stretch marks and a little bit of stretchy skin may be ok....but the kind of extra skin Ive seen on people who lost 100 plus pounds, is just off putting to me. Ive seen a lot of transformation stories on Youtube btw.

 

I agree that her honesty is very commendable though.

[SmileFace]

Well wait until you see her naked. I am in no way saying it will be like what was previously shown in this thread but it is a possibility. Plus I have lost over 130 pounds and look nothing like that picture so...

[KatZee]

 

Has anyone else had these sorts of bombshells? Both good and bad!?

 

I consider myself to be one of these girls... not in the weight aspect, but physical appearance. When I was younger, like jr high school age I was such an awkward girl. I would always try to be "cool" and "stylish" like the other girls who made it look so easy but I was always steps behind.

 

I was teased back then. I had bad teeth, you could have driven a car through the space between my front two teeth. My parents couldn't afford braces at that time so I dealt. I would have guys say, "ew! Kiss XX?? look at her teeth!? what guy would kiss her!"

 

Flat irons really didn't exist at this time either. The first Conair one had just come out but it was terrible. My natural hair is this really odd mix of being puffy, curly, and wavy, all in different areas. Thus, I have a perpetual FRO head. Always frizzy, coarse, gross. And I couldn't do much about it then, so this one girl used to call me "mop head."

 

No one ever liked me. I never had a boyfriend. Plus I was a gymnast and not really blessed in the chest department. So I was tall, lanky, no curves, puffy hair, bad teeth, and don't get me started on my skin. I knew I was at the lowest point when the guy that everyone picked on, picked on ME and called me "zit face."

 

Sigh. Those were the good ol' days.

 

As I transitioned from those years into high school... I moved. Changed schools. I started learning how to do my hair. Got braces. Cleaned the skin up, started using makeup. When I got to my new town, people said I was "hot." I was like... excuse me? My self esteem was garbage, and I was extremely shy. I went from being made fun of, to having guys look at me, and I felt SO embarrassed and awkward.

 

Long story short.. I think that's the "bad" to this situation... unless she's totally cool with herself. People would think I was "bombshell" and "hot" and "beautiful" and all the adjectives to describe a good looking girl... and i never saw it. I never believed it. All I saw was that ugly girl.

 

My first boyfriend (COLLEGE!!!) made me tell myself I was beautiful in the mirror every single day. I still have bad days where I think I'm ugly and have bad skin and horrible hair, although not as bad as before.

[oldskl]

The beauty of honesty over the phone, followed by Skype video calls is that I am prepared on all fronts, ears, eyes and mind.

 

I am not worried whatsoever. I know people are saying watch this, watch that and be prepared for the worst.

 

True. It happens. But I know exactly where I am with this.

 

She had some sort of band fitted, and has two small keyhole surgery scars and allegedly her 'whoever oversees the recovery of such procedures' has commended her being the best example she has ever seen with regards to showing next to no signs of the weight loss on her skin.

 

Bear in mind she was relatively young to have had this done versus the average age being much older, and that apparantly has made things a lot easier.

 

I've seen a cheeky flash, and some tight fitted clothes which don't lie.

 

I couldn't care less to be honest though if there is some sort of evidence, so to speak. She makes me laugh enough to forget that, something my last girlfriend failed to do and she was very pretty.

 

Beauty is definitely only skin deep.

 

Let's see where I am this time next week!

[phineas]

I personally highly commend someone getting fit after weighing that much. Its definitely hard work and determination. However, theres generally excess skin and sometimes severe stretch marks that go along with having been so heavy....in which case Id have to pass as thats a turn off.

 

Some stretch marks and a little bit of stretchy skin may be ok....but the kind of extra skin Ive seen on people who lost 100 plus pounds, is just off putting to me. Ive seen a lot of transformation stories on Youtube btw.

 

I agree that her honesty is very commendable though.

 

I lost 100lbs.

Gained back 20 (some was muscle)

cutting back down again.

 

I didn't have any loose skin & I guess that's noteworthy cause i'm like old. LOL!

 

I know a few women that dropped over 100lbs my age with out much loose skin also.

 

I think it depends on how fast you lose it.

It took me a little over 2 yrs because halfway through I started bulking for a few months before I continued cutting & it was never more than 8lbs a month.

