Dating Girls Who Have a Boyfriend

[casanovadude81]

The way I feel about girls with a boyfriend is if he makes her happy I should leave that a lone. Otherwise I’ll do my best to make her happy? I feel this way about the girls I meet in real life, even about the ones I see posting here on LS. Dating is much more fun when you don’t limit yourself needlessly.

[Oxy Moronovich]

What is this thread about? Are you afraid to ask out a girl with a boyfriend?

 

If she's interested in you, but has a boyfriend, that means she wants to leave her boyfriend for you. Women like to make sure they're secure in another relationship before quitting their current bf. It's kind of like how people will make sure they've definitely got a new job before quitting their old one.

 

Many guys feel uncomfortable with getting chicks who have boyfriends, even when the woman is obviously interested in leaving their current dude for them. Then these guys wonder why the only gf they've ever been truly close with is their right hand.

[casanovadude81]

Many guys feel uncomfortable with getting chicks who have boyfriends, even when the woman is obviously interested in leaving their current dude for them. Then these guys wonder why the only gf they've ever been truly close with is their right hand.

 

This right here is what the thread is about. Although I wouldn't go so far as to say not thinking this way will result in the only gf being their right hand. They certainly are missing out on some great girls if they think they can only go after single girls.

[SmileFace]

Why .... Even ? ... Sigh

[casanovadude81]

Please SmileFace, tell me what is it?

[SmileFace]

This post has to be a joke, right? You aren't truthfully stating that guys should pursue girls with boyfriends?

[Oxy Moronovich]

This post has to be a joke, right? You aren't truthfully stating that guys should pursue girls with boyfriends?

Are you a guy or girl? Either way, if you think guys shouldn't pursue women with boyfriends then you are painfully naive.

[SmileFace]

Are you a guy or girl? Either way, if you think guys shouldn't pursue women with boyfriends then you are painfully naive.

I wouldn't respect anyone who will continue to pursue me if they knew I was in a relationship. Yea, miss chances but oh well.

[casanovadude81]

This post has to be a joke, right? You aren't truthfully stating that guys should pursue girls with boyfriends?

 

Yes I truly believe they should. Notice I also detailed leave a girl who is truly happy with her boyfriend alone.

 

For a very short time in my life I took the information that a girl has a boyfriend as an absolute. I learned through life experience that things are more complicated then that.

 

If you were in a relationship and we met and I asked you out knowing full well you had a boyfriend that might be the kick you needed to leave him. My life experiences tell me this to be true.

 

Are you a guy or girl? Either way, if you think guys shouldn't pursue women with boyfriends then you are painfully naive.

 

 

I think it can be seen as a harsh reality. Life experience has shown it to me. I would say this information is more for my dating experiences as a man so I can’t say how it applies to women.

 

I wouldn't respect anyone who will continue to pursue me if they knew I was in a relationship. Yea, miss chances but oh well.

 

I’m not talking about being the drunk in a bar who doesn’t take no for an answer. I’m talking about two people connecting and making a go at it.

 

If I like some one and I see an opportunity I’m going to take my chance but in no means will I disrespect myself or the girl. If people lose respect for me so be it I find it’s a losing proposition to live your life for the sole benefit of others.

 

Treat others as you yourself want to be treated is what I say. I want the people in the relationship to cherish and protect it not the people outside of it. I have no doubts a beautiful girl will get hit on with a boyfriend or not and I also see how things work. A girl who doesn’t want to be in a relationship will not last. No reason not to go after what you want.

[SmileFace]

I’m not talking about being the drunk in a bar who doesn’t take no for an answer. I’m talking about two people connecting and making a go at it.

 

If I like some one and I see an opportunity I’m going to take my chance but in no means will I disrespect myself or the girl. If people lose respect for me so be it I find it’s a losing proposition to live your life for the sole benefit of others.

 

Treat others as you yourself want to be treated is what I say. I want the people in the relationship to cherish and protect it not the people outside of it. I have no doubts a beautiful girl will get hit on with a boyfriend or not and I also see how things work. A girl who doesn’t want to be in a relationship will not last. No reason not to go after what you want.

 

Ok, and that is what I am saying. I am not referring to any joe who may show me attention on the street. For example when I was away the last couple months I fell for a coworker. We had amazing chemistry, could talk for hours. However when I met him he was in a relationship that ended shortly. .... Ugh scratch whateva I was about to say. Probably if I actually pursued him farther or showed more interest instead of trying to respect his gf/ex. We may have been together. Ugh I guess your right. He did tell me I should have said something sooner. I get your point dude... I agree, sigh

[PhillyDude]

a girl will always have some guy she is KIND OF SEEING anyway so there is really no difference.

 

Especially if they are attractive

[Badsingularity]

As long as you don't mind other guys trying to take your future GF from YOU.

[casanovadude81]

As long as you don't mind other guys trying to take your future GF from YOU.

 

Whether you mind it or not it can easily happen. If your gf gets asked out its up to her to say no. Would you really want a gf who is just with you because no other guys asked her out while you were dating?

