mauler2 Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 Hi, I’m really stuck with what to do. I’ve got this date with this girl coming up, and it’s our first real date just by ourselves, and I want to know if I should step around her and give way, or sometimes caress her back or hips as we walk together or move in front of each other. I don’t want to look like a friend by keeping to myself. I want to direct her body, because I know, in the past when I’ve touched girls casually, they go nuts and smile and all that. We’re going to see a movie, but I’m not after sex or a blow job or something extreme. I just want to feel close, make her feel important to me. And I also want to feel important by being in contact with her. Do teenage girls mind when teenage boys brush their backs, hold their hands unasked etc. I mean, do I just f**king sit there and watch the movie like a zombie, or do I come onto her? I don’t want to make her feel bored… or cheap either. Can you judge if a girl likes being touched by her personality? [P.S. It’s a romantic movie. WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I DO?!?] Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 hmmm..touching is a definite help in moving you out of the "platonic-friend" catergory. i think everyone likes being touched by friends, excepting those with 'touching issues'; and a well placed hand-on-back while opening a door, for me, has made all the difference in how i view a guy. don't put too much thought into it, just touch constantly: without a preface; without self-consciousness. it's so sexy; it looks and feels so confident. think of it as gesture-gallantry; know yourself to be peculiarly well-mannered in this way. cheers j ps. your thread title is pleasing: "touching up," as a prepositional phrase, has quite a different meaning where i am from. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mauler2 Posted March 6, 2004 Author Share Posted March 6, 2004 Basically, what I’m doing is using this girl to get to another girl. The girl I’m taking to the movies is not that attractive to me (she’s just a friend), yet if I’m seen holding her hand, the girl I really like will see me as ‘boyfriend material’, okay? Now, I don’t want to mislead the friend-girl, but touching her might really make me score with the attractive-girl, you know? I’m not sure if I should make the sacrifice though. I don’t want her to come on to me just because I’m being polite and gentlemen-like. I just want to practise. We’re just friends, but I don’t want it to go any further. And there’s a good chance I might score with the attractive-girl if I get the opportunity to get her on a date instead, so that’s why I asked about feeling up girls you REALLY like. I hope I don’t offend anyone with my honesty. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 It's funny how one's impressions of people change, the more they reveal about their situation. Does your friend know she's practice? bait? Link to post Share on other sites
Dejin Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 It's funny how one's impressions of people change, the more they reveal about their situation. Yeah, I'd agree to that dyer. I would not 'use' my friend to get closer to someone else. In my opinion, that is wrong. I'm not saying your strategy couldn't work, but I'm warning you that it could backfire on you - twice. 1) You may lose your friend if she finds out the real reason you appear attracted to her, and 2) The attractive girl may pick up on what you were trying to do, and think badly of you for it. More specifically, she would not date you. As for my advice: just go up to the attractive girl and ask her out to the movie. Or a different movie, depending on your circumstances. She may come to respect your forward-ness and admire you for it. Or, yes, it is possible she may reject you. And in that case you'll still have that other friend around, unlike before. Better to be safe, than sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 I would agree, adding that she'd have to be pretty dense to not realize what you're doing. And, if upon that realization, she still wanted to date you, she's a catch there. Honestly, women aren't like puppies, it would be much better to go straight up to the one you're into, and not manipulate this other girl. Girls whom you're not attracted to have feelings as well, often moreso than the ones you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mauler2 Posted March 6, 2004 Author Share Posted March 6, 2004 You ask: Does this friend know she’s bait? It doesn’t matter. I still like her, but just as a friend. I just don’t know how girls react to touching early on. Just because I’m practising holding her hand, doesn’t make me a player. But the HUGE problem I have is assessing whether this attractive-girl likes me. Sure, I’ve implied that I like her, but she’s afraid of being rejected as much as I am of her rejecting me. It’s one of those things: I can tell she’s never had a boyfriend, and I wanted to know, would she take my hand if I outstretched it, or would I just have to grab it lightly? I admit, this is confusing which girl I’m talking about. But we’ve just started college and I’m keeping a broad mind around these people who I’ve just met. I don’t want to be crushed by focusing on just one girl. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 If you want to 'practice' on somebody, ask and make it clear that's what your doing. Otherwise, it's fraud. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mauler2 Posted March 6, 2004 Author Share Posted March 6, 2004 And no, it won’t backfire, Dejin. Bah! Both of these girls don’t know what I’m thinking. I’m not stupid enough to give it away. But I guess I did give the wrong impression by saying I was ‘using’ this friend. I’m just trying to establish an image, you know? I feel bad in some ways, sure. But if I hold hands with a girl who’s not the most attractive specimen in the class, the attractive-girl won’t think I’m shallow and just after good looks (which I am, but SHHH! ) Another problem I’m having is controlling my ‘erection’. Just recently, I was walking in the rain with the attractive-girl and I offered her to come under my umbrella. We walked together, alone. We weren’t touching, but I got a hard-on. Dammit, it was so uncomfortable because my anaconda was pointed down and I surely couldn’t adjust the basement right then and there. So I don’t know how I’m gonna cope holding the attractive-girl’s hand. That’s why I wanted practise. Perhaps I’m just a geek that got attractive at 18. Probably. But now I’m having to cope with girls. I think I need psychosis, something to blank out these ‘randy’ thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 your handle is more accurate than i might have imagined. unbelievable, mate. do you lack the courage and cahones to just go after the girl you want straightforwardly? have you been reading too many 18th century french novels? grow a pair, stop watching "saved by the bell" and just ask her out. risk using your own charms and stop with the poorly-conceived cartoonish pseduo-villiany. i'm sure you could be a nice guy. this is not a nice idea, and worse, it's not an intelligent idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Dejin Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Clearly, women arent stupid. If you are affectionate with the less-attractive girl, why do you believe the more-attractive one will just come running to you? You may end up driving her away, hence yet another backfire. Stop being narrow minded and foolish in your little fantasy, look at this from different points of view, check out all possibilities. Stick with smart choices, be a man and step up to the challenge... I'm telling you from past experience - most girls admire guys who are comfortable with themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 It's funny that you didn't mean to give the impression of a player, yet you're right. Most players are at least somewhat considerate of their bait, if not for the purpose of re-using them later. Dude, "establishing an image" is the definition of showbaiting a girl. It HELLA matters if she knows, because she's a person--like a real one, with a brain, a heart, etc., I don't buy your sob stories--and if you can't woo me, you certainly couldn't anyone do so to any of the female persuasion, even if you taped your intentions to your back. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Just because I’m practising holding her hand, doesn’t make me a player. Actually, it does, junior division. Players use people to get what they want. Honest people get close to others because it feels good and they want the feeling to be mutual. If I ever wondered how a growing boy starts out his player lifestyle, I think I am now getting a glimpse. Just don't USE people without their consent. Ever. Otherwise, you're a user and a player, and your little heart will turn a hideous purplish black and wither to the size of a walnut. I hope that is clear. Link to post Share on other sites
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