[Negative Nancy]

stretch marks

 

Some stretch marks and a little bit of stretchy skin

 

What's the big deal about stretch marks, I never got it. I have them on the back of my knees, probably from working out, and I don't think they look bad at all. The scars in my eyebrows are more noticable than some stretch marks. They simply look like fading little white scars, I don't see any issue with them at all.

 

 

I can definitely see the issue with loose skin, but stretch marks? You gotta be kidding

[Negative Nancy]

I think it depends on how fast you lose it.

 

It also depends on if you're working out or if you just lose weight by merely eating less.

 

 

I'd rather have and keep my stretch marks (which at least aren't a health issue) than those nasty varicose and spider veins many women have.

Edited September 12, 2012 by Negative Nancy

[VodkaShots]

I have you have a good poker face.

 

http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/mmlib/includes/sendimage.php?path=2630.2a209c14&width=392&height=294

 

You do know that's an extreme case and not everyone gets loose skin that looks like that from losing weight, right? It all depends on things like genes, age, how fast/slow you lost the weight, what exercises you did and what diet you had, etc.

 

If someone was a) not young b) an extreme case (300lbs+) and c) decided to go on a crash diet (probably lacking in essential proteins and vitamins) it's a high likelihood they'll end up with a body looking like that.

 

I know various people who've lost a lot of weight and none of them (AFAIK) have skin that look like that, so don't scaremonger not to mention it's the kind of thing that will put off some people who obviously need to shift a few pounds from trying to diet and exercise.

 

OP: Good for you. It's good you can see it in a positive light that she was honest about it, though it's not unknown for some men (and women) to run a mile if they find out something like that about a potential partner for various reasons Good luck.

Edited September 12, 2012 by VodkaShots

[kaylan]

What's the big deal about stretch marks, I never got it. I have them on the back of my knees, probably from working out, and I don't think they look bad at all. The scars in my eyebrows are more noticable than some stretch marks. They simply look like fading little white scars, I don't see any issue with them at all.

 

I can definitely see the issue with loose skin, but stretch marks? You gotta be kidding

Theres a difference between puberty stretch marks that are usually faint and minor, and the moderate to severe stretch marks that can come from large amounts of weight gain. Coupled with loose skin its a huge turn off for me

 

I have stretch marks on the back of my knees too, right above my calves...but they arent really visible, but I can feel them. Those are from puberty. I actually have really really feint ones on my ass too, that are only visible in very bright light, and if I stretch my skin some. Those are from puberty as well. I had the luck of having my stretch marks fill in with pretty much the same skin tone as the surrounding areas...so the only reason I ever found out about them was from touching my body really and then examining under good light.

 

But as I said, great weight gain stretch marks (outside of puberty) tend to be more numerous and different looking. I dont mind the average few that many of us will get, but the ones that tend to come from not looking after your body, can turn me right off...especially if they are coupled with a body that doesnt look so great.

Edited September 15, 2012 by kaylan

[Negative Nancy]

I have stretch marks on the back of my knees too, right above my calves

 

That's exactly what I meant, that's where I have mine too.

 

 

But as I said, great weight gain stretch marks (outside of puberty) tend to be more numerous and different looking. I dont mind the average few that many of us will get, but the ones that tend to come from not looking after your body, can turn me right off...especially if they are coupled with a body that doesnt look so great.

 

I was never able to picture what that looks like and haven't found one that would make me understand the gross-factor about it, so can you actually provide a picture.

[todreaminblue]

I lost 100lbs.

Gained back 20 (some was muscle)

cutting back down again.

 

I didn't have any loose skin & I guess that's noteworthy cause i'm like old. LOL!

 

I know a few women that dropped over 100lbs my age with out much loose skin also.

 

I think it depends on how fast you lose it.

It took me a little over 2 yrs because halfway through I started bulking for a few months before I continued cutting & it was never more than 8lbs a month.

 

 

im in the process of losing weight once again i have dropped and put on weight a lot in my life and when i have dropped masses of pregnancy weight i have not had much problem with loose skin because once i drop enough to gain back my upper body strength, i cross train pretty hard, crunches, sit ups, reverse sit ups push ups yoga cycling kick boxing and aerobics and hopefullly this summer i want to swim regularly want to do a long distance swim always have.........that's what i have to do to tone...all aspects of my body....in doing that i have had five kids so my belly will never be ripped again and i cant train too much upper body by lifting weights i don't like it when my arms get too muscular...i have to slog hard and i think the work i have done in the past allows me to have skin that recovers and muscle tone that maybe has memory but has been asleep...lol......most of my body weight has been with having five kids and medication.I really dont eat a lot and i am a veggie lover..now and again i crave rare very rare steak........deb

[yongyong]

I am sure her motivation was due to the ignorance from potential dates.