[fallenenvy]

I don't really see a problem with it but i think there is a point where one can go too far....

 

I had a guy at work start after me.. knowing full well i had a bf. It ended up being creepy because he just wouldn't stop.(especially trying to come over which i wasn't having) I wasn't interested in him and made it VERY clear ie. 'look.. you are nice but i have a bf and im not interested in you.' And still he didn't back off.

 

I informed him my bf was about to move in with me (coming from a state 12 hours away mind you)... and that still didn't phase him...

 

The only thing that got the guy off my back was my bf showing up at work one day and standing next to me menacing-ish glaring at the guy (my bf was a very very large man)

 

I get it if theres mutual attraction but if i feel like if i make it clear that i am happy in a relationship and not interested in you or your dick... it's polite to back off.... just saying....

[Badsingularity]

Whether you mind it or not it can easily happen. If your gf gets asked out its up to her to say no. Would you really want a gf who is just with you because no other guys asked her out while you were dating?

 

I understand what your saying, but I still think it's kind of scummy.

 

My GF has been hit on and asked out by damn near every guy she met in the last few years. Ofcourse she told them all no, but sometimes the guys would keep trying even after she told them about me.

 

I never needed to try to get with girls who already had BFs.

 

Although I had a few girls try to get with me even though they had BFs.

 

To be honest I would not want a girl who was only staying with her BF because no one else asked her out.

[kaylan]

What is this thread about? Are you afraid to ask out a girl with a boyfriend?

 

If she's interested in you, but has a boyfriend, that means she wants to leave her boyfriend for you. Women like to make sure they're secure in another relationship before quitting their current bf. It's kind of like how people will make sure they've definitely got a new job before quitting their old one.

 

Many guys feel uncomfortable with getting chicks who have boyfriends, even when the woman is obviously interested in leaving their current dude for them. Then these guys wonder why the only gf they've ever been truly close with is their right hand.

Actually guys are rightfully cautious about those chicks because shell do the same thing to them. She aint worth much and those dudes need to wise up.

 

A chick who bounces around relationships with her GIGS, or cheats on her bfs, is just a pump and dump girl imo. Id never date her seriously.

I wouldn't respect anyone who will continue to pursue me if they knew I was in a relationship. Yea, miss chances but oh well.

Agreed. I lose major respect for people who dont respect others relationships

Edited April 3, 2012 by kaylan

[PhillyDude]

It was always pointless for me to get attention from a woman who already had a boyfriend

[Oxy Moronovich]

Sure, there are some women who don't like it. But there are definitely some women who openly flirt with guys while they are in a relationship. That's a fact. Everyone knows that there are many cases where a woman has a boyfriend but actively looking for someone new.

 

Some women are happy in the relationships with their bfs. Some are not. It's the ones who are not that are fair game. Yet there are lame dudes who won't try to get these women.

As long as you don't mind other guys trying to take your future GF from YOU.

Ah yes, you're trying to say there's some sort of "dating karma" where the bad things you do will come back to haunt you. Know what I say to that? I call it total BS.

 

The first girl I fell in love with was 17, my age at the time. We were both virgins who were saving ourselves for marriage. I was the type of beta male who not only didn't like to flirt with girls in relationships, I was hesitant to flirt with girls that might be in relationships. For two years I played the good guy. But, 19, she got pregnant with another guy and blamed me. After the whole incident had calmed down and the truth was revealed, I found out she had been sleeping and flirting with a number of other guys.

 

So tell me, BadSingularity, where was this dating karma? Guys had taken my gf/future wife despite the fact that I'd never done anything to other guys like that in the past. Even if you play the role of the nice guy, you can still lose in the end.

[casanovadude81]

So tell me, BadSingularity, where was this dating karma? Guys had taken my gf/future wife despite the fact that I'd never done anything to other guys like that in the past. Even if you play the role of the nice guy, you can still lose in the end.

 

The logic falls flat. (his and similar) If you go around looking out for everyone but yourself you'll make it more likely you miss out on things.

 

If a guy meets a beautiful girl, the type who spouts out "I have a bf" but who is ready to leave him. You are doing her bf no favors by not taking him away from her. If anything you've just pushed things farther down the line for the clueless guy for some other guy to come in ask her out and then in return she goes home and is asked to leave.

[Pierre]

The logic falls flat. (his and similar) If you go around looking out for everyone but yourself you'll make it more likely you miss out on things.

 

If a guy meets a beautiful girl, the type who spouts out "I have a bf" but who is ready to leave him. You are doing her bf no favors by not taking him away from her. If anything you've just pushed things farther down the line for the clueless guy for some other guy to come in ask her out and then in return she goes home and is asked to leave.

 

Do not pay attention to woman that want to cheat. Why do you want to do this? There are plenty of free un-attached women.

 

The attached female may seem more interested in you because she is looking to cheat and she has found a person that is willing to participate in deceitful behavior. Since you are willing to be part of a romantic triangle she will show interest. Why do you see yourself as the man that has to be hidden from the light to make sure the BF does not catch you f****ing his GF. It is a cowardly action.

