college_girl20 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 So, I don't really know where to start but at the beginning. I am a 19 year old (almost 20) college student at a small, Lutheran college and for the past year have been in a relationship with my professor. We share the same apartment (unbeknownst to the university) and we have for the most part a pretty steady relationship. Or, at least we did until it became knowledge to the "higher ups" at our school that we have a more than student-teacher relationship. They've told him that they don't want us together and my academic adviser has made it clear to me that they feel our relationship is unethical not only because he is my professor (I'm minoring in Spanish and am one of his pupils), but also because we are have "clandestine and sexual*" relations with one another. My question is, do I really let them bully me into ruining a good relationship? Is there anything they can actually do to us if we continue to be together? Nowhere do I remember being informed that I can't date my professor. I just figured it was one of those lines you don't cross, but I crossed it and I don't see why it's a problem. Am I making the right decision by ignoring their concerns? *I actually received an e-mail detailing our relationship as clandestine. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 This is a terrible example for the school and your BF might lose his job for it. At the very least, you shouldn't be in any of his classes. Change your minor. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) wow...lutheran school...and youre asking this OP? This guy WILL ruin his career if more people find out. What an idiot. He needs to stick to mature women his age and be smart about his career. Im pretty sure his career is already done for. They are probably already looking for ways to get rid of him. PS - youre only a kid OP. Trust me when I say this guy sees you not as an equal but as someone to get young sex from. I dont see this lasting. Especially seeing as youre both in different stages of life. Edited September 10, 2012 by kaylan 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 He could be fired and blackballed out of his career. What does he say about all of this? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author college_girl20 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 He's really not that much older than me, and we live together, it's not like it's just sex. They haven't threatened to fire him that I know of and he seems to think we'll be fine once I graduate (I am a year ahead and only have a bit over a year left), but I could transfer and I would imagine everything would be fine. I just don't see how they could fire him for something like this...I'm an adult and we're both consenting, so what's the problem? It's not like anyone really knows or cares for that matter. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I just don't see how they could fire him for something like this...I'm an adult and we're both consenting, so what's the problem? Many, MANY schools have employment agreements that professors sign that prohibit such relationships and is implied in other policies regulating professional conduct. It would be deemed unprofessional and unethical. Your "consenting adult" thing has nothing to do with it. It's not like anyone really knows or cares for that matter. With all due respect, your academic adviser knows and will probably report it to the Board. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I imagine that many higher education institutes have ethics clauses in their employee contracts. This being a church/religious school? Oh hell yeah, it's got an ethics clause. Because believe it or not, it's meant to protect the three parties involved: The student, the prof and the school. Just because you don't see it as a problem doesn't mean that it isn't one. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 So, I don't really know where to start but at the beginning. I am a 19 year old (almost 20) college student at a small, Lutheran college and for the past year have been in a relationship with my professor. We share the same apartment (unbeknownst to the university) and we have for the most part a pretty steady relationship. Or, at least we did until it became knowledge to the "higher ups" at our school that we have a more than student-teacher relationship. They've told him that they don't want us together and my academic adviser has made it clear to me that they feel our relationship is unethical not only because he is my professor (I'm minoring in Spanish and am one of his pupils), but also because we are have "clandestine and sexual*" relations with one another. My question is, do I really let them bully me into ruining a good relationship? Is there anything they can actually do to us if we continue to be together? Nowhere do I remember being informed that I can't date my professor. I just figured it was one of those lines you don't cross, but I crossed it and I don't see why it's a problem. Am I making the right decision by ignoring their concerns? *I actually received an e-mail detailing our relationship as clandestine. You're far too concerned about the legal and academic ramifications of this, and seemingly not at all concerned about the adverse effect it will most likely have on your own emotional and sexual health through your young adulthood. I'm sure the attention is great, and the excitement over an older man offering it to you may send you through the roof on a daily basis, but you're most likely setting yourself BACK what may evolve to be years and years. Of course, it is illogical to expect that the young object of so much near-term satisfaction and intense comfort would think with her own long-term health in mind. I just hope the landing is soft, and not bumpy... Link to post Share on other sites
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