conehead Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I never been in this situation before...for those who have, did it affect your friendship? How did u handle it? Basically, I arranged a double date that involved me, my friend A, my bf, and his friend B. My fiend said she liked B so I arranged a second double date after. B asked for my friends number then and they both went on 2 more one on one dates...so they went on total 4 dates each a week apart. My friend really likes him, says he has the persoanlity she been looking for but never found until now..she said he is also the most good looking guy she ever met in years. But after 4 dates he lost interest and does not want to seem to even go out as a group with her even. Either because he feels awkward or just really dislikes her now. If she is there, he will not be there. I figured we can all still be friends but he seems be avoiding her. My bf said B thinks my friend is weird, so hurtful to hear. My friend is heartbroken, keeps asking me to try to get B to hang out, but I think more she does that the more she is pushing him away. I feel bad for my friend, afraid this will ruin our good friendship as she says it hurts n reminds her of B when she sees me and my bf. She is my closest local friend n B is my bf closest local friend as well. I originally only arranged the first double date for all of us to enjoy good company, did not imagine this to happen. What to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 I'm pretty worried this will ruin our friendship, she seems to have really fallen for this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 What to do? Nothing. He doesn't want her and you need to make it clear to your friend, if she refuses to understand this simple thing, than its her issue, not yours. But you must realize there's NOTHING you can do, just break it down to her gently. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I'm pretty worried this will ruin our friendship, she seems to have really fallen for this guy. Why? It's not like you came between them and you caused him not to like her. And if she'd blame you, than I'd doubt the sincerity of her friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Honestly, your friend needs to grow up & get some perspective. She went on a few dates with the guy over the course of a month, it's not like they had a long term relationship. He hasn't "dumped" her, he just decided he didn't see it going anywhere and has chosen not to pursue her. That's totally reasonable, and if your friend wants to be a drama queen about it that's her problem. I don't understand how this could possibly ruin your friendship. Like it's your fault she fell for a guy after knowing him for a month? Or you forced him not to like her? It sounds like you guys are pretty young... but seriously your friend needs to get a grip and get over it. So she liked a guy and he didn't return her feelings. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I suggest, "I know you really like him and I'd like to help you out here but you're both adults and if he doesn't want to take it any further, that's his decision and I must respect that. I'm sorry it didn't work out." Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted April 6, 2012 Author Share Posted April 6, 2012 I don't think she will blame me, but I fear she will avoid hanging out with me because seeing me will remind her of the guy B. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 I don't think she will blame me, but I fear she will avoid hanging out with me because seeing me will remind her of the guy B. It's always pretty dangerous territory to hook up close friends/relatives with someone you know or what not, because this is kind of the normal backlash you get when it doesn't work out...you lose one or the other and since you were involved It kinda involves you in the drama where had you just let them do things themselves then that would have been their thing. It's going to be a little difficult/awkward in the beginning because she is still into the guy, so there may be a period of time where she doesn't want to be around but your friendship will endure If you've been friends this long she just needs to get over him a little bit and move her sights to some other guy, then she'll be able to cope and get over it. But be honest with her so she can get over it, tell her that's ok If there was some incompatibility there, that's why you date...don't get hung up on one guy, there's still a lot more out there and just encourage her to focus on something other than guys...I know many women like to jump from one horse to another to feel desirable again but that's not good practice and usually leads to bad decisions because you're emotionally distraught...hopefully after 4 dates though she moves on quickly, this is definitely not the worst thing that could have happened. Link to post Share on other sites
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