hotsauce Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 long story short, I've been friend with this girl for a year and a half. fell for her, told her how i felt 2 months ago, but she doesn't feel the same and wants to stay good friends, told me i was "too good to lose." so basically i was friendzoned and now i am ready to move on.i tried to minimize contact with her but she keeps coming back.(called me a week ago saying how she misses me because i don't talk to her as much. saying how she loves me.. as a best friend ) she is making me having mixed feelings. she called me again tonight complaining how she always do the talking and feeling like our friendship is drifting. this girl still stays in my mind and i always think about her, i really want to move on by staying friends with her. ( i know some say it's hard to stay friends with the opposite sex, but i want to try) i am going to call her back tomorrow. it seems like shes dragging me back into this hole, giving me mixed feelings. i still want to be her close friend, but i don't want to fall back again. what should i say to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Mycteria Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 If you want to be friends with her, then go back to her and just be friends. If you don't want to just be her friend, then tell her that you wanted to date her but if she doesn't want that then you need to part ways. Just be honest. Whatever you do, don't stay friends with her hoping she'll change her mind. She won't. Link to post Share on other sites
hildaL Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Actually, many friends of mine think that it's a big problem. Cause they think if you tell her, you will be couple if she love you,too, but what if she don't love you? Maybe you will not friends anymore. So, think it carefully. OK. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotsauce Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 I'm stuck what should I say to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I would tell her the truth. You want to find a girlfriend, and her friendship is giving you confusing feelings and keeping you "stuck". Women don't understand the torture they put men through when they offer friendship (when the man clearly wants a relationship). She enjoys the attention that you give her, and doesn't want to lose that, but will never feel that sexual spark for you. She rejected you romantically and sexually. If you are looking for a romantic & sexual relationship, it's best to put your time and effort elsewhere. Be honest with her. She may not realize how your friendship is keeping you stuck. If you explain it and she still pushes for friendship, she is just selfish and needs her ego stroked. You wouldn't want a girl like that anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
LovePossum Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I was in the same situation, they ony thing is that I never told her how I felt. I was worried she would make things awkward for me. I also knew that I still wanted her in my life friendship wise. I felt that having her as a friend was better than not having her at all. I agree what Quite Storm said. What I did to help me was that I reliied on my other friends to help me get her out of my system. So I went on dates and met other people. I kept on dating untill I felt different, ehich I'm still working on. Now my feelings for the girl I liek isnt as strong and I can move on. If you havent talk to your other friends yet, talk to them too and see if they can help. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCross Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Well, you professed you had feelings for her and unfortunately the feelings were not mutual. So, what have you gotten out of this friendship other then being her emotional tampon ? You got friendzoned. You are not looking for that right ? Be honest with her. Be blunt. Tell her you have enough friends and that if she doesn't have the same feelings you do about her then there is no reason to further emotionally damage yourself. Keep in mind you need to look out for YOU in this situation. Tell her that you are going to go no contact, and proceed to find a girlfriend, not a friend who gives off mixed feelings. You are the go to guy when things dont go her way with other areas of her life hint hint other guys. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 What kind of friendship was it? Was it you feeding her attention or did she treat you like your other friends treat you? Do you feel like you hang out or you are following her a round when you go out? Was she a true friend or was it one-way? Also, "she called me again tonight complaining how she always do the talking and feeling like our friendship is drifting." sounds a little manipulative especially since she knows you have feelings for her. I'd go with what Alex said if she hasn't really been a true friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yookie Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 You need to drop her and focus your attention on women who are interested in being with you as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts