The Kid A Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Okay, so this is kind of a long story. In January, I met this wonderful girl Jill. She is 22 and I'm 26. We hit it off shortly after the New Year. We did lunch, coffee, drinks, etc. After a week, we were on our first date. The next week, we went to a friend's engagement party and she ended up staying the night at my place. Nothing happened, but she did tell me that she liked me and that she wanted to have sex with me. We had only known each other for a little over two weeks, but I had fallen hard, and I knew it. A couple of weeks go buy, and we have a good time, enjoying each other's company. After knowing her for a month, we slept together. It was my first time to have sex. She was so sweet and gentle. We hadn't really defined the relationship, but I assumed that we were dating and it was something more than just a casual hookup. Weeks go buy and we continue to see each other. Then Valentine's day rolled around. I talked to her about and she said it wasn't really a big deal to her, but I wanted to do something nice for her any way. So on Valentine's day, I made her a stupid little card out of some construction paper. I thought it was pretty cute. She called me afterwards to thank me. We didn't do a Valentine's day dinner on Valentine's day, but we discussed doing something later in the week. On Wednesday (2/15), she invited me to go with her to one of her friend's engagement party. While we were there, one of her friends asked if we were dating. I didn't know how to respond. I apologized to Jill and asked her if we could talk about that later. On the ride home, I broached the subject and she said, "Yes, we are dating, but I want to take it slow." The following day, we ended up going to a bar to watch a basketball game and I gave her her Valentine's day gift, a scarf. Over the course of the next few weeks, I noticed a change in her. She seemed to be pulling away, but at the same time was receptive to my ideas. She even went out to dinner with me even though she was sick. We hadn't spent any quality time together for awhile, so at the end of February, I bought her some flowers to say, "Hello." She seemed to like them and we sat on the couch, cuddled, and made out a little bit. I thought things were good. The next Wednesday (3/7) she doesn't return my two phone calls. I was a little annoyed by this, but figured I could worry about it later. I was going out of town for a friend's wedding and we were supposed to go to lunch on Sunday (3/11) when I got back. When I called her on Thursday (3/8), she said that she was going to a friend's concert on Sunday instead and couldn't make it to lunch. So then I asked her about not calling me back, and told her it made me feel unappreciated and ignored. I just didn't like it, especially after it had seemed like she was kind of pulling away. We patched things up for the most part. Sunday, I get back into town and she calls me, and says that she's bailed on her friends and wants me to join her at the bar to watch some basketball. I agree, and we go, and have a good time. After leaving the bar, she comes back to my place and we talk a little bit about us. I tell her that I'm afraid that I like her more than she likes me, and she tells me not to worry about this, but that she's not ready for anything serious right now. I let her know that I'm serious about her but can be patient. I ask her if she's alright with everything right now because I dont really know what she means by taking it slow. She says she's okay with everything, and whens he gets up to leave, we share a passionate kiss. By the way, we always kiss when we say goodbye. Well, the next week things get a bit rocky. Long story short, there was a street festival, and we were supposed to meet up, but she didn't really put in much effort. Sunday (3/18), I was bound and determined to go over to her place and tell her that I was done and that if she wanted to see me, she was going to have to get in touch with me. I wanted to do this face to face. I called her, but she completely disarmed me. I told her that I really wanted to see her, but she told me she was really busy, and if she got free, I'd be the first person she called. That made me feel decently good. I mean it was a nice thing to say. So we talked some that week, and she agreed to let me take her to the airport that Friday so I could see her before she left (3/24). Wednesday (3/21) rolls around and she sounded very stressed on the phone, and said, "I'll call you when I get up from my nap," and never did. I called her Thursday with no response, texted her on Friday that we should get drinks later and got no response. On Sunday while she was away, I called her and got no response. I figured it was over and I'd never speak to her again. Thursday (3/29) she called me, and told me that she was sorry. She started to cry and say that she just got really really stressed out. I told her that it was not cool, and that she could have told me if she needed more space (which I asked her more than once). Basically, I said that I need to take this slower because I have a huge test coming up at the end of May and I can't be distraught like I was the past week, wondering what was going on. I didn't say that, but I did tell her that I need to take it slower so I could focus on my test. For the next three days, she was sending me texts a lot, initiating the conversations. On 4/3, I took her out for drinks and a bite to eat. That night, we did not kiss for the first time in a long time and she told me to be sure that I called her. I said I would. And I did. But she never returned my phone call. On 4/5, I called her later in the evening and said that she was stressing me out too much and that I couldn't handle not being called back, because I was constantly afraid that she was bailing on me or didn't like me anymore. I told her the problem is is that "I can't take it slow because I want for things to be like they were, and I just like you too much." I also told her that she seemed really hot and cold. Then she told me that she had just gotten out of a serious relationship and was having some issues with that. So I proposed this: Know that I like you, but can we take a break until after May? She agreed, and said she understood. Well, about 10 days go by and I fold. I called her back and said, "Hey listen, I know we're not exactly speaking, but I just want you to know that I still care about you and I don't think not speaking is the best way to handle this." She seemed very receptive and said stuff like, "Yeah I really wanted to call you." This made me pretty happy to hear. We texted some back and forth, and ended up going to dinner on 4/18 to a local dive. I took her back to her place and said, "I'm sorry things got so mixed up between us, but I'm happy with you here," and kissed her twice. I figured this was good since she allowed me to kiss her again. But now I'm afraid I shouldn't have. Since then, our communication has been lacking. We're both busy taking finals. I've texted her some, but I'd really like for her to text me back. We are still taking it slow, but it'd mean a lot for me to hear from her. I guess my question is how can I get her to communicate better with me or let her know that I'd like for her to call me more instead of me being the one always reaching out to her. I know that if I called her she'd call me back. I'm just not sure what to do about this girl. For the life of me, I dont' know how things went so well in the beginning and then all of a sudden around mid February things just started to suck. I think this worth trying to salvage, but I just don't have the time for it right now because of this big test at the end of May and I'm worried about getting hurt. I want to tell her this, but I'm afraid it would come off as weak and needy. Here are my concerns: I want her to contact me more And I don't want to contact her too much where she feels like I'm smothering her. How can I address these? I know this is long, but please help.
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