Physical element of relationship virtually non-existent

[whatever136]

Alright, so basically my situation is exactly as the title states. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months now. She broke up with me about a month ago because she was scared of commitment and how serious everything was becoming, but she came back about a week later and told me she realized that was dumb.

 

This time around, everything has been great. We get a long so well, we really have become best friends. However, sometimes it feels like that's all we are. We hardly ever hook up or mess around at all anymore. In fact, since we've been back together, we've only "hooked up" twice. And just for clarification, I do not mean sex when I say hook up.

 

To give you some background, she lost her virginity to me about 3 months ago. I did not push for that at all, she said she wanted to and that she was ready. However, after only having sex about a handful of times in about a week's span or so, she wanted to stop and seemed to regret her decision. We have not had sex since, which is fine because I don't need intercourse to be happy with her because she means so much to me.

 

But...since then the drop off in any sexual activity at all has been incredible, as I said. We hardly do anything at all anymore. Shoot, she hardly even likes to kiss and make out with me. She says that she thinks she has a mental block after having sex and that she doesn't want to end up doing it again until she's ready. I told her that's fine, but we can be intimate without having sex.

 

I don't know what to do anymore, though. I've talked with her about it several times and she always says she will work on it, but it doesn't get better. I just really like affection and feeling close to her and that's all I'm asking for.

 

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't starting to effect my self esteem, as questions like, "is she really attracted to me?" and "what am I doing wrong?" pop into my head. She insists neither of those are the case and that "she's just weird and mental".

 

Any advice? Is there anything I can do to make her more comfortable? I just want to feel like I really have my girlfriend back and not like I'm just hanging out with my best friend all the time...

[Badsingularity]

Give her some space and don't pressure her for anything right now.

 

Make sure you focus on yourself and your own life as well as her. If you have been cutting back on time doing your own thing like ,hobbies, or hanging out with your friends, make sure and go back to doing those things.

 

Space and no pressure is what she needs.

 

Also don't forget to be your own man. If you disagree with her about something don't be afraid to tell her. Always keep your cool. If you are busy with something you already had planned, don't change your plans and run to her if she wants you to.

 

If you have been complaining or whining about anything alot recently stop it. Doing this turns women off.

 

This stuff may not make sense to you, but if you do it you have a much better chance of her wanting to be intimate with you again.

[kaylan]

Im guessing you two are very young OP. Given this, and given the fact that she just lost her virginity to you, Im going to agree with everything Badsingularity said. Hes spot on.

 

Just give it some time. Im not saying give it forever, but give her some time, and be understanding of how she feels.

[whatever136]

Im guessing you two are very young OP. Given this, and given the fact that she just lost her virginity to you, Im going to agree with everything Badsingularity said. Hes spot on.

 

Just give it some time. Im not saying give it forever, but give her some time, and be understanding of how she feels.

 

We're young, but not that young. We're seniors in college and will be out of here in under a year's time. Nevertheless, I appreciate the advice and will take it to heart. It does make sense.