 

Once she settles down, she might lose the motivation and go back to where she was.

 

Would you still keep her? I hope so since you care more about her personality than her looks.... right????? LOL LOL LOL

[todreaminblue]

I am sure her motivation was due to the ignorance from potential dates.

 

Once she settles down, she might lose the motivation and go back to where she was.

 

Would you still keep her? I hope so since you care more about her personality than her looks.... right????? LOL LOL LOL

 

 

Being overweight limits everything, i tlimits what you are able to do in a day, it limits how good you feel about yourself because carrying around extra weight is tiring, it limits your options in every way.....and yes it does limit your dating options in a sense........i find that fact a refreshing one

I date less when i am fit and in peak condition because if i find a guy who would just date me because of my physical appearance i dont date them anymore and it is easy to subtly find out if this is the case.You are right about the possibility for putting the weight back on and i have been with a guy who treated me quite badly when i put on weight wouldnt hold my hand when we walked down the street but when i was in peak he couldnt keep his hands off me so its a no to dates who are purely interested....been there done that got the postcard not going back.......so for once i partly agree with your comment....deb

[Hawaii50]

I, like most on here also commend her honesty, but I also doubt it as well. I think she HAD to tell you, as this is something that wouldn't go unnoticed naked (I don't think.) she's just clearing the air sotospeak, so that you know everything upfront and can do you accepting now.

 

I have no qualms and admire anyone who has the discipline to go through such a transition. hope you don't/do as well...

[SmileFace]

Dated a girl that lost a lot of weight. Knew her before she turned into a bombshell. There was no sag or loose skin or stretch marks on her body whatsoever. It is cause she worked out with weights, instead of there being any fat. There was nothing but tone on all her body. It was amazing.

Yeah this is why I left heavy.

[oldskl]

General update:

 

Still with the girl

 

Present is great. Future looks good. Don't judge a book by its cover!

 

Be accepting, and adore people for who they are, not what they are.

 

The little things you dig for that might have bothered you are far outweighed by the good things that are always there that you probably take for granted.

 

People get fat. Go grey. Get wrinkly. Lose teeth. All natural with age.

 

But a good girl with a good heart will always be just that. With or without teeth!

 

[edgygirl]

People get fat. Go grey. Get wrinkly. Lose teeth. All natural with age.

 

But a good girl with a good heart will always be just that. With or without teeth!

 

 

........

[oldskl]

Yet again being the gravedigger to old posts, but I want people to read positive outcomes to the horror stories on here because nice things do indeed work themselves out from time to time!

 

I am still happily with the same girl nearly a year now.

 

I can't emphasize how you shouldn't ever be too shallow and be put off someone because of a single physical attribute that you don't like. Sure, you have to 'fancy' or be attracted by at least one factor in the first place, but don't let one thing overshadow your judgement as a whole.

 

Goofy teeth? Red Hair? Chubby? Glasses? Bad clothes? Bearded lady?

 

Think how many friends' houses you go to with really beat up front gardens and shabby doors. You know the score, half a car out front. Tarp on the lawn. Dog going mental at you.

 

Yet you go inside, and WOAH WTF!? Cool house inside.

 

It's just a door! Lawns can be reseeded and turfed. Plants can be grown. Doors can be painted. First appearances can be deceiving.

 

Give that person a knock on the door, because chances are they're hiding somebody beautiful underneath that goofy smile and glasses.

 

And you know whats even more satisfying? Knowing that you were the only one daring enough to find out.

 

Good things happen to good people who take a chance.

 

Look beyond, everyone! And you might just find your happily ever after

[Yookie]

Thanks for the update! Awesome thread:love:

[sweetkiwi]

So sweet. Thanks for sharing a positive story and outlook :).

[Star Gazer]

Theres a difference between puberty stretch marks that are usually faint and minor, and the moderate to severe stretch marks that can come from large amounts of weight gain. Coupled with loose skin its a huge turn off for me

 

Hope you never get a woman you plan on spending forever with pregnant, because stretch marks and loose skin will go with the territory for most women who might have your child.