[casanovadude81]

Do not pay attention to woman that want to cheat. Why do you want to do this? There are plenty of free un-attached women.

 

The attached female may seem more interested in you because she is looking to cheat and she has found a person that is willing to participate in deceitful behavior. Since you are willing to be part of a romantic triangle she will show interest. Why do you see yourself as the man that has to be hidden from the light to make sure the BF does not catch you f****ing his GF. It is a cowardly action.

 

Is it cheating to chase an unengaged unmarried woman knowing she is dating some one to have her break up with her bf for you? I mean all the response have been in line to “If she breaks up with her boyfriend for you, she’ll just break up with you for another guy.” That’s what I meant by skewed logic. I don’t find this to be cheating at all.

 

I feel like people hear the word boyfriend and tend to assume the woman is happily in love and heading toward engagement and marriage with children. That is often not the reality.

 

I am by no means suggesting a love triangle with a girl happy to be in her relationship but wanting a second. I thought I made that clear in my OP.

[Oxy Moronovich]

The logic falls flat. (his and similar) If you go around looking out for everyone but yourself you'll make it more likely you miss out on things.

 

If a guy meets a beautiful girl, the type who spouts out "I have a bf" but who is ready to leave him. You are doing her bf no favors by not taking him away from her. If anything you've just pushed things farther down the line for the clueless guy for some other guy to come in ask her out and then in return she goes home and is asked to leave.

Yes, you're actually doing her the favor in her eyes by relieving her of her unhappy relationship. I was once that clueless guy that made her unhappy by not fulfilling her desires. I didn't understand how women operate. As a result, I got shafted in the end while some other dudes got to have sex with my gf who I hadn't even had sex with yet.

Do not pay attention to woman that want to cheat. Why do you want to do this? There are plenty of free un-attached women.

 

The attached female may seem more interested in you because she is looking to cheat and she has found a person that is willing to participate in deceitful behavior. Since you are willing to be part of a romantic triangle she will show interest. Why do you see yourself as the man that has to be hidden from the light to make sure the BF does not catch you f****ing his GF. It is a cowardly action.

Why does the guy with the Sean Connery avatar sound like such a beta male?

 

Like I said, women prefer to leave their unhappy relationship only after they're secure in a new one. It's just like quitting your job til you're hired for a new job. Do you people not understand this? It's the way women operate. There's nothing you can do to change it.

 

Women do this because they have a strong fear of loneliness. It's a strong fear that many men don't understand about women. Once guys understand this about women they'll understand why a woman with a bf who flirts with you is fair game. Hell, he's her bf, not her husband, for crying out loud.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Is it cheating to chase an unengaged unmarried woman knowing she is dating some one to have her break up with her bf for you? I mean all the response have been in line to “If she breaks up with her boyfriend for you, she’ll just break up with you for another guy.” That’s what I meant by skewed logic. I don’t find this to be cheating at all.

 

I feel like people hear the word boyfriend and tend to assume the woman is happily in love and heading toward engagement and marriage with children. That is often not the reality.

 

I am by no means suggesting a love triangle with a girl happy to be in her relationship but wanting a second. I thought I made that clear in my OP.

Yes. Guys need to understand this. Not all women with bfs are happy in their relationships. If she seems interested enough to go out with you, then that already proves that she has emotionally broken off the relationship. Relationships are about emotion. If she looks at other guys, she's already emotionally dead from her boyfriend. Without emotional attachment to her bf, the relationship is dead. So there's nothing to be bothered by here.

 

casanovadude, I have met way too many males who say, "She seems interested. But I can't do it because she has a boyfriend." Then these mopey dopes sit around wallowing in their loneliness. I can't feel sorry for dudes like that.

[casanovadude81]

casanovadude, I have met way too many males who say, "She seems interested. But I can't do it because she has a boyfriend." Then these mopey dopes sit around wallowing in their loneliness. I can't feel sorry for dudes like that.

 

I really liked when you pointed out his Sean Connery avatar. The actor made famous for playing the guy who gets the girl... even if that girl is trying to kill him.

[Pierre]

Is it cheating to chase an unengaged unmarried woman knowing she is dating some one to have her break up with her bf for you? I mean all the response have been in line to “If she breaks up with her boyfriend for you, she’ll just break up with you for another guy.” That’s what I meant by skewed logic. I don’t find this to be cheating at all.

 

I feel like people hear the word boyfriend and tend to assume the woman is happily in love and heading toward engagement and marriage with children. That is often not the reality.

 

I am by no means suggesting a love triangle with a girl happy to be in her relationship but wanting a second. I thought I made that clear in my OP.

 

BF/GF is a relationship. The fact that there is no marriage certificate is moot.

 

If this female wants you she can always break up with her BF.

 

You should never get involved with women that are seeing other men.

 

But, I go further: Lets assume she is casually dating a few men and shows interest in you. You should also be hesitant to be added to her stable of men.

 

Take care of yourself.