rockchickit Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 Hi I am in need of advice....badly....I have met a wonderful man whom I have dated for the past couple of months....now being the age I am you would think that I would have kept my feelings in tact but somehow this man swept me off my feet and I fell in love with him.....and he with me....Recently however I found out he was only 29 and I'm 41.......Do you think this relationship has a chance? I believe with all my heart it will.....if you want it too....and if we love each other as we say we do.....He is unsure....he thinks the age difference will interfere even though we love each other....I need some insight...Im not a stupid woman....I know all relationships take hard work and commitment....but I also believe that if 2 pople feel the way we do...that anything is possible...and that we should atleast continue to see each other and see where the road leads us....instead of throwing it away to the what ifs...... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 He is unsure....he thinks the age difference will interfere even though we love each other Unfortunately, this is why it will not work. If you had said that HE said that love will conquer all, I'd say go for it, but the most likely reason such a relationship would break up would be the doubts of the younger person. He has them, so there's no point in trying to talk him out of them. I'm sorry to say it, but you'd best break it off. It will hurt now but will likely hurt even more the longer you spend with him. Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 I agree with moimeme.... he apparently has already stated what the future holds for you 2.... whether it be intentional or not... one of you has feelings of doubt and thats all it takes for a relationship to eventually end... call it foresight i guess on his part.... id take the neccessary precautions to prevent yourself from falling in love with him any further than you have... and protect yourself. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 This is just a reinforcement of what everyone else has said. The fact that he has doubts, is a very bad sign. If you are determined to make it work though, get to the root of his doubts! Why does he doubt it? Because you two are on two different paths in life and want different things? Or because he is afraid of what people might think of the age difference? Definitely get to the bottom of his doubts and then maybe you might have a chance to persuade him otherwise. Doubts can be replaced with "sureness" but it takes some work. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 Originally posted by rockchickit He is unsure.... Sorry, have to agree with the other posters here, it's not the age itself - in itself it is far from an unsurmountable obstacle - but the fact that it seems that your lover has a problem with said age gap. Understanding why won't change this fact. All I can think is to give him space. Let him go and tell him if he ever feels 'sure' (and you're still available) that he should call you. He's 29 and mature enough to know his own mind so if he doesn chose to pursue things you'll be on 'surer' ground. R. Link to post Share on other sites
greyskies Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 I have just broke up with my younger bf and it was ssssooooo hard for me. We had the same age range as you both. And they just like to be with an older women so they can take everything we teach them and then they can use it on someone more their own age. But dont break up with him. Your old enough to keep your feelings in check. Just kick back and enjoy the ride until he starts losing interest. Then it is over. Men dont know how to focus on the big picture just the here and now. Thats my opinion. Oh yeah, him and I have remained friends so far anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 i've had the younger man; i empathize. i adored mine; he was infinitely more mature than me. i agree with above. the biggest indicator for you should be *his* concerns about it; it smacks loudly of uncertainty and it should serve as a clear warning to you that this has no long term potential. it is him as an individual, not him as a younger man, that should worry you. have some fun; make it a fling; sex him up the block and back if you like, but start moseying on for greener but more mature pastures. Link to post Share on other sites
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